Marble League Showdown 2019: Event #3 – Funnel Race

More like the funnel anti-race, amirite?

That’s right, an ironically named Marble League favourite is back, and this one requires our spherical sportsmen to sloooooow down: the marble that stays on the course the longest wins. This is an endurance test, not a sprint, and the marbles know that they could be in for a gruelling event.

The structure of the event is as follows: there are two heats of six teams each. The top 3 finishers in each heat move on to the finals.

The first heat is pretty consistent. The Rojo Rollers and Minty Maniacs play it fairly conservatively and manage to finish in second and third respectively. The Snowballs play a little more aggressively, and it pays off with a first-place victory.

The second heat sees a lot of dramatic twists of fate. The Bumblebees are all the way out ahead (which, remember, is bad in this event), but they manage to dial it down and finish in first place, followed by the Hornets and the Shining Swarm. Some insectile collusion, perhaps?

But collusion can only get the airborne arthropods so far. Shining Swarm and the Hornets suffer a catastrophic defeat, landing in fifth and sixth, respectively. Meanwhile, the Bumblebees squander a podium position by dropping through two funnels in quick succession right at the end to claim the fourth place spot. Minty Maniacs and Rojo Rollers nab silver and bronze, respectively, while the Snowballs’ decision to play more conservatively in the final pays off with a solid gold finish. Well done, you frozen fiends.

Stray thoughts:

  • GOD DAMN IT LIMERS HOW COULD YOU SQUANDER THAT LEAD????
  • GOD DAMN IT TURTLE SLIDERS HOW COULD YOU SQUANDER THAT LEAD????

The final event of the Marble League Showdown, Balancing, is scheduled for next week.

Complete stats for the Marble League Showdown can be found at the Marble League Wiki.