You’re in southwestern Indiana when you see the hand-painted sign: Visit Anomaly Hill.
“That could be interesting,” says the Hamburglar, biting into a hamburger with blood on the bun. “They’ll never look for us there.”
“The hamburger thief is correct,” says Mojo Jojo, shouldering his way in between the front seats, currently occupied by Ono Michio and Dorothy Loudon. “It makes the most sense for us to go southwest, which is where Mexico is, but that sign points north, where Mexico is not.”
“Works for michi,” says Ono Michio, hauling the wheel around.
You bounce up a dirt road to a garishly painted cabin whose sign informs you, in all the colors of an Easter egg dye kit, that you can have your picture taken with the Anomaly for $1.
“I don’t see an anomaly,” says one Co-op Brother
“Maybe it’s sleeping,” suggests the other.
Ono stops the car and hops out, followed by the Hamburglar, who motions for the rest of you to stay put. A man with a thumb hooked around either strap on his overalls gets up off a rocking chair on the porch to greet you. He has a corncob pipe and looks like he would answer to “Pappy.”
“Good day to you,” he says, extending a hand to the Hamburglar, “and salutations. I am Hiram Nomally, and I welcome you to my humble site of interest.”
“Oh, uh, hi,” says the Hamburglar, thrown off his game. “I’m, uh, Douglas… Burglar, and this here is my new bride-“
“Henry!” says Ono Michio
“-and those are, uh, our eleven children-“
The velociraptor hisses loudly from inside the van.
“-and we were wondering if we could see your thing.”
There is an excruciating pause while Hiram stares at you.
“You don’t sound anything like I expected,” says Ono Michio.
“Oh!” says Hiram, smiling. “Well, Henry, that’s because I recently availed myself of the opportunity for personal growth. You see, I fought in the Great War, and after Ma died back in ’67, I said to myself, ‘Goodness, shouldn’t I make better use of my remaining years?’ So I went back to college on the G.I. Bill and received a Bachelor’s of Arts in English. Took part in some campus protests as well. Down with the police!”
“Fuck yeah!” says everyone except the undercover cops.
“Now, let me show you the Anomaly.”
You drive the van up to the top of the hill at a walking pace, so Hiram can share the story with you as you go.
“Back in the day, everyone in town told my grandfather, ‘Zebichidiael, you can’t farm a hill this steep.’ And you know what? They were right. So now that I’m retired, I just do the tours. I can show you some pictures of me back in the day when I was growing sideways corn, though. That was most entertaining, or so the memory seems now.
“This used to be normal farmland, the hill notwithstanding, but back in ’55 there was a meteor strike – I have clippings of news reports in the cabin – and that opened up a fissure in the ground. I had the most fiendish time plowing around it.”
You summit the hill and, sure enough, there’s an enormous hole in the ground. It has a velvet rope set up around it. A strange rainbow haze hangs above the hole, distorting the treeline beyond.
“There are a few questions people always ask, so I’ll get through those quickly. Can you go through it? Yes. Back in ’66 there was a man from the government who said he was with something called ’emkultra,’ and he went through in a cherry picker. He couldn’t talk after he came back out, though, so they didn’t try that again. The second question is ‘What’s on the other side,’ and I’m pleased to say that I figured out how to put a camera on a stick, and for the modest price of $2-“
You hear police sirens behind you. The Hamburglar checks the mirrors and sees flashing lights.
“Oh shit, michi,” says Ono Michio, trembling behind the wheel.
“Everybody be cool,” says the Hamburglar, stress-eating fries from a coat pocket.
“Well hey there,” says the voice of Judith Stroan from somewhere behind you. “We’re just lookin’ for a bunch of escaped convicts? Oodles of them are dead now but I think there are 13 left? Lotta paperwork waiting for me when I get home, ya, sure.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” says Hiram, “but the only people have been up here today are Douglas and Henry Burglar and their 11 adorable children.” There’s a pause while he puts it all together in his mind. “Wait.”
Staring straight ahead, Ono Michio puts the pedal to the floor.
Volkswagen Type 2s aren’t known for their takeoff speed, and this one has 13 people in it, but the engine makes a strangled sound and you lurch forward in a cloud of dust.
“This was a mistake,” says Perd Hapley, gripping his microphone with both hands. “I’m Perd Hapley, and I should have stayed in prison.”
“CHAOS!” shouts Dorothy Loudon.
The van is going 20 miles an hour when it thuds through the velvet rope and 25 when it soars off the edge of the rim. You’re plunged into a choking swirl of color, and you feel it tear you apart.
You are everywhere. You are nowhere. You are screaming in a van and also part of a soaring unified consciousness that has always existed and will always exist. Alien stars sparkle above as you fly through a diffracted universe of indescribable monsters.
You begin to grasp the texture of the new reality. Some of you twist across the dimensions. There is violence. First, some police violence-
Dorothy Loudon (Sister Jude) has died. She (they) were the FAX PSYCHIC and a PRISONER.
-and then some beating around the head with a large book:
Lysithea Von Ordelia (Dramus) has died. She (he) was the CROOKED VETERINARIAN and a PRISONER.
Just as suddenly, you’re out the other side. The van is pointed straight up at a clear blue sky, and you don’t realize you’re going up until you start coming back down. The horizon flashes by on the windshield and you crash wheels-down onto the earth.
A few seconds later, a few more items are thrown out behind you: A crooked medkit and, after a pause, a crystal ball and a fax machine.
You are in a desert somewhere. In front of you is a brightly painted shack that says Visit the Vision. A middle-aged woman steps out of it and waves to you.
“Howdy!” she says. “Y’all come to see the Vision?” You all immediately scream, and the van peels out of there in a cloud of red dust.
“Shoot,” says the woman, hurt. “They coulda said hi.”
178 Prisoners 52 Narcs
- 1 Vanilla Narc
- 1 Narc Recruit
1 Special Agent Elvis Presley
- 1 ???
Everybody started the game with the following:
- A role: There are no vanilla townies here. Each of you has a role. In the case of the narcs, these roles are cover stories, including Special Agent Elvis Presley, the narc roleblocker, who succeeded in his efforts to get Nixon to make him an agent of the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs.
- A tool: You found the tools you need to commit the crimes you’re good at.
- A file: You have a manila envelope with someone’s rap sheet in it.
- These correspond to all the players in the game on a 1:1 basis, but the files have no names, so you don’t know who they belong to. All you’ll get is a role description, and it could be a cover story for one of the narcs.
- Files will be randomly assigned, so it’s possible you’ll get your own.
- You may not copy/paste the text you receive in a file, but you are allowed to paraphrase it in your own words.
- Night actions:
- I’m not going to tell you what night actions exist here, but I can say that you should expect normal werewolf roles to be in the mix.
- There isn’t a hard order that night actions occur in. This is to allow as many of them to go through as possible. Roleblocks will always take precedent over the actions of the targeted player, however. Blocker roles can block each other.
- Investigator(s): All town forces and the ??? come back CRIMINAL, all Narc forces come back NARC.
- Players cannot use their night actions (if applicable) on themselves or on the same person two nights running.
- You have the option to vote “No Kill” (or words to that effect). If that option prevails, no one dies at the end of the day.
- A majority vote for one player (or No Kill) will end the day early.
- A tied vote at twilight will result in no one dying.
- You can’t vote for yourself. If you do, I won’t count it.
- The Escape Plan Thread allows players to steer the narrative of the game through popular decision. It does not affect any game mechanics, just the overarching story. Ties here will be resolved by the mod.
- Instant death for the loser. Odds of winning 50%, as selected by RNG. Special conditions may apply; see store for details.
- There can be up to 2 duels per game day. The winner of the first duel can participate in the second.
- The first duel must be finished before the second takes place.
- You can’t duel yourself.
- You can’t duel the mod.
- Do not coerce third parties into dueling each other.
- When players die, their alignment and role will be revealed, as well as their cover story if they have one. This also applies to ???.
- There ARE secret powers in this game, but they can be considered “locked in” at the beginning of the game. Any changes I have to make to the mechanics will be announced publicly.
- Other than the usual daykill and duels, there are no ways to die during the day.
- If you maintain a game-related outside resource (like a spreadsheet or an in-character Tumblr), stop updating it after you’re dead.
- No editing posts.
- No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
- If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer
AprilLKD / Kid on a road trip– The Fishnapper / SPECIAL AGENT ELVIS (NARC RB)
- Beelzebot / Chuck, blue enthusiast
- Colonel Mustard / Finn Edwards
Dramus / Lysithea Von Ordelia– The Crooked Veterinarian / Prisoner
- Goat / Kenny Rogoats
Hohopossum / “Har Har” Harvey Possum– The Crooked Constable / Prisoner
- Hoju / D. B. Cooper
- InnDEEEEED / A velociraptor
Jake / Birdman– The Unlicensed Travel Agent / Prisoner
- Josephus Brown / Philly, Portuguese cat
- MacCrocodile / Big Mac aka the Hamburglar
MarloweSpade / Riddler ’66– The Smuggler / NARC Narrowstrife / Loftus McSnoozley, Dream Criminal– The Telecoroner / Prisoner
- Nate / Perd Hapley
Owen1120 / Bob Dole– The Drug Hoarder / NARC Ralph / Dharma and also Greg– The Haruspex / Prisoner
- Raven and Rose / Ono Michio
- RPC / The Co-op Brothers
- Sagittariuskim / Mojo Jojo
Side Character / Francis– The Odometer Rollbacker / Prisoner Sister Jude / Dorothy Loudon– The Fax Psychic / Prisoner Spooky / “ Mr. Chips”– The Coupon Forger / NARC Wasp / Queen Lenora– The Arsonist / Prisoner
- Dicentra, Mistress of the Dark
- Louie Blue
Day 5 will end Thursday, February 4 at noon EST.