Jerry is hurt that his masseuse girlfriend hasn’t given him a massage and George obsesses over the fact that she doesn’t like him. Elaine dates a man with the same name as an infamous serial killer.

Written by: Peter Mehlman
Directed by: Tom Cherones

This episode manages to hit on the exact same classic Seinfeld theme in two entirely different ways. If Seinfeld has a theme, it’s that all our relationships have weird unspoken rules and expectations, but they’re significantly less coded than romantic and sexual ones, to the point that it’s often easier just to transfer the romantic ones over. Like, part of the comic absurdity of Jerry treating his masseuse girlfriend like a sex worker that won’t have sex with him is that we get where he’s coming from; it is a bit strange that she’d give Kramer massages before she even suggests giving Jerry one, and it’s equally as sensible that she wouldn’t want to, and indeed that it would violate some kind of class solidarity to make a worker work off the clock. In a way, this may be the ultimate expression of the show mining humour out of the chasm between what we personally want and our desire to fit in socially.

Meanwhile, George has the absurdity of obsessing over the fact that Jerry’s girlfriend doesn’t like him. Now, George ignoring his actual girlfriend in favour of trying to impress someone who doesn’t like him at all is something of a cliche – though admittedly this may be the creation of a cliche that I’m too young and naive to recognise. But regardless, the way this plays out feels totally unique. George’s behaviour and thinking is deranged even by his standards; I think it’s his total self-awareness and weird, even uncharacteristic lack of shame about desperately wanting to be liked. When Karen point blank asks him if he needs to be liked by everybody, his YES!!! feels like an articulation of what he’s been carrying the whole episode.

Everything he does after that explosion ends up hitting this ridiculous Venn diagram, where it’s all at once the exact opposite of what you should do, exactly what George Costanza would do, and the funniest thing he could do. He doesn’t just abandon his girlfriend for a woman who hates him – he dismisses her. He doesn’t just beg said woman for a chance; he accepts, with total world-weariness, that he’s going to keep pursuing her. Jason Alexander’s performance is masterful in these scenes; this is the closest George will ever come to dignity.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• This opens with Jerry keeping track of the last time he vomited, though this isn’t the one actually about that.
• “I’d look through that window and scream at them to shut the blinds.”
• Great moments in blocking: Kramer walks in, joins the conversation, takes a bizarre amount of paper towel, and walks straight out.
• “It’s like going to Idaho and eating carrots!”
• At one point, Jodie uses the phrase “What’s the deal?”
• This has the plot about Elaine dating a man with the same name as a serial killer, leading to the infamously shortsighted gag in which she suggests OJ as an alternative. I also think the plot turn of Kramer causing Joel’s name to be announced at the baseball game is a classic example Seinfeld throwing a curveball at us.
• “Jerry, she rubs with love.”
• “Ned’s a guy who buys irregular underwear!”

Biggest Laugh: “What were her exact wor–” / “I don’t like him.”

Next Week: “The Cigar-Store Indian”