This is not the game you thought you were playing.

You did not recognize the warnings. You did not tread carefully.

This will cost you dearly.

The realtor gives a final nod at the newly furnished kitchen, marveling at the efficient usage of space and ignoring the door to the laundry room you meant to move. The program wouldn’t let me move the doors, okay? and why doesn’t it let me move the fridge that’s in the middle of the foyer for some reason??

Today you’ll be working on the living room. It’s a big space, so it’s a lot to tackle, but the floors just got finished and you guys are on the clock. You have one day to plan and execute this room.

The stress is getting to a few of you. You’re on camera constantly, even when you want to just sit down for a second. When you look away from the camera you’re always told to “stay open”. What does that even mean? You’re hardly able to hear yourself think over the construction and the moving vans and the scraping of chairs and the arguing and–

You know, you never really liked these house shows.

One of you gets tired of the secondary TV show’s crew. They’re too noisy. They’re ruining the flow of the house. Captain Video (Asphalt That Ends Well’s friendly cast) has died.

One of you is sick of open floor-plans. You think walls are fine. And taking them down is too much trouble. Owen (the Quibi founders) has died.

Didn’t the 80’s happen decades ago? We can stop being “retro”, it’s just boring. At least one of you feels strongly about that. Emm (the color mauve) has died.

One of you feels obligated to commit murder, but, golly, everyone just seems so excited to be here. Let’s try… Mac (Sarah Winchester) has died.

Wow, somebody’s popular. Concerningly so. What’d you do to all those people? Raven and Rose (Sherilynn Rae, Quibi star) has died.

Buzzfeed Unsolved is too good to be associated with Buzzfeed. Why don’t they pull a Try Guys? Anyway, Lamb Dance (Shane and Ryan of Buzzfeed Unsolved) has died.

This is what you get for killing Merlizabeth after she already finished killing someone else. (Being on land turned her to the dark ways of capitalism.) And for having the audacity to correct the realtor when she was “incorrect” or whatever. Jake (Hildi Santo-Tomas) has died.

One of you really doesn’t like artists. Eugh. This one lady’s ruining the entire theme of the house with her modern art– it’s probably modern, right?– and she has to go. Hayes (Delia Deetz) has died.

Yeah, no other Gaineses should be able to operate in the housing industry. Ralph (Garth Gaines) has died.

Wow, another popular one! At least someone here was sorry. Though, sorry doesn’t put the blood back in. Malthusc (Maureen) has died.

And this one’s even more heartless. You have the option not to commit murder, and then you do it anyway just to thin down the herd? I mean, yeah, I’d do the same, but it’s the principal of the thing, right? Nuka (Possibly Detective Raphael Ambrosius Costeau) has died.

A few of you had some close calls. A few of you had a lot of close calls. But all that matters is that there’s still some people left to turn this house into a home!

Now, you might be thinking: What gives? Why’d all those people die? I only shot one of them!

Well, it’s time for a plot twist, my friend.

(The below text was a spoiler once, but it’s probably more useful outside of the spoiler.)

Every single one of you– even the ones who died– are serial killers. There are no wolves, no masons, no roled townies– only VT turned evil by capitalism.

Tonight’s House Powers include:

Not everyone who wins a power will get to choose between every power.

The Decor Vote Threads will now include options that add new rules to the game, such as the ones in there today. (These options are still decor, though they might be a little bit too niche for a lot of decor styles.)

Each day will still have a vote thread in which to daykill.

Keep in mind the power of friendship. This isn’t a joke.

Twilight will be Thursday, August 6th, at 1 PM EST. 

Unless y’all get tired and want to end the day early. Not like there’s much to do today.