Morning comes, and you line up on the sandbags to see what fresh bullshit the Central Powers have cooked up. The Austrians, it turns out, have a new tank. It’s the size and approximate shape of a steamboat. There are twin smokestacks and at least 16 different guns that you can see. It also features two armored paddle wheels outside the tread line. These appear to be for additional traction in the mud, although they don’t seem to be doing much good. The whole thing is bogged down out in no-man’s land, proudly flying the Austrian flag from one stack and the Hungarian flag from the other. The guns work just fine, though, and you keep your distance.
“Nonsense like that is why infantry isn’t going to win in a clean fight,” says Lt. Trout, raising her periscope up above the sandbag line. The top half of the scope is immediately shredded by machine gun fire. “God above, there’s so much war out there.”
“Ma’am?” asks Rilla, dragging over the deactivated body of Gort. “What shall we do with the metal man?”
Lt. Trout rubs her forehead with her fingertips. “Set it aside. We can turn it in for the five-cent deposit later.
Gort v3.0 (Goat) has died. He was INFANTRY (Town) and, yet again, unable to stop the spread of communism.
“What do you suppose got him?” Rilla asks King Elroy, propping Gort up beside a stack of spent shell casings. “There’s no damage that I can see.”
King Elroy looks him over, then pulls a circle of metal off the side of Gort’s head. “Magnet.”
Lt. Trout tosses aside the remains of her periscope and sits down, stretching her legs out in the dirt.
“I must confess I believed leadership to be more straightforward than this.” She shakes her head, then looks at you. “I know I haven’t been here on the line with you at all hours, as you have the right to expect of me.”
A grenade lands directly in front of her. Absentmindedly, she throws it back.
“But I do not shirk my duties, either. Beneath our feet runs a tunnel directly to the German front line. Every part of me aches, but it is done.”
She stands, looks at you, then back down.
“I had time for much reflection, underground. I thought about Charlton. I thought about the rest of you, who died to hold this trench. I… found something of myself, down there.” A pause. “Do you believe we can ever truly know ourselves?”
No one says anything, and she shrugs. “Gather your things.”
- Germany is now rationing food, water, and air.
- Mailmen on the front are getting tired of delivering letters from loved ones to guys who died just the day before. Real tired.
- Scientists in Austria-Hungary have discovered that certain “radio-active” atoms, when placed next to others of their type, can set off a sort of chain reaction in which they break apart all at once. This is believed to be of no practical value.
Today’s Trading Cards
“Fragments from France”
By Bruce Bairnsfather
- A Winged Potato – Lord Flashheart
- Annanomally – Reposted InnDEEEEED Comments
- April LKD – King Elroy Bertrand Poopypants of East Hampshire
- Grumproro – D.H. Lawrence
- Hegel Exercises
- Jon Hamm’s John Ham – Jonathan Hamsworth
- Mayelbridwen – Bertha “Rilla” Marilla Blythe
- Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather – Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan
- Owen1120 – Augustus Sebald
- Pulprobot – John Harrison – Replaced on Day 2 by AWP
- Ralph Waldo Wiggum – Victor Delamarre
- Shipwreck – Midshipman Hector “Shipwreck” Delgado – Replaced on Day 3 by Thoughts
- Sister Mary Francis – Special Private Dolores “Babyface” Guppy
- BannerThief – Corporal BannerThief Vakarian – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 5 in a duel against Jake.
- Boris – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 4 by NCO #1.
- BrittaBot – Svvëdish Chef – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Josephus.
- Clodia – Clothilde Renou – GERMAN SPY. Stabbed to death by the rest of you at the end of Day 6.
- D. Goat – Gort v3.0 – Infantry. Killed Night 7 by the German spies.
- Donalbain – HUNGARIAN SPY. Killed Night 3 by NCO #2.
- Dr. Nick – The Internet – MEDIC. Killed Night 1 by the Hungarian Spy.
- DW – Merchant from Resident Evil 4 – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the Hungarian Spy.
- E-Dog – GERMAN OFFICER (Wolf roleblocker). Sent over the top at the end of Day 5.
- Flubba Gunto – Officer Krazy Kat – Infantry. Killed Night 3 by stray shrapnel.
- Hohopossum – Australian wombat-ready possum – Infantry. Killed Night 4 by stray shrapnel.
- Jake – The Luggage – Infantry. Killed Night 6 by the German spies.
- Josephus Brown – Portugal. The Man – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 4.
- Lamb Dance – John Laurens – Infantry. Died Day 6 in a duel against AWP.
- Lindsay – Lena von Meow – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Mike.
- Louie Blue – Cheikh Khoulé – Infantry. Forced to sacrifice himself at the end of Day 5 to aid the jailbreak from Stalag 69.
- Lord Stoneheart – Bidoof – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Jake.
- Mac Crocodile – Lance Corporal Alistair Edmond Angela MacCrocodile III – NCO #1 (“OGNCO”) (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
- Miss Rim – Dame Augusta Mimsy-Porpington of the Great Snoring Mimsy-Porpingtons – MEDIC. Killed Night 3 by the Hungarian Spy.
- Mr. Glitch – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 2.
- Otakunomike – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 1.
- Pearl Sheltie – Buster Keaton/Lt. Count Dracula/Shane McGowan – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 4 in a duel against Louie.
- Sic Humor – Steve Smith – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Spooky.
- Sister Jude the Obscure – Mary Pickford – NCO #2 (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
- Smapti – Smaptibus µ, of the Mermarians of Mu – Infantry. Died Day 7 in a duel against Ralph.
- Snugglewumps – Billy D. Orfan – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 1 by the Austrian spy; also targeted by NCO #1.
- Spiny Creature – Comrade Samantha Parkington, an American girl – AUSTRIAN SPY (SK #1). Killed Night 1 by the German spies.
- Spookyfriend – Sean the 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢 doll – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against AWP.
- Subsaharan – Space Corporal Subsaharan
- The Hayes Code – Deryn Sharp – INVESTIGATOR. Killed Night 5 by the German spies.
- Ult Warrior – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by NCO #1
- Zecko – Thelonious “Zecko” Flashman – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the German spies.
- Fully Integrated First Irregulars (TOWN)
299 Infantry (Vanilla Town) 2 Medics 1 Investigator 1 2 0 NCOs (Vigilantes)
- German Spies (WOLVES)
1 German Officer (Wolf Roleblocker) 83 German Spies (Vanilla Wolves)
- Austro-Hungarian Spies (Serial Killers)
1 Austrian Spy (SK #1) 1 Hungarian Spy (SK #2)
- Win conditions:
- The wolves win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left (if the SKs are dead), or outnumber the non-wolf players (even if the SKs are still alive).
- Town wins when all the wolves and the serial killers are defeated.
- The serial killers win when it comes down to just them and one other person.
- A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and one or both SKs will result in a special ending.
- Night actions:
- There isn’t a hard order that night actions occur in. This is to allow as many of them to go through as possible. Roleblocks will always take precedent over the actions of the targeted player, however.
- Your night actions do not happen if you are in Stalag 69.
- In order to keep the game moving, each night will be a maximum of 12 hours long. Be sure to get your night actions in within 12 hours of twilight, or they won’t be counted.
- Role rules:
- The medics cannot medic themselves or each other. They cannot medic the same person two days in a row.
- The German roleblocker cannot roleblock the same person two days in a row.
- The investigator will be told the alignment of the person they investigate. Results are either ENTENTE (town), GERMAN or AUSTRO-HUNGARIAN.
- The medics know each other’s identities, but do not share a QT. Same for the Austrian and Hungarian spies.
- Being medic’d prevents the target from being killed or captured by the enemy, but does not prevent them from being investigated or using their night action (if any)
- A roleblock prevents the target from using their night action (if any), but does not stop outside night actions affecting them (i.e., being killed, captured or investigated.)
- Being simultaneously targeted by both the roleblocker AND a medic effectively means the target is jailed, and can neither use their night action nor be affected by other night actions.
- For a full list of role details, see the sign-up sheet.
- Prisoner capture and trading
- Each night, you will capture 3 or 4 enemy NPCs, and they will capture 4 of you. Their captives will go to Stalag 69, a German POW camp, and you can trade for them in a daily vote thread.
- Trades are always 1:1.
- You can only vote for one person (or “no trade”) each day. The top vote-getters will be traded for with as many NPC prisoners as you have. If one of the top votes is for “no trade,” you will save one prisoner for the next day.
- Players left in Stalag 69 too long will die (see “Kill powers,” below).
- If the number of unimprisoned players drops below one third of the original player count, a prison break in Stalag 69 will be orchestrated. Not all prisoners will be able to escape, and they will have to vote for who stays behind. Those who don’t escape will die, and there will be no more prisoner captures or trades.
- Kill powers:
- The German Spies (wolves) have a collective night kill, which will be conducted with improvised weapons.
- The Austrian Spy (1st SK) has a night kill with a Rast & Gasser M1898 revolver. Multiple kills in a single night are possible with this weapon, but only if kills are foregone on previous nights.
- The Hungarian Spy (2nd SK) has a night kill with Pontostárgy, the Doom Sword.
- The NCO (town-aligned vigilante) has a night kill with railway artillery, which can hit anyone, anywhere. There is a 25% chance it will accidentally kill someone in the same area as the target victim (either the main trench or Stalag 69).
- Any two players who are not in Stalag 69 can agree to a daytime duel, in which one of them will die. Results are immediate; odds of winning are 50%. Limit 3 duels per day.
- Players in Stalag 69 will die of disease if left there for too long. The exact length of time will be between 2 and 5 days, and each player will be told the number going in. These are night deaths, and will be publicly reported the following day.
- Vote Threads:
- Prisoner swap thread: You can only vote for one person. If necessary, I will break a tie by randomly choosing between the tied players.
- Sending people over the top (kill thread): A tie at the end of day results in no one going over the top. A majority of living players voting for any one person (or not to kill) ends the day early.
- If you die during the day, your votes (if any) in the kill thread and swap thread for that day will still be counted. However, you can’t add or change your votes after you’ve died.
- You can’t duel yourself.
- You can’t duel Captain Video.
- Do not coerce third parties into dueling each other.
- There are no secret powers or win conditions in this game. Any changes I have to make to the mechanics will be announced publicly.
- No editing posts.
- No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
- If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.
Current Victrola music:
Day 8 ends Friday, at 11 a.m. EST, or when a majority kill vote is reached.