Hey, all; Happy and Healthy Friday –
As I write this, I’m waiting on a listing from my current employer showing what the next contract holder will be looking for in terms of hiring. Without going in to too much detail, the position that I would be interviewing for (and most likely get) would find me doing largely what I’m doing now, though at a slightly larger pay-rate. Sounds awesome, right? Not only would it not require as much of a learning curve on my part than if I came in blind, but I also get paid more! Win-Win!
Except…
I’ve talked at length about this before, but, I don’t actually like what I’m doing, now. Hell, it’s partly why I created this damn column in the first place. Now, that’s not to say that I’ve never derived any satisfaction from my current position. It’s still in disability services, and that means that I’ve been able to, in my time, help a lot of people to better be able to live their than they had been, before. I guess that, now, I’m just wondering if I’m justified in feeling that done enough; you know? I think that a lot of it comes down to feeling like the standards and bare minimums I’ve held myself to in the past decade or so need to change. In my professional life, I’ve never held any positions one could think of as particularly lofty. Most of them have had to do with working with the public, and none of them have ever been more than either entry-level, or mid-level management positions.
This isn’t to say that I’ve never tried to go higher, it’s just that, when assessing those potential advancements and what would be expected of me, most have either been duties I wouldn’t have felt comfortable performing, or in doing so making a walking example of “The Peter Principle;” that is, being promoted over my own personal level of competence by virtue of performance reward, or seniority. And really, that’s fine. While it’s always nice to get a feather in one’s cap and advance in one’s position, I’ve always felt that it’s better to be seen as good at what you what you do, even if it’s not a particularly prestigious or auspicious position. There are certain jobs that just need doing, and someone’s got to do them; isn’t it at least a little better to be able to do them, well?
Which brings me back to my predicament. Where does the delineation happen between the familiar and not necessarily satisfying work that needs to be done and maintaining a base standard of living, vs. the narrowing of that material standard and the growth of one’s personal satisfaction? I know that, in my initial post about my coming layoff, I stated that I was probably going to take it; and so far, that position has not changed. However, as time ticks down, I will say that my initial notion of happily taking the money and running is being weighed down by the ever-growing feeling of guilt that comes when an ostensibly mature adult shirks their responsibilities.
Tl;dr: I’m still probably going to take the layoff, but now I’m starting to feel guilty about it. Thanks, Catholic upbringing!
As ever, have a safe and productive rest of the day, safe trip home, if out, and great weekend. And, at the end of the day, regardless of what one makes at one’s job, how much is a good night’s sleep worth?