It always struck me as odd that the title “The Human League” was wasted on a British synthpop band rather than on a brutal contest where people compete in gruelling athletic events that could result in severe injury. The title “The Marble League,” however, faces no such problems. This is indeed a brutal contest with the very real possibility of severe injury. The only difference is that the athletes in this contest don’t have to deal with petty human foibles, such as the need to respire oxygen.
But don’t hold your breath: we’re about to dive right into the final event of the 2019 Marble League Showdown: Balancing. A name like Balancing evokes skill and finesse, but this is an event where a strong launch and good speed down the straightaway are just as important as one’s ability to perform the titular activity; if you’re not travelling straight down the platform, you’re going to list one way or the other.
Too many marbles think of this event as a tightrope walk, and there are a lot who can’t crack the 70 cm mark, because they’re just moving too slowly. But many marbles also go full steam ahead and make it to the end of the track. When all’s said and done, Team Primary takes the gold, the Snowballs take the silver, and newcomers the Hornets take the bronze.
- No Marble League records broken this event. I’m so used to seeing records broken that I couldn’t help but feel a bit let down.
- At least the Limers finally finished in the top half of the pack. Too bad it wasn’t enough to qualify.
- I’d really like to hear the judges’ reasoning on rewarding 10 extra centimetres for finishing in the green receptacle rather than going off a corner at the end. The gap isn’t even 5 cm!
The host for the 2020 Marble League has been announced: Team Galactic! Does that mean we’re going to space? I’m excited.
Complete stats for the Marble League Showdown can be found at the Marble League Wiki.