Tournament of Ill-Advised Marriage

I’ve been trapped in this apartment for weeks. Time has no meaning. My previous life is but a fleeting dream.

Fuck it. Time to get married.

In the below comment thread, nominate who I should marry. You can nominate a fictional character. You can nominate an object. You can nominate an abstract concept.


Don’t make this sexual. This is about true love and romance, not base sexual desires. A platonic marriage, if you will.

Do not nominate any Avocado commenters. This is already weird as fuck without that added layer of awkwardness.

Nominates end probably tomorrow morning or whatever. I’ll seed the entries based on how many upvotes they get.

Nominate as many candidates as you like.

Pictures help.