Ricin Pudding Ingredients: Cooking spray 5-inch length fresh lemongrass, finely chopped 3 cups 2% milk 3 ½ cups coconut milk (not low fat), well-shaken 1 ½ cups granulated sugar ½ teaspoon kosher salt 1 ½ cups uncooked medium-grain white rice (such as Arborio), rinsed with cold water and drained 1 ½ tablespoons (in total) freshly-grated lemon, orange, and lime zest, plus more for serving 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste or extract 1/8 teaspoon cardamom Directions: 1) Grease the slow cooker with cooking spray. Place the lemongrass on a small piece of cheesecloth, form into a bundle, and secure tightly with … Continue reading Werewolf XXXI: Culinary Catastrophe, Day Five: Dessert (or Cyanice Cream)

The Cadaverous Campanelle Ingredients: 3 medium leeks, white and light green parts halved lengthwise, washed, and cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices (about 5 cups), roughly chopped dark green parts reserved (about 3 cups) 1 pound asparagus, tough ends snapped off, chopped coarsely, and reserved; spears cut on bias into 1/2-inch-thick pieces 2 cups frozen baby peas, thawed 4 medium garlic cloves, minced (about 4 teaspoons) 4 cups vegetable broth 1 cup water 2 tablespoons minced fresh mint leaves 2 tablespoons minced fresh chives 1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest plus 2 tablespoons lemon juice from 1 lemon 6 tablespoons extra virgin … Continue reading Werewolf XXXI: Culinary Catastrophe, Day Four: Pasta (or Laburnum Lasagna)

The Avocados of Assassination Ingredients: 1 ½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts (halved lengthwise if they’re thick) 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 cup chopped green onions (including the whites) 2 jalapeños, minced (and seeded if you want to reduce the heat) 2 cloves garlic, minced 4 (14.5 oz) cans low-sodium chicken broth 2 Roma tomatoes, seeded and diced ½ teaspoon ground cumin Salt and pepper 1/3 cup chopped cilantro 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice 3 medium avocados, peeled, cored, and diced Tortilla chips, Monterrey jack cheese, sour cream for serving (optional) Directions: 1) In a large pot, heat the olive … Continue reading Werewolf XXXI: Culinary Catastrophe, Day Three: Soup (or A Bowl of Belladonna)