At last, you reach the end of the tunnel, which comes up underneath the floorboards of the German front line. “The Germans get a floor?” says Augustus Sebald. “What the fuck?” Lt. Trout shushes him, and motions for you to … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 11
You continue to follow the tunnel. At one point, you hear voices speaking in German directly overhead. “Are we there?” asks Augustus Sebald, nervously. Lt. Trout shakes her head. “I’m not sure where we are. Hold on.” The group of … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 10
Lt. Trout leads you to the tunnel she’s dug. It leads out the back of the late Clothide Renou’s dressing room dugout, forward and down under no-man’s land. “Everyone pick a buddy,” says Lt. Trout, lighting kerosene lanterns and candles. … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 9
Garry’s Mod is a game that allows you to take the assets of other games and reuse them in a sandbox environment. The games it pulls from are a short but solid list – Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, both … Continue reading The Night Thread of Gmod Add-ons
Morning comes, and you line up on the sandbags to see what fresh bullshit the Central Powers have cooked up. The Austrians, it turns out, have a new tank. It’s the size and approximate shape of a steamboat. There are … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 8
In the dark of the night, the Luggage scuttles alone among the trenches. In the distance, explosions bloom, the sound a few seconds behind. The occasional bullet sizzles past overhead. “𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎,” says the Luggage to itself. Then, out … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 7
The explosion at Stalag 69 has started a fire, which the Germans eventually give up on extinguishing. Through your binoculars and rifle scopes, you can see the prison’s last occupant, Young Pigeonpockets Pete, hightail it off to God knows where. … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 6
Pvt. Boris was having, if not a lovely war, then at least a tolerable one. She’d chat with the others for a bit, but no one ever really noticed her. She’d shoot at the Germans for a bit, but they … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 5
As night falls, Dame Augusta Mimsy-Porpington of the Great Snoring Mimsy-Porpingtons tucks her charge into the last hospital bed that isn’t completely blood-soaked. “Rest well, dear,” she says, sipping ether and taking a hit off a rag soaked in gin. “Try … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 4
“You know what would buck up morale?” says Lt. Trout at sundown. “An old-fashioned sing-along.” She runs down to the bunker and comes back with a guitar that has a few bullet holes in it. “Nothing does a heart good … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 3
As the sun sets, you’re called off the front lines. “Supper time!” yells Lt. Esther Trout, banging a spoon on an empty shell casing. “Come ‘n get it!” You all gather around the dinner crater while Lt. Trout regales you … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 2
Around the globe, you hear the call. The war needs you! All the people who actually wanted to fight have been killed, maimed or concussed out of their senses. You board boats, trains, pack animals and zeppelins toward the the … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Day 1
The year is 191X, pronounced “Nineteen Exteen.” The Great War has been raging on for a long, long time. Nobody is quite sure HOW long, but the general consensus is “enough.” Ceaseless years of blood, turmoil, ray gun research, gas … Continue reading Werewolves 85: 191X – Signups
When it premiered five years ago, The Lego Movie was almost startlingly great. Early February is and was a graveyard for movies. It absolutely made sense that something superficial-looking enough to be called “The Lego Movie” would be left there for … Continue reading The Lego Movie 2 Plays the Hits
The biggest gamble of The Lego Movie is the late reveal that it’s all a story being acted out by a kid as he plays with Legos. In order to fully sell the twist, the movie has to pull out of … Continue reading Spoil Sports: The Lego Movie 2
Netflix has finally recaptured the old video store feel of presenting you with finished movies whose existence was completely unknown seconds earlier. To hell with promotion, or even hype. You want to see a movie nobody you know has even heard … Continue reading IO Invites You To Live the Good Life on the Off-World Colonies
I’m rewatching The Twilight Zone on Netflix, and it’s fascinating to see the episodes in chronological order. Something I picked up on was the recurring presence of a newspaper called The Daily Chronicle, which I think first appears in episode 8, “Time … Continue reading The Daily Chronicle Day Thread (Published Daily)
I don’t know why, but it’s funny as hell to me when some extremely normal product tries to luxe itself up. Presenting: Food brands with “king” in their name. Continue reading The Day Thread of Food Kings
Look, people are heavier than air, it was always going to be an uphill battle. Please take a moment to appreciate the brave insanity of our forebears, creators of such mighty aircraft as– The Fokker V.8! Capable of seating 1⅔ … Continue reading Day Thread of the Bad Airplanes
Full disclosure, up front: I believe I am coming down with the flu. This worries me because I just had the flu. I also had the flu shot, back in September. And yet, sometime around noon today, I was overtaken … Continue reading Replicas Is a Stoner Movie from the Twilight Zone
You guys wanted a sex thread, I’ve had this thing in my WordPress drafts for seven months, let’s make a deal. Continue reading The Frasier Sex Thread – January 9, 2019
