Wereweasel 83: Toontown Terror, Day 2

[STUDIO NOTE: Nobody died last night?! What the hell kind of mystery picture is this?]

SCENE FOUR
(INT. EDDIE VALIANT’S OFFICE)

(The camera moves down a dingy hallway. A distant phone rings.

We pass an open office door. The etching on the glass that once read “VALIANT AND VALIANT” has been mostly scratched off.

The phone abruptly stops ringing and we hear a voice.)

EDDIE VALIANT (voice only, offscreen): Whaddya want? No. No, this is not Valiant and Valiant. Not anymore. Look buddy, you got the wrong number. Buzz off!

(We hear the phone slammed down.

The camera turns and moves into the office. It is mostly empty. The furniture, except for Eddie’s desk, is all gone. A few cardboard boxes litter the floor, overflowing with papers and other hastily packed-up junk.

We now see EDDIE VALIANT standing behind his desk, rubbing his face in frustration. He then grabs the phone and yanks the cord out of the back. He drops the phone into a cardboard box.

EDDIE picks up the only item still left on the desk: we cut to over his shoulder to see it is a framed photograph and him and Doris at the beach. EDDIE sighs. He places the photograph into the box gently.)

[STUDIO NOTE: Just got off the phone with Hoskins’ agent. Turns out he died five years ago. Thoughts on recasting … Cumberbatch? Redmayne? Maybe we do the gender flip thing. That puppet movie tanked, maybe we can get Melissa McCarthy cheap?) ]

(EDDIE looks around, making sure he isn’t leaving anything behind. He opens a drawer in his desk, and it is filled with empty whiskey bottles. He slams it shut, then opens another drawer: also full of empty bottles. He picks one up. There is still a bit of brown booze sloshing around inside.

EDDIE sighs. He turns and opens the window of his office, pauses, then reaches out and pours the booze out into the air. He leans out the window to watch the liquid fall, then nods.)

ROGER RABBIT (voice only, offscreen): Ain’t you gonna drink that?

(EDDIE looks up. ROGER is clinging to the side of the building outside the window above.)

ROGER: Hi Eddie!

(Startled, EDDIE slams his head on the window frame, then falls backwards, toppling over his desk.)

(ROGER pokes his head down from above the window.)

ROGER: You’re not a toon, Eddie. You’re gonna hurt yourself doing that.

(EDDIE stands up. Enraged, he reaches over and grabs ROGER by the neck, yanking the rabbit into the office. ROGER chokes and gasps. EDDIE throws ROGER to the floor.)

EDDIE: Roger, what the hell are you doing out there?!

ROGER: I couldn’t come in the front door, Eddie. They might see me!

EDDIE: They? Who is “they”?

(ROGER looks around the office, realizes it is mostly empty.)

ROGER: Where’s all your stuff, Eddie?

EDDIE: I’m leavin’. This town don’t want me here.

ROGER: Where are you going?

EDDIE: Who knows. Albuquerque, Cucamonga, Palookaville … doesn’t matter. Anywhere but here.

ROGER: P-p-p-p-p-p-p-leeeeese, Eddie! You can’t leave, we need you!

EDDIE: Who’s “we”? Judge Doom got dipped and washed down the gutter, the toons now own Toontown, and from what I hear, your old lady got herself elected mayor.

ROGER: But Eddie, that’s why I’m here. Weasels are trying to kill my beloved Jessica!

EDDIE: Oh Roger, you’re just being paranoid.

ROGER: I don’t thiiiiiiiiiink sooooooo! They caught one, Eddie, and shot him to Mars! But there could be more. Dozens of ’em! Thousands of ’em! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-billions of ’em!

EDDIE: I remember seein’ a rocket blasted from Toontown yesterday. There was a weasel strapped to that thing?

(ROGER grabs EDDIE by the arm and starts dragging him towards the window.)

ROGER: P-p-p-p-p-p-p-leeeeese, Eddie! We gotta go to Toontown! You gotta help us! Come on, Eddie!

(ROGER jumps out the window.)

EDDIE: I am not leaving my own office by the damn window!

(EDDIE looks at the office door, then the window, back to the door, then sighs unhappily.)

EDDIE: I hate toons.

(EDDIE turns and jumps out the window.)


Roles

TOONTOWN

The Toontown faction wins the game when all weasels are dead and ???‘s secret identity has been revealed.

  • 12 Vanilla Town: No night actions.
  • 1 Investigator: Must investigate the faction of one player as a night action.
  • 1 Jailer: Must choose another player to put in jail, protecting their target from all other night actions. Cannot pick the same target on consecutive nights. The jailed player is unable to use their night action if they have one.
  • 2 Town Drunks: May choose to put themselves in jail as a night action, protecting them from all other night actions. A Town Drunk may only use their power ONCE during the game. and at that time, the Jailer will be informed of their identity. A Town Drunk’s action cannot be blocked. If the Jailer is killed by scum on the same night a Town Drunk is in jail, the Town Drunk is also killed, regardless of whether the Drunk self-jailed or was put there by the Jailer. The Town Drunks share a QT.

FORMER TOON PATROL (WEASELS)

The Weasels faction wins the game when the number of weasel players equals the number of Toontown players and ???‘s secret identity has been revealed.

  • Smarty Weasel: Must block the night action of a non-weasel player. Cannot target the same person two nights in a row.
  • Psycho Weasel: Has access to a number of secret “Psycho Schemes”. Once per night, this weasel must choose a Scheme and a player to give this Scheme to. Any player is eligible to receive a Scheme, including weasels.
  • Wheezy Weasel: Inherits the unused Psycho Schemes if the Psycho Weasel is killed.
  • Greasy Weasel: If investigated, the result returns as “Toon”.

???

  • An evil monstrosity has been set free in Toontown. It is hungry.

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Rules

-You cannot edit any of your posts.

-No quoting or screencapping from QTs. Do not ask other players about their QTs in an attempt to figure out what role they have.

-All night actions are mandatory (except for one-shot actions such as the Town Drunk).

-If a day ends in a tie vote, a random player will be chosen from all living players and killed (weighted towards the tied players and those who didn’t vote that day).

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Players

1.The Hayes Code // Prysma Starshimmer
2.Hohopossum // Captain Cavepossum
3.sic humor // Goofy
4.Admirax // Cuphead
5.Lindsay // Scooby Doo and Shaggy
6.Mayelbridwen // Hattie the Heffalump
7.Doctor Nick // Doctor Nick
8.April // Teen Girl Squad (SMARTY WEASEL)
9.Queen Light // Elsa and Anna
10.Snugglewumps // Linda Belcher
11.Colonel Mustard // Penfold
12.MacCrocodile // Gertie the Dinosaur
13.Jake // Geoff the Tree (again)
14.Josephus Brown // Koko the Clown
15.Lord Stoneheart // Kyle
16.Grumproro // Lemongrab
17.Lamb Dance // Pikachu
18.Little Miss Giggle Fits // Dot Warner
19.DW // Peter B. Parker
20.Mr.ImMyOwnGrandfather // Yakko Warner
21.Captain Video // Killjoy

BACKUPS

Subsaharan
Louie Blue
Spiny Creature

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VanillaQT

You are a TOONTOWN TOON (VANILLA TOWN). Your goal is to eliminate the Weasels and uncover the secret identity of ???. You win when your faction achieves its goal, even if you’re dead.

highly recommend choosing the “Get Email” option on this thread, because a lot is going to be happening at night in this game. Something might happen to you even though you have a vanilla role.

*Please reply to this QT to confirm that you’ve seen it.*

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Day One

Day Two ends on Tuesday, 1/29 at 10:00 AM PST (1:00 PM EST), or if a majority vote is reached first.