Werewolves 125: A Sequence of Regrettable Occurrences Day 2

Surprisingly, no one seems to notice that you fired a missile into the sky.

“I am the night,” says LEGO Batman.

“No, I am the night,” says Regular Batman.

You go back inside and finish the night’s research with Juniper. Proudly examining all the new lengths of string on her corkboard, she allows you to sleep just as sky starts to brighten in the east. Or, you try to sleep, at least. In the pre-dawn twilight, you hear a sudden crash, as though someone suplexed an orphan through a window.

Donalbain has died. He was a GENERIC ORPHAN (Vanilla Town).

Too tired to pursue the implications of this, you drowse on the edge of sleep for a few minutes. In the half-dream, you see a scuffle, and then there’s a rumble and a screech of tires outside, like a moving van peeling out really quick.

Dr. Jan Itor (InnDEEEEED) has died. He was a GENERIC ORPHAN (Vanilla Town).

Juniper wakes you up 30 minutes later for a bracing breakfast of Tang and freeze-dried waffles.

“Weren’t there more of you?”

“Am I really awake right now?” says Pippi, blearily waving a hand in front of her face.

“Connecting,” says Tobias Morpheus (not a bot).

“I’m going to try calling the Bureau,” says Juniper uneasily. “Maybe they took those two back for refurbishing.” She pulls out an ancient cell phone. “Or maybe Big Snake got them.”

If you’ve ever been a small, helpless child in a big world full of indifferent adults, it may seem that those adults exist only to pointedly ignore your pleas for help. That isn’t so. Some of us want to help you, and have interests apart from ignoring your please for help. For instance, in my spare time, I am a movie critic. Before all the theaters closed, I was very much looking forward to a film called Zombies in the Snow.

“I’m sorry,” says Juniper, glumly sitting down on an office chair with no back. “I let you kids down.”

“That’s okay, lady,” says the Garry the opossum, digging through her trash. “We’ve been let down before.”

You hear minivan wheels outside, accompanied by Ursula’s boyfriend’s band’s demo tape. There’s a fast clatter of heels on concrete, and then a quick rap on the door. Juniper sighs and unlocks all the dead bolts.

“I came as fast as I could!” says Ursula. She does a quick count. “Oh no.”

“Ice Bear senses something is wrong,” says Ice Bear. “Is this related to the missing orphans?”

“Yes,” says Ursula, sweating a little. “They’ve gone. To a farm.”

“A farm?” says Penelope Pumberly, who has always dreamt of escaping the drear of the city. “Where?”

“Upstate,” says Ursula. She glares at Juniper. “Your services are no longer needed. Come, children. We should get out of here.”

The last you see of Juniper, she’s standing in the darkened doorway of the observatory. You drift off to sleep in the minivan, dreaming of a vast shape in the night sky, moving behind the stars. It opens an eye the size of the moon, and that eye is the one you saw tattooed on Juniper’s ankle.

You awaken to the sound of an enormous bell ringing.

“…Over to Orphan Receipts, and then you have to file just one with Unified Control,” Ursula says into a cellular phone. “‘A billion’? No, it’s only a dozen forms, tops. This is so orphans don’t get lost, Marin. Come on, nobody wants to be served a pink slip.”

Ringing again. You’re all definitely awake now. Ursula notices this and makes some frantic pantomime indicating she’s almost done with the call.

“I’m hanging up now, Marin. Goodbye. Goodbye, Marin.” She clicks the phone off and sighs performatively. “Did you all sleep well?”

“I dreamed of blood,” says The Good Son.

“That’s nice, kiddo. C’mon! Let’s see your new home.”

You clamber out of the minivan, which you discover is parked at the base of a clock tower that has just struck two.

“I don’t wanna see my new home,” says Euphemia Whimsy, whining melodically. “We just got out of our last home.”

“We here at BOO strive to keep the time you are orphaned to a minimum,” says Ursula, a touch reproachfully. “You were only orphaned for 41 minutes this time.” She waves grandly to the clock tower. “Meet your new parents, whom I phoned on the way over!”

A door opens at the bottom of the clock tower, and out walks a very old man with an anodized aluminum cane and a matching parrot.

“Are you the orphans?” he asks, looking you over. “I’m Casper, Regional Keeper of time.”

The parrot whistles. “Orphans!”

Casper squints at Urusula. “Aren’t you a little old to be an orphan?”

“You’re never too old to be an orphan,” she says indignantly.

“I made a movie where Billy Crystal is the voice of fire,” says Hayao Miyazaki.

Casper shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

“Awwk,” says the parrot. “Good enough.”

“There is no way this gets old,” says LEGO Batman.

You follow them into the cool interior of the clock tower, where vast gears clunk soothingly in the darkness above.

“You said ‘parents,'” says Pippi Longstocking. “Who is the other one.”

“Casper said he lived with Emily,” says ursula, in the light of the kerosene lamp Casper is carrying. “Isn’t that right, Casper?”

“I’m Emily,” squawks the parrot.

“Shoot,” says Ursula. “Really?”

“Awwk! Yes.”

“Oh no. And I filled out all those forms in triplicate, too.” She sighs again, then forces a smile. “Alright, children. Emily is legally your co-guardian, so please treat her with all the same courtesy you use for Casper.”

“That’s not necessary,” says Casper, arriving at a door. There’s an eye painted on it, but you only get a glimpse of it in the lamplight before he kicks the door open. “We’re highly informal here.” You step into a room full of cogs. “Any of you kids ever shape a gear before?”


  1. E-Dog – Tobias Morpheus (not a bot)
  2. Tobias Morpheus – E-Dog (not a bot) Vanilla Orphan
  3. Mr. I’m My Own Grandpa – Batman
  4. Side Character – Ice Bear
  5. Mayelbridwen – Is Twite
  6. Sister Jude the Obscure
  7. Hohopossum – Gary, trash aficionado
  8. ThoughtsThoughtsThoughts – Euphemia Whimsy
  9. Colonel Mustard
  10. Malthusc – Maggie Price, Gourmet Detective
  11. Nate the Lesser – Frodo Baggins
  12. Louie Blue – Romulus
  13. Cop on the Edge-ish – Finn
  14. DW – Hayao Miyazaki
  15. Lord Stoneheart – Protagonist of Final Fantasy III
  16. The Hayes Code – Penelope Pumberly
  17. Lamb Dance – David Copperfield
  18. InnDEEEEED – Dr. Jan Itor Vanilla Orphan
  19. Lindsay – Little Lord Wolfington
  20. Josephus – The Good Son
  21. Donalbain Vanilla Orphan
  22. April LKD – LEGO Batman
  23. Sic – Seto Kaiba
  24. Emm (replacing Jake) – Pippi Longstocking


  • 18 Orphans
    • 1 Inventor (Special role – see below)
    • 1 Bibliophile (Investigator)
    • 15 Generic Orphans (Vanilla Town)
    • 1 Premium Orphan (Functionally identical to Vanilla Town, but somehow intrinsically better than the rest of you)
  • 1 Adult Carmelita Spats, Orphan Hater (Serial Killer)
  • 5 Rogue VFD Agents (Wolves)
    • 1 Rogue VFD Roleblocker
    • 4 Generic Rogue VFD Agents

The Inventor crafts single-shot powers each night in their QT. They can only make one a night, and will have the following list to choose from:

  • 1 vigilante kill
  • 2 doctor protections (prevents incoming damage)
  • 1 jailer protection (prevents incoming damage AND night actions, if any)
  • 2 roleblocks
  • 1 investigation (will reveal both alignment and role)

Each night, the Inventor will announce their intended power (i.e., vigilante) and, using only materials that could plausibly be found in the day’s setting (i.e., a carnival midway) they will attempt to invent something that could do the job (i.e., “I will spin this cotton candy into a rope and strangle [other player] with it.”)

The arbiter of success in this matter will be Owenthrop J. Studepackard, Arch-Director of Recursive Arbitration. The Inventor will get up to three chances per night to make the desired item type. If Mr. Studepackard finds all three attempts too unlikely to succeed (or using ingredients unlikely to be available in your current location), the Inventor fails for the night, and they lose their chance to craft that particular power. (Note: For powers that can be crafted twice, this only eliminates one, not both).

Inventions must be used the night they are crafted. They cannot be given away or held back. The Inventor can use the items they craft on themselves, if they wish.

The Bibliophile works as an investigator, using the things they learn in books to assess other people’s intentions. Each night, the Bibliophile can target one person for study. If the investigation isn’t blocked, the Bibliophile will learn the target’s alignment.

On first investigation, targets will either come up GOOD (Orphans) or BAD (VFD agents and Carmelita Spats). If the Bibliophile wishes to investigate that person again, they will also learn the target’s role (or lack thereof).

The Premium Orphan has no special powers, but is slightly more pleasant to look at and talk to than the rest of you are.

Rules and Mechanics

  • Win conditions:
    • The wolves win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left (if the SK is dead), or outnumber the non-wolf players (even if the SK is still alive).
    • Town wins when all the wolves and the serial killer are defeated.
    • The serial killer wins when it comes down to just them and one other person.
    • A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and SK will result in a special ending.
  • Night actions:
    • Rough order of operations: Roleblocks, then misc. actions, then kills.
    • Investigations: Orphans come back GOOD, VFD agents and Carmelita Spats come back BAD.
    • The medic cannot medic themselves or the same person two nights running.
  • Voting:
    • You have the option to vote “No Kill” (or words to that effect). If that option prevails, no one dies at the end of the day.
    • A majority vote for one player (or No Kill) will end the day early.
    • A tied vote at twilight will result in no one dying, unless Owen and Spooky decide they want to do the RNG thing instead. Try it and find out!
  • If you maintain a game-related outside resource (like a spreadsheet or an in-character Tumblr), stop updating it after you’re dead.
  • No editing posts.
  • No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
  • If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and we will answer publicly here.

Cryptography, Codes and Puzzles: Each day, Robin WILL place a secret message somewhere in the header. If you feel up to the challenge, decipher it and post in the answer in your QT. Winners will be chosen randomly from those who answer correctly. Those who share QTs are allowed to work on the puzzles together, but must submit the solutions in their private QTs in order to qualify.

Only post the answer in your QT; do not make the solution public. If you post the answer publicly, you will be disqualified from that day’s puzzle and for two subsequent days. It is acceptable to reveal the answer on any subsequent day, however. Not after twilight on the day of the puzzle, the next day. Posting the answer after twilight will result in the ban described above.

There will usually – but not always – be one winner for each puzzle. Prizes include night actions such as, but not limited to, the power of life and death. None of the prizes will contain an eavesdropping power, however, and none will impair a player’s ability to communicate.

And remember: Have fun!


Twilight will be at 5 pm on Saturday, June 20th. This time, the date’s correct.