Tournament of Ill-Advised Marriage, Round of 32

We’re down to 32 eligible… somethings… in this tournament to win my hand in marriage.

Stats from last round:

  • The most upvoted entry was that one completely normal and dashing looking guy we should absolutely trust. I’m really pleased that he’s the frontrunner so far, and not something ridiculous, like a giant chicken in a suit. This match also had the biggest spread, as Sebulba failed spectacularly.
  • The least upvoted entry was crazy bread crazy bread pizza crazy bread the Little Caesar’s moon, who faced tough competition in the form of Agent Scully, specifically from Bad Blood.
  • The tightest competition was Ralph’s favorite spoon versus a yurt, with the yurt winning by just two votes. The yurt was also the least upvoted entry to win its round, and the spoon the most upvoted entry to lose.

And now, a few notes on some of our fallen:

  • I think I probably would have been pretty compatible with Merry. I also like sitting around the house and having second breakfast, and he’s a good dude that has your back.
  • It’s just as well that both Demyx, the Kingdom Hearts character and Peridot have been voted out, because I don’t need to marry myself.
  • Would Mary Worth meddle in her own wedding? Who am I kidding, of course she would. By voting her out, you’ve spared me from an agonizing life of advancing terminally boring conversations about terminally boring people one line of dialogue per day.
  • Despite what Queen Light says, that noble chosen by a scheming powerbroker is looking pretty good. Sure, he’d definitely try to kill me, but… hm. Actually, yeah, that’s a significant downside, never mind.
  • Merve nominated the very Disney-themed Rubik’s cube that sits on my desk in my long-forgotten office. Alas, we are parted once more.
  • I’m pretty glad you didn’t keep Coily the Spring Sprite around. I’m pretty sure I need springs.
  • I like musicals quite a lot, but I’ve never seen or listened to Cats. I tried to watch the entirety of the Rum Tum Tugger clip posted under his entry and couldn’t make it through. How was this the most popular musical for years?! I’m now more baffled by the existence of Cats than ever, and I haven’t even watched the movie.
  • No matter who wins, I’m definitely going to be cheating on them with using the A button in Animal Crossing.
  • I told you I’d be sad when you Simpsons-loving fucks denied me the chance to marry Jake Gyllenhaal (as Mr. Music), and I am. You also voted out Jason Isaacs and Adam Driver because why would you want to let me marry an attractive man when I could marry a cat or some shit? At least Patrick Stewart is still here.

Anyway, vote for one contestant in each pairing. Voting ends tomorrow-ish. The next round will be up Monday.