Werewolf XXXI: Culinary Catastrophe, Day Two: Appetizers (or The Strychnine Snacks)

The Figs of Fatality:


5 ounces slab bacon, sliced ½-inch thick, then sliced crosswise into ½-inch pieces
3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
8 ripe fresh figs, halved lengthwise
2 tablespoons sherry vinegar or red wine vinegar
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, finely chopped


1) Cook the bacon pieces in a large, nonstick skillet over medium-low heat, stirring often, until brown and crisp, about 8-10 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer bacon to a small bowl.

2) Pour off all but 2 tablespoons fat from the skillet (and save it for another use!) Add maple syrup to the skillet, swirling to combine, and heat over medium-high. Arrange figs in the skillet in a single layer, cut side down. Cook, swirling liquid occasionally, until figs are slightly softened and caramelized, about 5 minutes.

3) Arrange figs cut side up on a platter and press pieces of bacon onto the surface of each fig. Set the skillet over medium heat, add vinegar, and stir into juices. Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring constantly, until syrupy, about 1 minute. Drizzle syrup over figs, then sprinkle with red pepper.

After such a harrowing introduction to their fellow students, the Chefs assumed they’d earned some time off. Headmaster Mustard had no such leniency, however, and directed everyone to their evening classes. Exhausted and scared, the Chefs did their best to concentrate, and were grateful when they were finally given permission to head back to their dorm rooms for a good night’s sleep.

The next morning, the Chefs met in the dining room, where they discovered breakfast already laid out for them at their reserved seats. “Quite a rum afternoon yesterday, eh?” Henry Crabbe said as he tucked into his Eggs Florentine. “Yes, I’d say so,” said Peter Reinhart, sampling from a basket of blackberry basil scones. “Mmddfhdph,” gurgled Tiffani Amber Thiessen, her mouth crammed with a delicate ham and cheese soufflé. “Ew, don’t talk with your mouth full,” sniffed Lily Loveless, but Tiffani didn’t seem to hear.

The gurgling continued, getting louder and louder, then turning into wracking spasms. Alarmed, the rest of the Chefs attempted to help the poor woman, but to no avail. Her head lurched forward and hit the table with a sickening smack, foamy cheese running down the side of her face.

Tiffani Amber Thissen (Holly Jolly Allison) is dead. She was a Chef (Vanilla Town).


7 5 Chefs (Vanilla Town)
1 Taste Tester (Cop)
1 Dorm Prefect (Jailkeeper)
4 Poisoners (Wolves)

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1) Smokemaster Shipwreck
2) Mello Yello Enthusiast
3) forget_it_jake / Alex Guarnaschelli
4) El Marinero / DI Henry Crabbe
5) Spiny Creature / Lily Loveless
6) Otakunomike
7) Creeper / Guy Fieri — Chef (Vanilla Town)
8) FJ’s Motorized Hot Tub / Nigella Lawson
9) Holly Jolly Allison / Tiffani Amber Thiessen — Chef (Vanilla Town)
10) ThoughtsThoughtsThoughts / Cat Cora
11) MacCrocodile / Jean-Paul Ducroque
12) HolsGG / Mary Berry
13) Candide / Peter Reinhart

Day One

Day Two ends at ~9AM EST tomorrow (May 25), or if a majority lynch vote is reached first.