Movie recap/reviews from Afropig on the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas series of movies
Welcome to part two of my descent into madness aka Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas! They say that the sequel is always better. The writers have taken the beloved bits from the first installment to create excellent cinema. Aliens threw in … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas 2023 Recap: Part 2
Every year, I embark on my Hallmark journey. It’s been a long arduous…FIVE YEARS?! I’ve been doing this for five years, which says a lot about the trajectory of my life. Some years have been leaner than others when it … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas 2023 Recap: Part 1
It’s October which means we’re once again nearing the dawn of Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas, programming that somehow manages to be an affront to both God and Satan. However, before diving into this year’s crop of WASPs kissing in a … Continue reading Hallmark Halloween: 3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Ghost Recap/Review
After what feels like a million years, it’s finally Christmas. Time off, cool gifts, and precious moments with your loved ones. Oh, it’s not real Christmas? It’s Christmas in July, a Hallmark cash grab? Fine. I guess we’re going to … Continue reading Hallmark Christmas in July: A Royal Christmas Crush Recap/Review
Time marches on and so does Hallmark, never letting up on telling us that Christmas is the most wonderful time to fall in love with some dude from your hometown. Next up on our Christmas Cavalcade of Horrors is A … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: A Tale of Two Christmases Recap/Review
I’m back and ready to see Christmas decorations splattered across every banister and landing. However, in this round, we’re gonna get real classy and go to merry old England. So maybe a mince pie on every banister. We’re watching A … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: The Royal Nanny Recap/Review
While not a Hallmark, I’ve made an exception for this Christmas film. Hallmark pioneered the throwaway Christmas movie lineup over 20 years ago (yep, the first original Hallmark Christmas movie aired in 2000 and starred Beau Bridges) and now every … Continue reading Christmas Crap: Netflix’s Falling for Christmas Recap/Review
It’s finally the most wonderful time of the year! With October comes visions of gingerbread houses, overdecorated fir trees, and Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas. And as is tradition, I will watch some of them and tell you what horrors can … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Noel Next Door Recap/Review
It’s July and the world is experiencing a particularly brutal heatwave. You know what that means? Christmas sweaters and Balsam Hill Christmas trees! That’s right. Hallmark took their industrial fake snow machine out of storage, flew in their most available … Continue reading Hallmark Christmas in July: Campfire Christmas Recap and Review
Gather round my babies because I have some important info to share with you. Hallmark, home of bland Christmas movies and sometimes greeting cards, has gifted us a festive film starring none other than Bruce Campbell himself! So, this isn’t … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: One December Night Recap/Review
So seeing as I’m released from recapping EVERY Hallmark this year, I get to pick the ones that either interest me or you, the people. Here by popular demand is The Santa Stakeout! Tanya is a police detective who is … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: The Santa Stakeout Recap/Review
You thought you were rid of me, eh? I rise from the dead to provide you with Christmas content by way of Hallmark. That’s right. Countdown to Christmas returns! Last year was a little spotty for me on these recaps … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: You, Me & The Christmas Trees Recap/Review
Do you hate morning shows? Do you hate Hallmark? Then you should steer clear of this film. Otherwise, come right on in. This time we’re watching Good Morning Christmas! Synopsis: Two squabbling TV hosts are sent to a festive small … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Good Morning Christmas! Recap/Review
It is my duty to continue to bring cheesy Christmas films to you throughout the year. Even if you’re not interested, you should at least be in awe of my misplaced dedication and moxie. I’ll be publishing a recap of … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: A Nashville Christmas Carol Recap/Review
After many a mishap and delayed viewings, I’m back to watching Countdown to Christmas 2020. I will continue publishing a Countdown to Christmas every other week or so, so get jolly. My commitment is unyielding! The next on the list? … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Christmas She Wrote Recap/Review
With Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater being a nice but plain showing, I had low expectations for A Timeless Christmas…UNTIL I read the synopsis. Synopsis: Charles Whitley travels from 1903 to 2020 where he meets Megan Turner … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: A Timeless Christmas Recap/Review
My reviews are late, but if you’re watching this in the future, this means nothing to you. So, this is one of the films that I’ve been looking forward to due to the dumb title. My hopes are slightly up, … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater Recap/Review
I thought this film was called 12 Dates of Christmas which filled me with some mild excitement. I imagined it was going to be about a woman who goes on 12 dates with each being worst than the last. In … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: On the 12th Date of Christmas Recap/Review
If you know anything about my film “reviews,” you know that I loathe royal films. Doofy female lead meets English guy in suit who happens to be a prince of a country ending in -tania or -erg. Needless to say, … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: One Royal Holiday Recap/Review
In the last episode, two people in their late 20s/early 30s fell in love after overcoming seemingly unsurmountable obstacles. Will today’s couple experience a similar outcome or meet a different fate? Yes, it’s a new Hallmark and, yes, we can … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Chateau Christmas Recap/Review
A hearty welcome to you, dear reader! For today is the day that I announce the beginning of my recaps of Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas 2020. Here’s this year’s lineup. Which are YOU most excited about? And the film to … Continue reading Hallmark Countdown to Christmas: Jingle Bell Bride Recap/Review
