Werewolf 152: Seinfeld – Day Two

At the J. Peterman offices, Elaine was throwing a bash to reward her people. She stood and clinked her champagne glass.

“I want to make a toast,” she said. “Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to hell! All right, who’s dancing? You want me to get it started? I’ll get it started. Woooo!”

Everyone watched in horror as Elaine danced with the little kicks and the thumbs. 

Unfortunately for Kitty Witless, who was struggling with the lid of a thermos of gin she had snuck into the party, she wasn’t paying attention when one of the kicks conked her on the noggin.

EMMELEMM (Kitty Witless) has died. She was KRAMER (Role Backup).

J. Peterman used the melee to sneak away. “Kudos, Elaine, on a job … done” he muttered under his breath.

When Peterman exited the building, his accomplice was waiting.

“This is the Real Deal With Bill McNeal. I’m your host, Bill McNeal.”

“Can it, McNeal,” Peterman said. “You’re not on the air right now. I’m ready for a nosh. Ooo, how about Mendy’s?”

As they walked towards midtown, they spotted a bedraggled possum in a clown outfit dragging itself down the filthy sidewalk.

“Reminds me of the plague rodents I fought in Kyrgyzstan,” said Peterman. “Those things could chew your leg off.”

They lifted the clown possum by its tail.

“Eeeeeeeey!” Kibbles screamed. “What’re you yutzes doing?”

Then they dropped him in an open manhole.

HOHO (Kibbles the Clown) has died. He was YADDA YADDA YADDA (Vanilla Town).

“Oh hey,” McNeal said, pulling a small metal fish out of his pocket. “Look what I found attached to someone’s car in the Hamptons. Maybe you can sell these in your catalog?” 

“You stole my Jesus fish!” bellowed a large man in an 8-ball jacket who happened to be wandering by for plot-related reasons. Terrified, McNeal turned and ran while the man gave chase.

Unfortunately, McNeal’s socks were too loose, so he ended up tripping and falling in front of a speeding taxi.

Satisfied, Puddy stood over the corpse of the news radio anchor and said, “Feels like an Arby’s night.”

WASP (Bill McNeal) has died. She was MR. PITT (Vanilla Wolf).

“Poor Bill,” J. Peterman said, “He should have been wearing his Italian Captoe Oxfords. Sophisticated yet different. Rich dark brown calfskin leather. Matching leather vent. Men’s whole and half sizes 7 through 13. Price: $135.00.”

Peterman continued to Mendy’s and sat at a table. “I’ll have the soup,” he told the young waiter.

“Soup is not a meal.” Peterman turned towards the menacing voice from behind him. He saw a tall man wearing a clown suit.

“Another clown?” Peterman said, confused.

“You think that brand-new Armani suit can fool me?” the clown said. “I know who you really are. Now I’m gonna put the kibosh on you.”

RALPH (J. Peterman) has died. He was KENNY BANIA (Mystery Wolf Role).


Back at the coffee shop, Jerry was eating with a miserable George.

“My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be,” said George. “Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat, it’s all been wrong.”

“Well here’s your chance to try the opposite,” said Jerry. “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”

Daily Event: The Opposite

Today only, the player with the LEAST number of votes is day-killed. 

  • You cannot vote for yourself or the mod. If you vote, it must be for another living player.
  • Ties are RNG among the tied players. 
  • If there are no votes at Twilight, nobody dies.

Players

Adam Farrar // Denim Vest
Book Lover // Keith Hernandez
Cop on the Edge-ish // Cop on the Edge-ish
Hayes // Grover
Indy // Ross Geller
Jake // Hans Sprungfeld
Jude // Sasha Velour
Lindsay // Willow Rosenberg
Louie // Lance Reddick from The Wire or Bosch or Fringe or …
MacCrocodile // Frank Costanza
Marlowe // George Steinbrenner
Nate // Orville Peck
Sic humor // Smoove 
Side Character // Patrick Stickles
Warrior // Vince Russo

Del Boca Vista

April // Michael (VANILLA TOWN)
Emmelemm // Kitty Witless (KRAMER)
Hoho // Kibbles the Clown (VANILLA TOWN)
Ralph // J. Peterman (KENNY BANIA – WOLF)
Wasp // Bill McNeal (MR. PITT – WOLF)

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Roles

11 Town

Wins the game when the wolves and SK are sent to Del Boca Vista (the graveyard).

JERRY SEINFELD – Jerry is an observational comedian. Each night he “observes” a player to learn their alignment. Jerry can detect the SK and the wolves (except Uncle Leo). 

GEORGE COSTANZA – The first time George dies, he shows back up in the game the next day as if it never happened.

COSMO KRAMER – Role backup.
-If Crazy Joe Davola dies before the start of Day 3, Kramer becomes the new Serial Killer.
-If Kramer and Crazy Joe Davola both survive until Day 3, Kramer then becomes the Jailer.

ELAINE BENES – Her dancing is so awful it can kill. Once during the game, Elaine can “little kick” another player to the graveyard. If Elaine is blocked, the shot is not spent. Also, Elaine is Town Lovers with …

DAVID PUDDY – Elaine and Puddy share a QT. They will randomly break up and get back together throughout the game. They will be notified in their QT by the mod when they are broken up or not. If Elaine or Puddy dies while they are together, they both die. If one of them dies while they are broken up, the other survives. Puddy has one optional vig kill they can use as a night action.

One ??? Mystery Town Role

YADDA YADDA YADDA – Vanilla Town

3 Wolves

Wins the game when there is no SK and the number of wolf players equals the number of Town players.

NEWMAN – Role blocker. Cannot block the same player on consecutive nights.

UNCLE LEO – Undetectable wolf. Hello!

KENNY BANIA (Mystery Wolf Role) – Each night, target up to two players. The chosen players must tell a terrible, hacky joke in the thread the next day before Twilight.

MR. PITT – Eats his Snickers bars with a knife and fork. Otherwise, a vanilla wolf.

SHRINKAGE WOLF – Vanilla wolf.

1 Serial Killer

Wins by being the last clown (player) standing.

CRAZY JOE DAVOLA – Kills one player per night. If Crazy Joe Davola kills Jerry, he immediately gets an additional kill the same night.

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Rules

No quoting or screencapping from QTs. Do not ask other players about their QTs in an attempt to figure out what role they have.

You cannot edit any of your posts. The mod will know!

Wolf and SK night kill actions are mandatory. Vig kills are optional.

A tie vote at Twilight results in RNG amongst the tied players.

Participation: You must make a minimum of three posts per day to avoid being replaced.

Be nice: Attack arguments, not people.

Night Action Order of Operations: Blocking > jailing > investigation > SK kill > optional Vig kill > Wolf kill.

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Twilight is at 4pm PST (7pm EST) on Monday, May 10.