A great philosopher once asked, “How high can a marble jump?” I don’t know. How high can a marble jump? Today, we’ll find out. Like in the inferior human high jump, marbles get a running start before attempting to launch … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E13 High Jump

After a two-month hiatus, Marbula E is back! This time we’re off to the streets of Berlin for some exciting German auto racing. Can anyone catch up with Mercedes-Benz on their home turf? Let’s see if two solid months of … Continue reading Marbula E Race 4 “Berlin”

Greg Woods describes the relay run as an event that combines speed and teamwork. This is an accurate description: marbles have to go fast and perform proper handoffs. That’s really the core of it. Nothing else to worry about, I … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E12 Relay Run

This year, the JMRC has developed a new event for the Marble League: the Black Hole Funnel. It’s a test of endurance, rather than speed or finesse. Like an actual black hole, the funnel draws marbles toward its core, from … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E11 Black Hole Funnel

there is no joy. only marble. marble go fast in straight line. vroom vroom. Some, like whoever wrote the preceding paragraph, might consider the 5M sprint a boring event. But the joy of watching a come-from-behind victory is undeniable. Let’s … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E10 5M Sprint

The sand mogul race is as much a test of strategy as it is a test of speed. It isn’t simply a matter of rolling down the hill as fast as you can; selecting the optimal route across the sand … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E9 Sand Mogul Race

Marbles are good at one thing: rolling. The triathlon asks: What if marbles had to be good at three things? Let’s find out, shall we? The Marble League triathlon dispenses with the order of the typical triathlon by placing the … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E8 Triathlon

Our orbicular athletes have shown off their speed and finesse. Now it’s time for a test of raw strength. Welcome to block pushing. The first four runs don’t produce much in the way of interest. But in Run #5, the … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E7 Block Pushing

Marbles can roll, revolve, and rotate. They’ve even been known to slide. But one thing they cannot do is jump. That doesn’t stop them from overcoming hurdles, though. As one wise glass ball once said: “The only way out is … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E6 Hurdles

We know marbles can run. We know marbles can slide. We know marbles can shake. But can marbles soar? That’s what the long jump event aims to answer. In this contest, each marble travels down a steep track and then … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E5 Long Jump

If English physicist Isaac Newton were alive today, surely he would see the Marble League as the greatest possible tribute to his work. No other competition, on YouTube or other, inferior channels, succeeds at capturing the essence of his three … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E4 Newton’s Cradle

One of the Marble League’s most beloved and most nail-biting events is back. Funnel endurance tests how good our orbicular athletes are at fighting the twin forces of elliptical orbits and gravity.[footnote]Shut up. I haven’t studied kinematics in over a … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E3 Funnel Endurance

The halfpipe is a test of endurance. The goal is for the team to remain inside the halfpipe for as long as it possibly can. Great strength is required to remain inside the pipe without slipping, and marbles without sufficient … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E2 Halfpipe

It’s finally here. We’re ready to begin Marble League 2020, the Internet’s premier marble sports tournament. 16 teams will go head-to-head in gruelling contests of ball-on-ball action. Those 16 teams are: Team Galactic [Hosts] Raspberry Racers Hazers Green Ducks Savage … Continue reading Marble League 2020 E1 Balancing

This is it. It all comes down to the Lap Race. Graze of Glory sits atop the standings with a comfortable lead. Can anyone catch them? Let’s find out. Milky Madness has a comfortable lead for most of this race’s … Continue reading Last Marble Standing E6 Lap Race

Yesterday we saw 20 teams vying for a chance to compete in the 2020 Marble League. Today, the four teams that automatically qualified are going head-to-head in a friendly round, just for kicks. Let’s check in on them and see … Continue reading Marble League 2020 Friendly Round

ML 2020 is almost here. Anticipation is in the air. But before the main tournament, teams have to qualify for a chance at vitreous victory. There are four events here: balancing; funnel endurance; block pushing; and the 5-metre sprint. Let’s … Continue reading Marble League 2020 Qualifiers

The ancient Egyptian pyramids were built without the use of the wheel. Large stones had to be pushed or dragged along the ground to get from the quarry to the construction site. This was no doubt a difficult and dangerous … Continue reading Last Marble Standing E5 Block Pushing

Marbles are fragile and prone to chipping, cracking, and in rare cases, shattering. That’s why collision is such a hotly-anticipated event: it’s not everyday that marbles smash into each other on purpose. In the round robin, Semi-Skimmers and Milky Madness … Continue reading Last Marble Standing E4 Collision

Can marbles fly? Historical records show that this question was first asked only three weeks after the invention of the marble.[footnote][citation needed][/footnote] Today, Jelle & Co. attempt to answer that question with a long jump competition. If any marble manages … Continue reading Last Marble Standing E3 Long Jump

After more than month off, Marbula E is back. This time, we’re off to the winding streets and broad boulevards of Jakarta. The qualifying round is a bit of a mess. Only one marble manages to clear the 17-second mark: … Continue reading Marbula E Race 3 “Jakarta”