Look. At Ralphroro Enterprises we believe that the only way to learn from failures is to fail. And we are industry leaders in failure! Everyone please check your QTs to see exactly how we’ve screwed up!
So that’s why we’re excited to announce that The Werewolf-O-Matic has once again made a bit of an oopsie. This time it has randomly assigned vigilante roles across all players and Ralphroro Enterprises Associates. These vigilantes are only supposed to show up in Werewolf-O-Matic Premium subscriptions, so these vigilantes are a bit more problematic than usual vigilantes. These vig shots have a 60% chance of functioning correctly, and a 40% chance of functioning . . . incorrectly.
But the extra-jailer glitch has been solved, so that’s good! Right?
So with that unpleasant bit of abnormality out of the way, let’s look at what happened last night. The Ralphroro Associate wolves made their choice. What did they settle on, Werewolf-O-Matic?
Wario? Was someone RPing as Wario? Oh. Warrior! Looks like Electrified Warrior Machine’s (Warrior’s) free trial has come to an end. It/he was Vanilla Town. We’d just like Mr. Warrior Machine to know that we do accept bitcoin for Werewolf-O-Matic subscriptions if that makes things easier!
And that rascally hacker has once again infiltrated The Werewolf-O-Matic’s system to remove another player from the game.
Sigh. Mac. It’s Mac, Werewolf-O-Matic. Not Max. Mac From The Temp Agency (Mac) has been removed. He was also Vanilla Town. Please be sure to clear any containers out of the breakroom fridge before you go, Mac. Security will see you out.
And so Day 3 begins, and I’m sure we can all look forward to normal Werewolfing from here on out!
13 8 Vanilla Town (So normal!)
1 Jailer (Very normal jailer stuff. Can’t jail themselves.)
1 Medic (Perfectly normal medic. Can heal one player each night.)
1 Investigator (You know what an investigator does. Normal investigator stuff!)
1 Ralphroro Regional Manager (Roleblocker Wolf)
1 Ralphroro District Manager (Investigator Wolf)
2 1 Ralphroro Entry-level Associates (Vanilla Wolves)
1 Disgruntled Ralphroro IT Specialist (Doesn’t answer your emails–so cannot be investigated–and is also the serial killer!)
?? System Error Vigilantes (Could be anyone. Once again, we apologize for these unforeseen roles. 60% accuracy rate.)
Normal Werewolf rules! When there are as many or fewer members of a faction remaining, the other faction wins!
Ties will be resolved using the Werewolf-O-Matic patented tie-breaking formula: (y + x) + ab = k
- y = total number of letters in both/all tied players’ names.
- x = total number of votes for both/all tied players
- a = game day (i.e. “Day 1” = 1; “Day 2” = 2, etc.)
- b = total number of remaining scum
- k = the number of player posts, after the vote thread, when sorted by oldest. The player who posted that post will be killed.
Simple yet effective!
Please note that you will need to make a handful of game-related comments per Day (three to six at least). The Werewolf-O-Matic runs on participation (and plutonium). Failure to participate may lead to your trial being transferred to another person.
NO EDITING OR DELETING for any reason, including typos.
Directly quoting or screenshotting QT is not allowed.
Remember to have fun! This is a game of murder, but it is still just a game.
A final word of caution: This program may be considered a risk. An experiment. Ralphroro Enterprises is not responsible for any disasters that may occur in this game due to “imbalances” or “technical difficulties”. Ralphroro Enterprises reserves the right to make any changes that will result in a more enjoyable game at any time. By signing up for this game you are acknowledging that you have read and understood this word of caution and forfeit your right to pursue legal action against Ralphroro Enterprises. Ralphroro Enterprises hopes that you enjoy this game, and that you embrace it for what it is.
Hello! Thanks for accessing your free trial of The Werewolf-O-Matic! You are Vanilla Town. As this is a totally normal game of Werewolf, your only power is your vote, which you can cast and change at any time during the day.
If you have any questions about the Werewolf-O-Matic or your trial game, please don’t hesitate to contact our J.D. Power Award-nominated Help Desk, who are patiently standing by right here in your QT.
We’re sure you’re going to love your trial of the Werewolf-O-Matic, and we know that you’ll want to register your trial for the low price of $89.99 per month. But go ahead and enjoy your utterly normal trial game of Werewolf!
- Marlowe (Hank Hill)
April (Grung)Vanilla Wolf
- hoho (hoho Snakeytail)
Cop (Troy McClure)Vanilla Town
- Jude (Mae West)
- Owen (William Carlos Williams)
- Lindsay (Vincent Adultman)
Kim (Zim)Vanilla Town Mac (Mac, from the Temp Agency)Vanilla Town
- Dramus (Dramus, Serious Werewolf Player)
- Goat (Beauregoat, the Janitor)
- raven (Jane, the Intern)
- Nate (The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe)
- Thoughts (Frustrated Parent)
- Lamb (Oscar Martinez)
- Jake (Wonder Woman)
- Tiff (Tess McGill)
Beelzebot (WAP (but not that WAP))Vanilla Town
- Stoneheart (Bibidoof)
Warrior (Electrified Warrior Machine)Vanilla Town
- Canadave (Eric, the New Employee)
You have until Saturday, 11:00 AM Central to decide who to eliminate.