Werewolf 152: Seinfeld – Day Five

(Elaine and Puddy are on a plane from Oslo to New York following a disastrous vacation.)

Puddy (counting change): Well, let’s see, I’ve got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. No wait, that’s another ten kroner. 

Elaine: We have to break up.

Puddy: What?

Elaine: I can’t take this anymore! I don’t want to hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is! And if you tell me what time it is in New York again, you are going home in a body bag!

Puddy: Well what about you? What do you think The Gap in Rome has that’s not in The Gap on Broadway?

Elaine: Okay, alright listen. Forget about The Gap because we are through!

Puddy: Fine!

Elaine: Fine! Ugh, I hope a giant mountain rises out of the ocean and we just ram right into it and end this whole thing!

(Puddy and the woman across the aisle share a laugh.)

Elaine: What are you doing?

Puddy: It’s a long flight, Elaine. I had to get on with my life.

Elaine: By making time with some floozy across the aisle?

Puddy: Yeah, that’s right. Well, what’s going on over there with you and, uh, vegetable lasagna?

Elaine: This guy? He’s an idiot. He doesn’t mean anything to me.

Passenger: I can hear you.

Puddy: Well, she doesn’t mean anything to me either. If it were up to me, we’d still be together.

Elaine: Well maybe I feel the same way.

Puddy: Ok.

Elaine: Ok, so now what?

Puddy: Let’s make out.

(As they start to make out, a giant mountain rises out of the ocean and the plane rams right into it.)

Jake (Hans Sprungfeld) and Marlowe (George Steinbrenner) have died. They were ELAINE BENES and DAVID PUDDY (Town Lovers).

(George is walking on the beach. He is practicing pretending to be a marine biologist.)

George: Then of course with evolution the octopus lost the nostrils and took on the more familiar look that we know today. But if you look really closely, you can still see a bump where the nose used to be. Okay, yeah, I’ve got this whole fish thing down, it’s actually easier than pretending to be an architect.

(A tall figure approaches George from behind. He turns to see Crazy Joe Davola in his clown suit.)

George: You again? Didn’t you already kill me once?

Joe: It’s not you, it’s me.

George: You’re giving me the “It’s not you, it’s me” routine? I invented “It’s not you, it’s me.” Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me.

Joe: All right, it’s you.

(Kibosh.)

Jude (Sasha Velour) has been kiboshed again, this time for good. They are still GEORGE COSTANZA (Town).


Players

Cop on the Edge-ish // Cop on the Edge-ish
Lindsay // Willow Rosenberg
Louie // Lance Reddick from The Wire or Bosch or Fringe or …
Sic humor // Smoove 
Side Character // Patrick Stickles

Del Boca Vista

Adam Farrar // Denim Vest (NEWMAN – WOLF)
April // Michael (VANILLA TOWN)
Book Lover // Keith Hernandez (JERRY SEINFELD – TOWN)
Emmelemm // Kitty Witless (KRAMER)
Jake // Hans Sprungfeld (ELAINE BENES – TOWN)
Jude // Sasha Velour (GEORGE COSTANZA – TOWN)
Hayes // Grover (VANILLA TOWN)
Hoho // Kibbles the Clown (VANILLA TOWN)
Indy // Ross Geller (VANILLA TOWN)
MacCrocodile // Frank Costanza (FRANK COSTANZA – TOWN)
Marlowe // George Steinbrenner (DAVID PUDDY – TOWN)
Nate // Orville Peck (UNCLE LEO – WOLF)
Ralph // J. Peterman (KENNY BANIA – WOLF)
Wasp // Bill McNeal (MR. PITT – WOLF)
Warrior // Vince Russo (VANILLA TOWN)

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Roles

3 Town

Wins the game when the wolves and SK are sent to Del Boca Vista (the graveyard).

JERRY SEINFELD – Jerry is an observational comedian. Each night he “observes” a player to learn their alignment. Jerry can detect the SK and the wolves (except Uncle Leo). 

GEORGE COSTANZA – The first time George dies, he shows back up in the game the next day as if it never happened. The next time George dies, they will be out of the game like normal.

COSMO KRAMER – Role backup.
-If Crazy Joe Davola dies before the start of Day 3, Kramer becomes the new Serial Killer.
-If Kramer and Crazy Joe Davola both survive until Day 3, Kramer then becomes the Jailer.

ELAINE BENES – Her dancing is so awful it can kill. Once during the game, Elaine can “little kick” another player to the graveyard. If Elaine is blocked, the shot is not spent. Also, Elaine is Town Lovers with …

DAVID PUDDY – Elaine and Puddy share a QT. They will randomly break up and get back together throughout the game. They will be notified in their QT by the mod when they are broken up or not. If Elaine or Puddy dies while they are together, they both die. If one of them dies while they are broken up, the other survives. Puddy has one optional vig kill they can use as a night action.

FRANK COSTANZA (Mystery Town Role) – Frank receives secret advantages for each of the daily events.

YADDA YADDA YADDA – Vanilla Town

1 Wolf

Wins the game when there is no SK and the number of wolf players equals the number of Town players.

NEWMAN – Role blocker. Cannot block the same player on consecutive nights.

UNCLE LEO – Undetectable wolf. Hello!

KENNY BANIA (Mystery Wolf Role) – Each night, target up to two players. The chosen players must tell a terrible, hacky joke in the thread the next day before Twilight.

MR. PITT – Eats his Snickers bars with a knife and fork. Otherwise, a vanilla wolf.

SHRINKAGE WOLF – Vanilla wolf.

1 Serial Killer

Wins by being the last clown (player) standing.

CRAZY JOE DAVOLA – Kills one player per night. If Crazy Joe Davola kills Jerry, he immediately gets an additional kill the same night.

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Rules

No quoting or screencapping from QTs. Do not ask other players about their QTs in an attempt to figure out what role they have.

You cannot edit any of your posts. The mod will know!

Wolf and SK night kill actions are mandatory. Vig kills are optional.

A tie vote at Twilight results in RNG amongst the tied players.

Participation: You must make a minimum of three posts per day to avoid being replaced.

Be nice: Attack arguments, not people.

Night Action Order of Operations: Blocking > jailing > investigation > SK kill > optional Vig kill > Wolf kill.

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Twilight is at 5pm PST (8pm EST) on Friday, May 14.