One of the Marble League’s most beloved and most nail-biting events is back. Funnel endurance tests how good our orbicular athletes are at fighting the twin forces of elliptical orbits and gravity.[footnote]Shut up. I haven’t studied kinematics in over a decade.[/footnote] In contrast to race events, the last marble standing takes the crown. That means that just like a tournament bracket, the losers are determined before the winners.

Group A has some fierce competition: the Savage Speeders swing wildly back and forth between second and last place, ultimately finishing in second. But the heat is dominated by the Green Ducks, who finish a full 15 seconds after the Speeders. Those quackers sure took their sweet time!

Meanwhile, Group B has a less interesting heat: Kinnowin of the O’rangers dominates the competition, and though he has to fend of a challenge from the Crazy Cat’s Eyes in one of the green funnels, it’s smooth sailing otherwise.

The top 8 finishers from the two heats go on to compete in the final. This is an exciting contest, with the lead trading between multiple marbles. Things get really dicey in the last funnel, with Minty Maniacs practically changing direction near the end after the Savage Speeders fall through. But they manage to hold on for slightly longer than the O’rangers to obtain their second gold.

Stray observations:

• The green funnels have been a great addition to this event. They generate some real nail-biters.
• Minty Maniacs now have three medals. They remain in the top spot in the overall standings.
• Mellow Yellow drops to last place in the overall standings. Maybe they ought to lay off the doobies.

Next week, it’s the Newton’s Cradle.[footnote]Damn, kinematics again? You mock me, Jelle.[/footnote] Stay tuned!

Complete stats for Marble League 2020 can be found at the Jelle’s Marble Runs Wiki.