Well, our engineers are confident that we’ve got a good grasp on things now. No system error investigators, jailers, or vigilantes. The Werewolf-O-Matic is running at maximum efficiency, and we finally got that family of squirrels out of there! They had a baby! We named her Ralph Jr.!
There is just one little oopsie we guess we should draw your attention to. For some reason that’s left us all scratching our heads, The Werewolf-O-Matic designated everyone as lovers with everyone else. Sigh. We don’t know what it was thinking with that. Our technicians suspect that it’s because the first iteration of The Werewolf-O-Matic was as a Love-O-Matic novelty matchmaking console. It thinks you’d all make a cute couple! The technicians also assure us that killing someone won’t result in everyone else dying. The Werewolf-O-Matic tried to give you all a shared QT, but that seemed redundant, so we overrode that.
Anyhoo, aside from that little hiccup, things are looking as normal as can be. So let’s take a look at what went down since twilight.
Last night, the Ralphroro Associates gathered around the conference table. One of them brought donuts!
Eric, The New Employee (Canadave) has been removed from the game. He was The Town Investigator! Well played, Eric. We’ll go ahead and automatically deduct the $89.99 subscription fee from your monthly paycheck!
And what’s that, Werewolf-O-Matic? You say one of those system error vig shots is coming through? Well let’s have it!
Vincent Adultman (Lindsay) has been removed from the game. He was The Ralphroro Enterprises District Manager (Investigator Wolf)! We’re proud of Vincent’s work here at Ralphroro Enterprises. He seems to do the work of several smaller employees all on his own!
And, wouldn’t you know it? On top of all that simulated violence, that wily rogue employee once again hacked their way into The Werewolf-O-Matic and ended another player’s free trial.
Dramus, The Serious Werewolf Player (Dramus) has been removed from the game! She was The Jailer! It must’ve been refreshing for a serious Werewolfer such as Dramus to take part in such a standard game!
And with all that mayhem behind us, let’s look forward to an almost absurdly normal Day 4!
13 7 Vanilla Town (So normal!) 1 Jailer (Very normal jailer stuff. Can’t jail themselves.)
1 Medic (Perfectly normal medic. Can heal one player each night.)
1 Investigator (You know what an investigator does. Normal investigator stuff!)
1 Ralphroro Regional Manager (Roleblocker Wolf)
1 Ralphroro District Manager (Investigator Wolf) 2 1 Ralphroro Entry-level Associates (Vanilla Wolves)
1 Disgruntled Ralphroro IT Specialist (Doesn’t answer your emails–so cannot be investigated–and is also the serial killer!)
Oops! All Lovers! (Absolutely no effect on the game.)
Normal Werewolf rules! When there are as many or fewer members of a faction remaining, the other faction wins!
Ties will be resolved using the Werewolf-O-Matic patented tie-breaking formula: (y + x) + ab = k
- y = total number of letters in both/all tied players’ names.
- x = total number of votes for both/all tied players
- a = game day (i.e. “Day 1” = 1; “Day 2” = 2, etc.)
- b = total number of remaining scum
- k = the number of player posts, after the vote thread, when sorted by oldest. The player who posted that post will be killed.
Simple yet effective!
Please note that you will need to make a handful of game-related comments per Day (three to six at least). The Werewolf-O-Matic runs on participation (and plutonium). Failure to participate may lead to your trial being transferred to another person.
NO EDITING OR DELETING for any reason, including typos.
Directly quoting or screenshotting QT is not allowed.
Remember to have fun! This is a game of murder, but it is still just a game.
A final word of caution: This program may be considered a risk. An experiment. Ralphroro Enterprises is not responsible for any disasters that may occur in this game due to “imbalances” or “technical difficulties”. Ralphroro Enterprises reserves the right to make any changes that will result in a more enjoyable game at any time. By signing up for this game you are acknowledging that you have read and understood this word of caution and forfeit your right to pursue legal action against Ralphroro Enterprises. Ralphroro Enterprises hopes that you enjoy this game, and that you embrace it for what it is.
Hello! Thanks for accessing your free trial of The Werewolf-O-Matic! You are Vanilla Town. As this is a totally normal game of Werewolf, your only power is your vote, which you can cast and change at any time during the day.
If you have any questions about the Werewolf-O-Matic or your trial game, please don’t hesitate to contact our J.D. Power Award-nominated Help Desk, who are patiently standing by right here in your QT.
We’re sure you’re going to love your trial of the Werewolf-O-Matic, and we know that you’ll want to register your trial for the low price of $89.99 per month. But go ahead and enjoy your utterly normal trial game of Werewolf!
- Marlowe (Hank Hill)
April (Grung)Vanilla Wolf
- hoho (hoho Snakeytail)
Cop (Troy McClure)Vanilla Town Jude (Mae West)Vanilla Town
- Owen (William Carlos Williams)
Lindsay (Vincent Adultman)Investigator Wolf Kim (Zim)Vanilla Town Mac (Mac, from the Temp Agency)Vanilla Town Dramus (Dramus, Serious Werewolf Player)Town Jailer
- Goat (Beauregoat, the Janitor)
- raven (Jane, the Intern)
- Nate (The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe)
- Thoughts (Frustrated Parent)
- Lamb (Oscar Martinez)
- Jake (Wonder Woman)
- Tiff (Tess McGill)
Beelzebot (WAP (but not that WAP))Vanilla Town
- Stoneheart (Bibidoof)
Warrior (Electrified Warrior Machine)Vanilla Town Canadave (Eric, the New Employee)Town Investigator
You have until Monday, 5:00 PM Central to decide who to eliminate.