Marbula One is just a few short days away (here’s a trailer), but in the meantime, Jelle & Co. have been generous enough to tide us over with a bonus sand rally race, this time featuring animal-themed marbles. Let’s meet … Continue reading Animal Marble Race

The final marble race of the year is here! Will Red Number 3 stay atop the podium, or will Ghost Plasma or Superball come from behind to claim first place? Let’s find out, shall we? Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #8

It’s the seventh race in the 2019 Marble Rally, and tensions are building out on the sand. Fan favourite Red Number 3 holds the lead in the overall standings, but Ghost Plasma is nipping at his heels, and Superball could … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #7

A week after a humiliating eight-second loss to Red Number 3, these colourful balls of determination are back on the track to prove their mettle. But for the second week in a row, it’s a false start. Uh oh. Things … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #6

It’s been over a month since the last race in the 2019 Marble Rally, and our favourite orbicular athletes have been itching to get back out onto the sand.[footnote]Some might argue that sand causes itching, but these marbles don’t have … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #5

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! It’s time for the Marble League’s scariest annual tradition: the Halloween Race! This is an elimination race where after founds rounds of racing, the lowest-scoring marble in the overall standings is fed to the spiders. Final podium position is … Continue reading Halloween Marble Race 2019

In a Marble Rally race, a lot can change in a few seconds. A marble can break away from the pack and seize a big lead. A promising competitor can crash out. Several rolling racers can change position all at … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #4

You thought Red No. 3 had this one in the bag, didn’t you? You fool. You absolute nincompoop. Beloved competitor and odds-on favourite to win the whole gosh darn competition Red No. 3 crashed out in this race, along with … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #3

The great thing about the Marble Rally is that every race is different from the previous one. Whereas last week’s race was a knockout brawl that saw several marbles fail to reach the end of the track, this week’s is … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #2

The 2019 Marble Rally is finally here! Viewers are used to watching these round racers compete in tournaments where teamwork and sportsmanship play important roles. Not so for the Marble Rally, a solo event that is anything but good, clean … Continue reading Marble Rally 2019: Race #1

It always struck me as odd that the title “The Human League” was wasted on a British synthpop band rather than on a brutal contest where people compete in gruelling athletic events that could result in severe injury. The title … Continue reading Marble League Showdown 2019: Event #4 – Balancing

More like the funnel anti-race, amirite? That’s right, an ironically named Marble League favourite is back, and this one requires our spherical sportsmen to sloooooow down: the marble that stays on the course the longest wins. This is an endurance … Continue reading Marble League Showdown 2019: Event #3 – Funnel Race

When you were first learning how to drive, your parents probably told you, “No collisions!” Well, the Marble League’s planetoid pugilists are here to prove that your parents were cowards. This week’s event is basically a 5-on-5 sumo competition, if … Continue reading Marble League Showdown 2019: Event #2 – Collision

The MarbleLympics are back, baby! And this time they have a new, less copyright-infringing name: the Marble League.[footnote]The competition’s tag on this site has been changed to reflect this.[/footnote] If you’re just joining us for the first time, the Marble … Continue reading Marble League Showdown: Event #1 – Sand Rally

It’s all down to this: the final event of the 2019 MarbleLympics. Will the Raspberry Racers hold onto the top spot? Will newcomers the Green Ducks steal it from them? Or will the Hazers achieve a shocking come-from-behind victory? It … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #16 – Sand Rally + Closing Ceremony

After a string of speed-based events, it’s time for an all-out brawl. The marbles that once relied once relied on sheer velocity[footnote]Not to be confused with the Savage Speeder of that name.[/footnote] must now rely on strength and finesse. Adding … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #15 – Collision

The “surfing” event of the MarbleLympics is something like a biathlon, and in more ways than one: not only does the event involve two separate activities – a surfboard contest and an underwater race – but our athletes get two … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #14 – Surfing

Much like NBC’s America-centric coverage of the HumanLympics, the MarbleLympics are not broadcast live. The videos are filmed, edited, and layered with inspirational music. But this means that an editing error can delay the official release of a video, as … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #13 – Elimination Race

Equestrian events have long been a source of controversy in the HumanLympics[footnote]Some people refer to that competition as “the” Olympics. We here at Marble HQ do not approve of this colloquialism.[/footnote]: is it really fair to give medals to humans … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #12 – Rafting

Humans don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Marbles, on the other hand, love sand. Their smooth surfaces make it hard for grains to stick to them, so they can glide across the dunes … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #11 – Dirt Race

(Apologies for the abbreviated writeup. Typing on a laptop on a hotel bed isn’t exactly conducive to penning good prose.) This is it: the twisty, shifty, mindbending marble maze (brought to you by Hubelino!) There is no strategy here. No … Continue reading MarbleLympics 2019: Event #10 – Hubelino Maze