The explosion at Stalag 69 has started a fire, which the Germans eventually give up on extinguishing. Through your binoculars and rifle scopes, you can see the prison’s last occupant, Young Pigeonpockets Pete, hightail it off to God knows where.
Night falls, lit orange by the dying embers of the POW camp. Deryn Sharp watches it from above, assiduously taking notes in her living balloon. She hears muttering below, and leans forward in her swing to listen. A bullet zips past her ear and punctures the balloon.
“Not again,” she says, as it crashes back to the trench.
She lands in a loose circle of shadowy figures – the most dangerous formation shadowy figures can take. Undaunted, Deryn stands and puts her hands on her hips.
“Hey! My balloon can feel pain, you know. That’s cruel.”
One of them points to the notebook in Deryn’s hand. “See? I told you she was the investigator.”
“You’ll never win,” Deryn says. She points a finger back at her accuser. “And you! I knew you were a German! As of five minutes ago!”
“Lot of good it did you, then.”
“It was an honor to serve my country!”
The Germans shrug. “Suit yourself.”
Deryn Sharp (The Hayes Code) has died. She was the INVESTIGATOR. All the roled players are now dead.
The rest of you find Deryn’s body in the morning, where it is stretched out on the mess table, stabbed with a dozen forks, knives and spoons.
“Is this a message?” asks Lord Flashheart. “This feels like a message.”
You respectfully move the body to the floor and eat a very sad breakfast.
“GOOD SHIT – NO COPS”
- They say it don’t be like it is, but it do.
- Deep in the jungles of Borneo, the Dutch have made first contact with a native tribe, which is being eagerly pressed for enlistments.
- Fighting between the Lava People and the Magma People continues in the Second Battle of the Mohorovičić Discontinuity.
- The nation of Spain has conducted a funeral for its dear friend, the nation of Portugal. Brazil and other current and former Portuguese colonies have pledged to send people to repopulate the now-empty European nation.
- The Great War Trading Card Company of Hoboken, N. J., has proudly rolled out an expansion pack, Weapons of War. Samples are included in today’s issue.
Today’s Trading Cards
Over 10,000 new cards! Collect them all!
“Fragments from France”
By Bruce Bairnsfather
- A Winged Potato – Lord Flashheart
- Annanomally – Reposted InnDEEEEED Comments
- April LKD – King Elroy Bertrand Poopypants of East Hampshire
- D. Goat – Gort v3.0
- Grumproro – D.H. Lawrence
- Hegel Exercises
- Jake – The Luggage
- Jon Hamm’s John Ham – Jonathan Hamsworth
- Mayelbridwen – Bertha “Rilla” Marilla Blythe
- Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather – Rear Brigadier Zapp Brannigan
- Owen1120 – Augustus Sebald
- Pulprobot – John Harrison – Replaced on Day 2 by AWP
- Ralph Waldo Wiggum – Victor Delamarre
- Shipwreck – Midshipman Hector “Shipwreck” Delgado – Replaced on Day 3 by Thoughts
- Sister Mary Francis – Special Private Dolores “Babyface” Guppy
- Smapti – Smaptibus µ, of the Mermarians of Mu
- BannerThief – Corporal BannerThief Vakarian – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 5 in a duel against Jake.
- Boris – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 4 by NCO #1.
- BrittaBot – Svvëdish Chef – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Josephus.
- Clodia – Clothilde Renou – GERMAN SPY. Stabbed to death by the rest of you at the end of Day 6.
- Donalbain – HUNGARIAN SPY. Killed Night 3 by NCO #2.
- Dr. Nick – The Internet – MEDIC. Killed Night 1 by the Hungarian Spy.
- DW – Merchant from Resident Evil 4 – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the Hungarian Spy.
- E-Dog – GERMAN OFFICER (Wolf roleblocker). Sent over the top at the end of Day 5.
- Flubba Gunto – Officer Krazy Kat – Infantry. Killed Night 3 by stray shrapnel.
- Hohopossum – Australian wombat-ready possum – Infantry. Killed Night 4 by stray shrapnel.
- Josephus Brown – Portugal. The Man – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 4.
- Lamb Dance – John Laurens – Infantry. Died Day 6 in a duel against AWP.
- Lindsay – Lena von Meow – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Mike.
- Louie Blue – Cheikh Khoulé – Infantry. Forced to sacrifice himself at the end of Day 5 to aid the jailbreak from Stalag 69.
- Lord Stoneheart – Bidoof – Infantry. Died Day 1 in a duel against Jake.
- Mac Crocodile – Lance Corporal Alistair Edmond Angela MacCrocodile III – NCO #1 (“OGNCO”) (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
- Miss Rim – Dame Augusta Mimsy-Porpington of the Great Snoring Mimsy-Porpingtons – MEDIC. Killed Night 3 by the Hungarian Spy.
- Mr. Glitch – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 2.
- Otakunomike – Infantry. Sent over the top at the end of Day 1.
- Pearl Sheltie – Buster Keaton/Lt. Count Dracula/Shane McGowan – GERMAN SPY. Died Day 4 in a duel against Louie.
- Sic Humor – Steve Smith – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against Spooky.
- Sister Jude the Obscure – Mary Pickford – NCO #2 (VIGILANTE). Killed Night 4 by the German spies.
- Snugglewumps – Billy D. Orfan – GERMAN SPY. Killed Night 1 by the Austrian spy; also targeted by NCO #1.
- Spiny Creature – Comrade Samantha Parkington, an American girl – AUSTRIAN SPY (SK #1). Killed Night 1 by the German spies.
- Spookyfriend – Sean the 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢 doll – Infantry. Died Day 2 in a duel against AWP.
- Subsaharan – Space Corporal Subsaharan
- The Hayes Code – Deryn Sharp – INVESTIGATOR. Killed Night 5 by the German spies.
- Ult Warrior – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by NCO #1
- Zecko – Thelonious “Zecko” Flashman – Infantry. Killed Night 2 by the German spies.
- Fully Integrated First Irregulars (TOWN)
2912 Infantry (Vanilla Town) 2 Medics 1 Investigator 1 2 0 NCOs (Vigilantes)
- German Spies (WOLVES)
1 German Officer (Wolf Roleblocker) 83 German Spies (Vanilla Wolves)
- Austro-Hungarian Spies (Serial Killers)
1 Austrian Spy (SK #1) 1 Hungarian Spy (SK #2)
- Win conditions:
- The wolves win when they are equal to the number of town-aligned players left (if the SKs are dead), or outnumber the non-wolf players (even if the SKs are still alive).
- Town wins when all the wolves and the serial killers are defeated.
- The serial killers win when it comes down to just them and one other person.
- A three-way standoff between the last town, last wolf and one or both SKs will result in a special ending.
- Night actions:
- There isn’t a hard order that night actions occur in. This is to allow as many of them to go through as possible. Roleblocks will always take precedent over the actions of the targeted player, however.
- Your night actions do not happen if you are in Stalag 69.
- In order to keep the game moving, each night will be a maximum of 12 hours long. Be sure to get your night actions in within 12 hours of twilight, or they won’t be counted.
- Role rules:
- The medics cannot medic themselves or each other. They cannot medic the same person two days in a row.
- The German roleblocker cannot roleblock the same person two days in a row.
- The investigator will be told the alignment of the person they investigate. Results are either ENTENTE (town), GERMAN or AUSTRO-HUNGARIAN.
- The medics know each other’s identities, but do not share a QT. Same for the Austrian and Hungarian spies.
- Being medic’d prevents the target from being killed or captured by the enemy, but does not prevent them from being investigated or using their night action (if any)
- A roleblock prevents the target from using their night action (if any), but does not stop outside night actions affecting them (i.e., being killed, captured or investigated.)
- Being simultaneously targeted by both the roleblocker AND a medic effectively means the target is jailed, and can neither use their night action nor be affected by other night actions.
- For a full list of role details, see the sign-up sheet.
- Prisoner capture and trading
- Each night, you will capture 3 or 4 enemy NPCs, and they will capture 4 of you. Their captives will go to Stalag 69, a German POW camp, and you can trade for them in a daily vote thread.
- Trades are always 1:1.
- You can only vote for one person (or “no trade”) each day. The top vote-getters will be traded for with as many NPC prisoners as you have. If one of the top votes is for “no trade,” you will save one prisoner for the next day.
- Players left in Stalag 69 too long will die (see “Kill powers,” below).
- If the number of unimprisoned players drops below one third of the original player count, a prison break in Stalag 69 will be orchestrated. Not all prisoners will be able to escape, and they will have to vote for who stays behind. Those who don’t escape will die, and there will be no more prisoner captures or trades.
- Kill powers:
- The German Spies (wolves) have a collective night kill, which will be conducted with improvised weapons.
- The Austrian Spy (1st SK) has a night kill with a Rast & Gasser M1898 revolver. Multiple kills in a single night are possible with this weapon, but only if kills are foregone on previous nights.
- The Hungarian Spy (2nd SK) has a night kill with Pontostárgy, the Doom Sword.
- The NCO (town-aligned vigilante) has a night kill with railway artillery, which can hit anyone, anywhere. There is a 25% chance it will accidentally kill someone in the same area as the target victim (either the main trench or Stalag 69).
- Any two players who are not in Stalag 69 can agree to a daytime duel, in which one of them will die. Results are immediate; odds of winning are 50%. Limit 3 duels per day.
- Players in Stalag 69 will die of disease if left there for too long. The exact length of time will be between 2 and 5 days, and each player will be told the number going in. These are night deaths, and will be publicly reported the following day.
- Vote Threads:
- Prisoner swap thread: You can only vote for one person. If necessary, I will break a tie by randomly choosing between the tied players.
- Sending people over the top (kill thread): A tie at the end of day results in no one going over the top. A majority of living players voting for any one person (or not to kill) ends the day early.
- If you die during the day, your votes (if any) in the kill thread and swap thread for that day will still be counted. However, you can’t add or change your votes after you’ve died.
- You can’t duel yourself.
- You can’t duel Captain Video.
- Do not coerce third parties into dueling each other.
- There are no secret powers or win conditions in this game. Any changes I have to make to the mechanics will be announced publicly.
- No editing posts.
- No quoting or screencapping from your QTs.
- If you have any other questions about rules, please ask in QT, and I will answer publicly here.
Current Victrola music:
Day 6 ends Monday at 8 p.m., EST, or when a majority vote is reached. Be aware that I’ll be busy this weekend, so autokilling someone won’t make Day 7 come faster. I’ll do my best to process any duels.