Veronica-8791 is tired. Liberating people from a prison bus and then flying an escape plane is hard. She’s trying to get her head to stop swimming so she can fix this generator. If she can fix the generator, she’ll know where to drop you, and if she can take care of that, maybe – MAYBE – the resistance will let her go home. Home, to an area of distorted reality in the Alaskan interior, where time moves differently and nothing is as it seems and everything is simpler.
This carburetor is all choked up with gunk, eww.
The rest of you wander the airport. The place is deathly quiet; the biosphere is collapsing as the ice sheets move south. All the local Florida species are dead or dying.
“Crikey,” Crocodile Dundee II remarks to his companion, as they wade through the tall grass in search of life. “This is awful. There won’t be nothing left ‘ere soon.”
“That’s dreadful,” says Joanna Lannister XIII glumly. “It’s terrible, being the last of a great and noble lineage, with no one left to mate with.”
Dundee cocks an eyebrow. “Er – sure, mate. Sure.” He claps her on the shoulder. “Got to ‘ave words with the dunny, back soon.”
Left with her own thoughts, Joanna wishes again that she didn’t have the burden of being the last Lannister. A few seconds later, a fire extinguisher comes down on her head, and it’s not a problem anymore.
Joanna Lannister XIII (Snugglewumps) has died. She was a PARTISAN (vanilla town).
Inside the airport, as Veronica manages to free up the generator’s butterfly valve, Arsene Lupin, gentleman thief, leads a posse to the unclaimed baggage area.
“One’s relationship with a suitcase must not be adversarial,” he says, deftly picking a lock. “You want the suitcase open. The suitcase wants to be open. You have common interests.” He pops the demonstration specimen open with a flourish, revealing several moldy suits and a collectable plastic beer stein from Key West. “These items could easily fetch over $5 on the open market.”
The Demoman shrugs and shoots a nearby suitcase with eight sticky bombs. It blows up so hard part of the ceiling comes down.
“CHEERS, MATE,” yells Demo through the dust cloud.
“Well,” says Lupin, coughing, “I suppose that’s one way to-”
He pauses as shadows steal up on him in the plaster haze. He doesn’t see their faces as they quickly dispatch him with their multitools. Lupin collapses onto the suitcase he picked, his blood running onto the suits and the plastic beer stein.
Arsene Lupin (DW) has died. He was a PARTISAN (vanilla town).
“Calm the fuck down over there!” yells Veronica in exasperation.
A scene from a palace: Adelaida, Queen of the Warm Worlds, sits atop her platinum throne and listens with disinterest to her most loyal sorcerer.
“My liege,” says Harry Hole, kneeling low on the floor of polished granite. “I have most important news, but I must get through it quickly, because I need to pick up my girlfriend’s son from hockey practice.”
“Alright,” says Adelaida, putting down her copy of Anne of Green Gables. “Get it over with.”
“I have reason to believe we have located the time machine.”
“What, really?” She remembers she rules two and a half planets. “I mean: Excellent. Do go on.” She steeples her fingers for effect and pretends not to notice when she knocks the book off the armrest.
“The prototype Searsgate was constructed in the SARPA facility in Rochester, New York. But…” – he hesitates, then checks his watch and takes a deep breath – “it was in a secret underground bunker and we’re not quite sure where the bunker is so I’m thinking we’re just gonna dig up all of Rochester okay thanks bye.” He sprints out of the room.
“HOW MANY GIRLFRIENDS WITH HOCKEY-PLAYING KIDS HAVE YOU DATED?” Adelaida yells after him, but he’s through the massy oaken doors and gone. She’s left alone with her palace guard and the wolf-like thing next to her chair.
It wags hopefully as she looks at it and sighs.
“Hard to find good help, eh?” She looks up and claps her hands twice. “ELIAS!”
A MOSP, hull serial number 0000000001, walks through the doors. It’s little more than welded steel and hydraulic actuators, and each footfall is like someone dropping a kettle bell. The face inside the helmet looks a little like Carl Sagan, if Carl Sagan were evil and also tired.
“Queen Adelaida, thank you.”
“I miss being a ghost, Ada.”
That gives her pause. “Really?”
“I could move around much easier. It wasn’t nice, exactly, but it was better than this.”
“Oh. Well.” Composure returns with force. “Complete this next task well, and you shall be rewarded with the newest, lightest MOSP design! None shall be so fleet of foot as you!” She scooches upright in the throne. “I need you to dig up Rochester, New York.”
Elias blinks. “What, all of it?”
“The whole thing, yes.”
“Do you know how many bodies I’ll have to thaw to-”
“JUST DO IT!”
After he’s gone, she has to do breathing exercises until she’s calm enough to go back to her book.
At last, Veronica has the generator running again, although it’s making a clicking sound she doesn’t like. She shoos all of you into the room with the monitors, checks her watch, and flips a switch. The screens light up with a collection of faces.
-“everybody hear me okay?” says an elderly woman on the central monitor. “Frostine, you’ve muted yourself. Click the little red microphone icon-”
“I’m here!” shouts Veronica. “Veronica-8791, reporting in! We had problems, but I fixed them.”
The people you’re talking to are an odd bunch – one of them is a MOSP; another – a man with an eyepatch – has turned on background filtering so it looks like he’s standing in front of an aurora.
“Looks like someone didn’t want to clean his room,” whispers PTA Sharon.
“I heard that,” says the man.
“I am Wendy Hovnatanian,” says the elderly woman, lacing her fingers together. “I lead the resistance. Welcome to 2063.”
“I’m Frostine Flother!” says a peppy little woman with pointy ears. “I work with Jack Frost (Jack Frost!) at the North Pole!” Her eyes narrow. “Things are stable, for now.”
“Frostine, we’re not doing full introductions right n-”
“Brigitte LaFleur,” says the black woman with close-cut hair you spoke to earlier. “We’ve met. Weren’t there more of you?”
“Veronica-7071,” says a middle-aged woman. She takes a drag on her vape, and you realize she looks exactly like the Veronica you know, except 20 years older. “How’s life on the outside, 8791?”
Your Veronica winces. “Not great.”
“Arthur Wimbiscus Sloane!” says the MOSP. You can just make out its hull number, 0000000015. “Er, what year did you say this was?”
“I LOVE YOUR WORK,” shouts Face.
“I am Dad,” says a man wearing an argyle sweater. “I am a robot, hello.” Gort and Caesarbot wave. “After serving in the Luso-Canadian war, I was sent to the off-world colony of Vestaville, where I was repurposed as a greeter. When I was reset to my factory defaults, I went on an unchecked killing spree. This was later judged useful, and I was returned to Earth with a crew of scientists who had been to Iadolanth.”
“They weren’t really scientists,” says Wendy. “I helmed the back half of that, remember? They were more like… well-meaning idiots.” She coughs. “Anyway-”
“I’m Frank,” says the man with the eyepatch.
“Not now.” Wendy rubs her temples. “Look, new people. I’m sorry to do all of this to you, but some intel just came in, and we need to throw people at a problem. A sacrifice. Is everyone okay with a sacrifice?”
“Aye,” says the Demoman.
“Sure,” says Nolan Austin.
“What kind of sacrifice?” asks Kitty Witless
“I need you to go undercover at a hidden Sears research base. I just learned the Iadolantheans are digging up a whole city to find it. To get in, you’ll have to be refrozen and then thawed again, as part of their human work crew. Are you okay with that?”
You look at each other nervously.
“Why did I have to be a power slave?” asks the Powerslave. The skinny white woman next to him pats his shoulder comfortingly.
“Let it be.”
The Burger King nods solemnly.
“Thank you,” says Wendy. “I’ll be in touch again soon.”
All of the monitors blink out, except Frank’s. It takes him a minute of cursing quietly to find the disconnect button, and by then Veronica is walking up to you with a backpack sprayer.
“Just try to stand up straight,” she says, working the handle that pressurizes the tank. “It’ll make you all easier to stack in the plane.”
You close your eyes, press your arms to your sides, and feel the coldness wash over you again. The last thing you hear is Princent Vice’s voice, cackling in the dark aether.
“We’re going to SEARS, are we? Did you know I once helped them pick out a line of tasteful prints for the home? But that was long ago, of course. So long that I can’t remember: What does SEARS stand for?”
Today’s Event: Make an acrostic for the word SEARS. You may submit multiple entries (all in your QT, please), and the best one will win today’s item.
Day 5 will end Sunday, April 5, at 8 p.m. EST.
- April LKD – Face
- E-Dog – The Demoman from Team Fortress 2
- Emmelemm – Kitty Witless
- Flubba Gunto – Caesarbot 3000
- Goat – Gort 5.0
- Hohopossum – Tiny Tim and Astral Howeird Possum
- InnDEEEEED – William Dyer, Antarctic explorer
- Jake (#2, replacing Annanomally) – Crocodile Dundee II
- Jon Hamm’s John Ham – Nolan Austin, dentist in Sherman Oaks
- Lord Stoneheart – Powerslave
- Owen1120 – The Burger King
- Sic Humor – Montgomery Burns
- Side Character – Chris Kirkman
- Spiny Creature – Crimes, clone of Grimes
- Spookyfriend – Sharon Lastname, PTA President
- Tiff Aching – Living embodiment of “Let It Be”
- BannerThief – Harley Quinn / Partisan
- Cop on the Edge-ish – L.Q. “Sonny” Clemonds / RADIO OPERATOR (Investigator, 100% accuracy)
- DW – Arsene Lupin, gentleman thief / Partisan
- Grumproro – Betty Grof / HARUSPEX (Vigilante)
- The Hayes Code – Nora, from Sanctuary Hills / Partisan
- Jake (#1) – Mick “Crocodile” Dundee / Partisan
- Lamb Dance – Padparadscha / Partisan
- Louie Blue – Hieronymus Karl Friedrich, von Münchhausen, known to many as the Baron von Münchhausen / Partisan
- Mayelbridwen – Limited Edition Balloon Lady, leader of the Playmobil / IADOLANTHEAN
- Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather – Zap Rowsdower / IADOLANTHEAN
- Mr. Glitch / Partisan
- MSD – Robo R66-Y / Partisan
- Ralph – Steve Harvey / Partisan
- Robert Post’s Child – Captain Video / Partisan
- Sister Jude the Obscure – Mary Pickford / Partisan
- Snugglewumps – Joanna Lannister XIII / Partisan
- Tyrone –
Chara8-bit Steve from Blue’s Clues / FREEZER BURN VICTIM (1st Serial Killer)
- Wasp – Wasp / Carol / Big Jim / Count Dorkula / Zaxaforian Candulor (working together) / Partisan
- Zecko – Dennis Reynolds / Partisan
- Tobias Morpheus
- Lovely Bones
- 12 Partisans (Town)
249 Vanilla Partisans 1 Radio Operator (Investigator w/ 100% accuracy)
- 1 EviSync Operator (Investigator w/ 66.7% accuracy)
- 1 Medic
1 Haruspex (Town Vigilante)
- 5 Iadolanthean Spies (Wolves)
64 Iadolantheans (Vanilla Wolves)
- 1 Iadolanthean Hierophage (Wolf Roleblocker)
1 Freezer-Burn Victim (Serial Killer)
- 1 Adelaida’s Thrall (Replacement Serial Killer)
Vanilla town message: Welcome Manitoba Cryonics test subject! You will be a PARTISAN (vanilla town) once you’re thawed out in the future, but shh, spoilers. Your only regular power is your vote, although you may also be awarded prizes from the catering truck.
- Each day will feature a day-long Event, which is optional. A prompt will be given in each day’s header, and participating players are to respond in their QTs.
- Do not publicize your Event responses (until the game is over; then it’s okay).
- The winner will be chosen by NPC Princent Vice, the Catering Truck proprietor, which is to say, the mod. I will endeavor to be impartial.
- Do not discourage other players from participating in Events. I want everyone to participate if they want to.
- Win conditions:
- The wolves win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left (if the SK is dead), or outnumber the non-wolf players (even if the SK is still alive).
- Town wins when all the wolves and the serial killer are defeated.
- The serial killer wins when it comes down to just them and one other person.
- A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and SK will result in a special ending.
- Night actions:
- There isn’t a hard order that night actions occur in. This is to allow as many of them to go through as possible. Roleblocks will always take precedent over the actions of the targeted player, however. If the wolf roleblocker targets the medic, the medic will NOT be able to doctor their target.
- Operators (cops): All town forces and the SK come back HUMAN, all Iadolanthean forces come back NOT HUMAN. The Radio Operator will always get a true result; the EviSync Operator will get the truth two-thirds of the time.
- The medic cannot medic themselves or the same person two nights running.
- Day kill thread:
- You have the option to vote “No Kill” (or words to that effect). If that option prevails, no one dies at the end of the day.
- A majority vote for one player (or No Kill) will end the day early.
- A tied vote at twilight will result in no one dying.
- Catering Truck thread:
- The item with the most votes wins. If there is a tie, I will choose between the tied items for you.
- The selected item is awarded at twilight to the player who best completes that day’s Event to Princent Vice’s satisfaction. Event entries are made in QTs and must not be made public.
- Day kill thread:
- Instant death for the loser. Odds of winning 50%, as selected by RNG.
- There can be up to 2 duels per game day. The winner of the first duel can participate in the second.
- The first duel must be finished before the second takes place.
- You can’t duel yourself.
- You can’t duel Captain Video.
- Do not coerce third parties into dueling each other.
- There are no secret powers or win conditions in this game. Any changes I have to make to the mechanics will be announced publicly. Catering Truck items will always have their effects listed.
- If you maintain a game-related outside resource (like a spreadsheet or an in-character Tumblr), stop updating it after you’re dead.
- No editing posts.
- No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
- If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.