So far, the Golgafrincham telephone sanitizer’s night off from lying unconscious in Freezer Bay 7 had gone rather well. Milliways had no telephones to sanitize (she had asked the goat waiter many times to the point where he actually started to look annoyed) so she could just relax, enjoy her cocktails and appetizers, and watch the show.
But if she had to be honest with herself, she was getting just a bit bored. True, the end of the universe was mildly interesting, and there was the business with the Vogons and the murders of the others seated at her table, but none of it was genuinely able to hold her interest. She couldn’t remember being this bored since she was briefly President of the Galaxy.
She looked over at the disabled Eddie the Computer, discarded in a heap on an unused table. No, she thought to herself. Put the thought out of your mind. You’re not a computer sanitizer. You can’t compromise your principles! Everything you’ve worked for up to now has been about the sanitization of telecommunications devices! What would it all mean if you —
But then the thought struck her. Computers have modems. A modem is like a telephone, right? The idea strengthened. Yes, yes it is! I’m sure Eddie’s modem could use a quick sanitization … what would be the harm?
With a brief glance over both shoulders to ensure nobody was watching, she flipped on the computer. She heard the chatter of the modem connecting to a remote server, and she smiled. But before she could reach for her sanitizing supplies, an unknown voice emerged from the computer’s tinny speaker:
“’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.”
MAYELBRIDWEN has died. She was one head of Zaphod Beeblebrox (Diner/Town).
As the conductor of an infinity train, One-One was familiar with ideas relating to eternity.
“But if the Universe is Infinite,” asked Sad-One, “how can it end?”
“The end is the same as the beginning!” said Glad-One. “Isn’t that great?”
“No, it’s stupid. Something can’t begin and end in the same place. And Infinity can’t begin or end anywhere.”
“Sure it can! Infinity contains all beginnings and all endings. That’s what makes it so neat!”
“Ugh,” Sad-One groaned. “I’m sick of your shit. I’m going to find the bar, I need a drink.”
The spherical robot separated into its two halves. Tiny spider-like legs sprouted from Sad-One’s bottom edge, and it skittered off towards the back of the restaurant. With only one eye available, the robot bumped into several shins as it traveled, offering no apologies.
Sad-One arrived at what it thought was the bar. It looked up, and with its limited digital visual sensors, saw what it thought was the barkeep.
“I’ll have a double of whatever will get me drunk,” Sad-One said. “And don’t dawdle, it’s already been a long–“
A rough reptilian tongue shot out and stuck to the robot’s dome, where it was pulled into a hideous maw and thoroughly chewed.
SIDE CHARACTER has died. He was a Vanilla Diner (Town)…
“mmmMMMmmm,” the Bugblatter Beast moaned. “That good! That good good! Is more?” The Beast slunk around the restaurant, easily avoiding the gaze of the patrons with their necks craned upwards to watch the impending destruction of the Universe through the glass ceiling above.
Glad-One heard a grunt, and spun its eye around to see the creature looming above it.
“Oh, goody!” it said. “Are you here to be my frien–“
… and he was also the PERFECTLY NORMAL BEAST.
14 Diners (Town)
Diners win the game when all Vogons and Independent roles are dead before the Universe ends.
12 Vanilla Diners have no night actions.
Several players have secret passive powers, though they are still considered Vanilla Diners:
- Boghog: The meat of a Boghog is completely inedible, so they cannot be eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. (The Boghog can die from any other means, such as day-kill or Vogon kill.)
Perfectly Normal Beast: The meat of a Perfectly Normal Beast is extra delicious. If this player is eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, it counts as two kills towards the Beast’s total needed to win the game.
- Agrajag: Has an optional one-shot kill that is only activated when Agrajag dies.
- Garkbit: Each day, Garkbit (the Head Waiter at Milliways) chooses a special rule from a menu. This rule is revealed to all players at some point during the day, and only applies to that day. Since this is a day action, Garkbit’s power cannot be blocked or detected by Zaphod Beeblebrox. If killed, another Diner will be randomly selected as the new Garkbit.
Blagulon Kappan (Investigator): A methane-breathing life form that can investigate the alignment of one player per night. Possible results are “Diner” or “Vogon”.
- The Vogon Poetry Lover reads as “Diner” until they are recruited, then they read as “Vogon”.
- The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, Max Quordlepleen, and Zarniwoop read as “Diner”.
Colin (Jailer): A small, round, melon-sized, flying security robot that can put a target player in jail for the night, protecting and blocking them. Cannot choose the same player two nights in a row and cannot choose themselves.
Benjy Mouse: As a night action, may send a message to another player. Twice during the game, Benjy can choose to squeeze the recipient’s brain to make the message lethal.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: One player who is now considered a Vanilla Diner.
Two players that share a private QT. Each night, Zaphod chooses a player to watch and see if they perform a night action (but not what the night action does). A jailed or blocked player does not detect as having a night action. If one Zaphod player dies, the other survives, but they lose this power and the dead Zaphod player has a choice of continuing to chat in their private QT or going to the graveyard.
2 Vogons (Wolves)
Vogons win the game when the number of Vogon players equals the number of Diner players and the Independent roles are dead before the Universe ends.
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz: Performs all Vogon kills through reciting poetry as a night action. If Jeltz is jailed, the Vogon kill is blocked for that night. If Jeltz dies, his night action moves to Vrunt, then Kwaltz, and so on. Vrunt the Naysayer: Vanilla Vogon. Kwaltz: Vogon Investigator. The Vogon Poetry Lover is the only player that will return a positive investigation result.
Zarniwoop: Reads as Diner when investigated. Performs all Vogon kills through reciting poetry as a night action.
Constant Mown: Vogon role-blocker.
Vogon Poetry Lover: Recruited Vogon. If this player is targeted by the Vogons to be killed, they survive and are recruited as a Vogon instead.
2 Independent Roles
Max Quordlepleen: Max can choose to protect a player from death as a night action. Can protect themselves twice during the game. Cannot choose the same player two nights in a row. Max wins the game alone if he is still alive when the Universe ends.
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal: Serial killer. Wins the game once they eat 6 players.
No quoting or screencapping from QTs. Do not ask other players about their QTs in an attempt to figure out what role they have.
You cannot edit any of your posts. The mod will know!
Participation: You must make a minimum of three posts per day to avoid being mod-killed or replaced.
Tiebreaker: If a day ends in a tie vote, no player dies.
AnnaNomally // Lemony Snicket
Captain Oblivious // Zapp Brannigan
DW // Weed Ranger
El Marinero // Dish of the Day
Grumproro // Lumpy Space Princess
Hayes Code // Lintilla, a Daring Space Archaeologist
Hohopossum // Jud Crandall, ayup
Jake // Prince Herbert
Landstander // Vrickle Bork
Mr.ImMyOwnGrandpa // Morbo
MSD // Frog
Nuka-Fanta // Unnamed Goose
Owen // Bowl of Petunias
Ralph // Bobby Bottleservice
Sagittariuskim // Abigail Fitzwilliam Darcy Featherbottom
Sic Humor // Vinsmoke Sanji
Spooky // Infocom Text Adventure (Standard Difficulty)
Wasp // Doctor Who
April // Mr. Tyzik (Benjy Mouse – DINER)
Buttersnap // PowerPoint (Kwaltz – VOGON)
Flubba // Eddie the Computer
InDEEED // Not Sam Rockwell (Vanilla DINER)
Josephus Brown // Thor (Vrunt the Naysayer – VOGON)
Lindsay // Ruby (Vogon Poetry Lover – VOGON)
Mayelbridwen // Telephone Sanitizer (Zaphod Beeblebrox – DINER)
Side Character // One-One (Perfectly Normal Beast – DINER)
Cop on the Edge-ish
Welcome to Milliways! Your table is almost ready.
You are a DINER (Vanilla Town). Please, take a seat and enjoy your sumptuous meal while watching the whole of creation explode around you.
Day Four ends on Monday, September 30 at 1:00pm PST (4:00pm EST), or if a majority vote is reached first.