Jerry, George, and Elaine attend George’s girlfriend’s piano recital, and Jerry causes Elaine to laugh by putting a Pez dispenser on her lap, upsetting the pianist. George tries breaking up with his girlfriend to gain ‘hand’ in the relationship. Jerry gets pulled into a drug intervention for a friend. Kramer goes ‘polar bear’ swimming and comes up with an idea for a cologne that smells like the beach.

Written by: Larry David
Directed by: Tom Cherones

There have been a lot of sitcoms about how relationships can be constant plays for power, and none of them are anywhere near as insightful as the plot with George this episode. I love that this opens with him genuinely (and endearingly) enthused by his girlfriend’s intelligence and the joy he has spending time with her, because it makes his pettiness look even worse; I think if you asked George why specifically he wanted ‘hand’ and what he would use it for, you wouldn’t really get an answer. I think what he really wants is the same thing he always wants: to feel as comfortable and powerful as humanly possible.

Meanwhile, I enjoy how Seinfeld‘s complete lack of formula frees it up to explore all sorts of ideas within a single episode. Going back to other sitcoms, I’ve seen people defend the concept for formulaic storytelling in that it draws attention to the details, which I always thought was bullshit; the real pleasure of formula is in knowing exactly what’s going to happen, and all good formulaic fiction doubles down on that. Here, we have a very tightly written plot – Elaine goes to the recital with Jerry, Jerry makes Elaine laugh, Elaine goes outside to calm down, Elaine meets John, John tells Elaine about the intervention.

On paper, that all sounds fairly banal and realistic, which makes the absurd dialogue and details even funnier, and allows the writers to cram in as much as possible simply because it’s a logical time for the characters to talk about what they’re talking about. I think in particular of an early example of Elaine being The Woman of the group in that she has to deal with a guy she’s not into hitting on her. It’s incredibly minor in the episode, but it’s a thematic thread that will build up as the show uses her to explore banal social problems of women in a way I’ve noticed has aged well. Simple, unpretentious plotting allows that kind of thing to pop up.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• “You think they have fleas there, don’t you?” / “No, no.” / “Yes you do, Biff.”
• To make me look like an idiot, this episode does also have a few more sitcommy lines than normal. I think especially of the very Gilligan’s Island joke (“He really respects you, Jerry.” / “These things are really hard to load.”) and the bit at the end where Noel owns George (“You can’t break up with me! I’ve got hand!” / “And you’re gonna need it!”).
• Kramer’s idea for a cologne that smells like the beach has become reality. Never underestimate the consumer’s need for absolutely anything.
• The discussion before the intervention is like every single family argument before every single family task I have ever endured.
• It’s very Seinfeld to just skip over the serious bit of the episode. Always good to know what you won’t show as well as what you will show on a, uh, show.

Biggest Laugh: George’s insufferable smugness during this whole scene kills me.