George lies to Susan’s parents about owning a house in the Hamptons and the lie spins out of control. Elaine suspects her boyfriend is Black. Kramer retires to Florida. Jerry buys his father a pocket organiser.

Written by: Steve Lookner
Directed by: Andy Ackerman

When a long-running show is coming to an end, it’s tempting to see the final stretch of episodes as a kind of commentary on the show itself. George’s story in this particular episode feels like a true culmination of the character, not only because it is particularly absurd – the writers must have been using both barrels in this stretch of the show, knowing it was coming to an end – but also because it finally simply zigs instead of zagging. One recurring note people have about this show is that almost every problem could be resolved with a small moment of assertiveness; if they’d simply had an honest conversation about whatever, the plot wouldn’t happen (this, in fact, is explicitly brought up in Elaine’s story – by George, of all people).

At first glance, George and the Rosses egging each other on with the lie is an exaggeration of the minor social embarrassment farce that generally drives the show; the staggering dichotomy between the amount of effort the lie requires to maintain and the necessity of it is. to use a phrase, fucking hilarious. A fundamental aspect of George’s character is trying to make reality fit the way he wants through sheer, relentless effort – in a way, being the craziest guy in the room – and having them be willing to follow him (literally!) all the way on it is great. Even better, though, is the final scene, where someone simply and honestly shares their feelings and intentions, and everybody basically agrees this makes sense and goes home. So much of the show is about people nitpicking language in agreements with lawyer-like focus, trying to get what they want without giving up dignity. Someone baldly stating their motivations automatically wins this and George knows it.

Meanwhile, Elaine’s plot brings race into the mix of their social analysis in a funny way. People of colour – particularly American POCs – have long expressed exasperation with white people’s interest in their personal heritage, so this whole plot tickles me; Elaine knows she can’t straight up ask, but she also can’t put it out of her head either (love that Jerry puts it in her head). I particularly enjoy the level of detail they bring to clues about Darryl’s possible heritage and the way they slip away from your expectations; in particular, Darryl not quite nailing down his family’s role in the conflict in South Africa. I’m thinking now that Seinfeld sits in this very specific perspective where the show is willing to talk about tough subjects but also doesn’t even think once about making a meaningful statement, even in the halfassed way Family Guy does (which invariably only reveals the show’s disinterest in taking a real stand). You can also compare it to the apolitical nature of Futurama, which actively says “I don’t know” as opposed to not asking a question in the first place, and Seinfeld ages better than even Futurama on this level.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• “Darryl! These are… people I know.”
• On Puddy: “I think his answering machine’s broken, so I just gave up.”
• “Well, you know, I’ve been lying about my income for a while now, I figure I can afford a fake house in the Hamptons.”
• Kramer retires specifically because his coffee table book is optioned for a movie. I forgot this detail, and I love that it doesn’t actually come back at the end.
• “Bought myself a retirement gift. Gold watch.” / “Oooh!” / “It’s not really gold.” / “Awww…”
• “They’re African!” Great delivery from Samuel Bliss Cooper there. He’s hilariously earnest all through this.
• “It’s five-thirty in the morning!” / “We let you sleep in!” I stayed with my mother the weekend before I wrote this essay, and that hit harder than it should have.
• “If I ask him, then it’s like I really wanna know.” Great delivery from JLD, and even better gesture after. She also puts her whole back into the derisive laughter after being asked about George’s house in the Hamptons.
• “We’ll round down.”
• “Even so, the press would bury him.” / “What press?”
• Kramer touching Morty’s face is great.
• “Who are they running against?” / “Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair.”
• “Remember, ma’am, a vote for me is a vote for Kramer.”
• “They’re upset coz we’re an interracial couple!”
• “You wanna get nuts? Come on, let’s get nuts!” Obviously, a reference to the 1989 Batman film directed by Tim Burton.
• “Yes, two solariums.”
• “ALRIGHT, WE’RE TAKIN’ IT UP A NOTCH!”
• “I’m Black?” / “Aren’t you?” / “I’ll give you a couple minutes to decide.”
• “I don’t think we should be talking about this.”
• “So… we’re just a couple of white people?”

Biggest Laugh: Part of the reason the characters degraded in this season is because abject, senseless cruelty can be incredibly funny, and this crushes it down like a chair leg on a foot.

Next Week: “The Burning”.