WW 192- Welcome to Were-peture Science, Day One

You gradually gain consciousness. You are in a bed in a small chamber. The walls are white and barren. A single camera mounted on the wall high above you stares down at you with its unblinking eye.

“Hello,” says a feminine robotic voice, her tone somehow both calming and vaguely unsettling, “and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment and Testing Center. We hope your brief involuntary detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.”

You blink. You’re not sure how long you’ve been asleep. You’re not sure you even remember going to sleep. There was something about a phone book and sixty dollars and hobos and…

“Unfortunately subjects who remain in periods of suspended animation longer than one month tend to experience minor cognitive issues. You, however, have been in suspension for… somewhat longer than that by several orders of magnitude. As a result you may have experienced some extremely minor massive brain damage. In order to ensure the integrity of the testing process, we will now ensure you meet all the criteria for a fully-functioning test subject.”

A portal appears on the wall. Through it you can see another room.

“Please step through the inter-dimensional quantum tunneled opening into the next chamber. We assure you that the Aperture Science Quantum Tunneled Portals have proven to be completely safe, with the extremely rare exception of test subjects with *kkkssssshhhhhttt* who under no circumstances should use them.”

Lacking a better idea, you step through the portal.

“Excellent,” the disembodied voice says as the portal vanishes. “Please note that a minor taste of blood is not part of the test, but merely a semi-rare side effect of the trans-portaling process.” You are now in a slightly larger chamber with an extremely large red button on the floor. Another camera watches you intently high up on a wall. “Now, please activate the 1500 Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super-Button any way you see fit.”

You push it. A door opens in the far wall.

“Perfect. You have met all the cognitive and physical criteria for a testing subject. Please proceed swiftly to the chamber lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test.”

You stumble into a massive chamber, the door closes behind you, and you find yourself with over a dozen other people.

“Welcome to the Aperture Science Co-operative Testing Initiative. In the interests of scientific advancement, the purpose of these tests is to determine how well test subjects are able to cooperate to solve complex problems while being picked off one by one by killer androids disguised as humans intent on subverting that cooperation. Previous iterations of this test suggested that they cannot.”

The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants, so in the interests of safety, the androids have been taught to read, and supplied with a copy of Isaac Asimov’s Rules of Robotics… To share. If, at the end of the testing, you feel that your rights and/or internal organs have not been respected by the androids, please fill out a comment card. At the conclusion of the test, cake and grief counseling will be available. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.”

The panels making up the walls reconfigure themselves into ledges, platforms, pits, and several laser cannons.

“Good luck, test subjects. Remember, in the event of the unthinkable, you can donate one or all of your organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund For Girls.”

You all look at each other with suspicion.

  1. MacCrocodile
  2. April
  3. Mrs. Queequeg
  4. MSD
  5. Lamb
  6. Wasp
  7. The Hayes Code
  8. Lindsay
  9. Marlowe
  10. Raven and Rose
  11. Chumjoely
  12. Cork
  13. Flubba
  14. Indy
  15. Abby
  16. Side Character


11 Vanilla Test Subjects- You have no power but your vote, unless you get one. In which case you’ll have that one too.

1 Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device- Can be used to unexpectedly transport yourself or someone else, potentially getting them out of harm’s way but also probably confusing them. Cannot be used on same target on consecutive nights. (Town Jailer)

1 Oracle Turret- Not sure where you found this thing. It’s supposed to be murdering you, but instead it just whispers weirdly prescient facts. Can be asked each night about a fellow Test Subject, will tell you what item they have. (Town investigator)


1 Fact Core- Spouts an endless stream of useless facts. Each night can distract one player, making them forget to take an action. (Wolf roleblocker)

1 Curiosity Core- Spurs you to poke around other people’s belongings. Each night can target one person. If they have an item, you find out what it is, what it does, and have the choice of stealing it (with the exception of the Portal Device or the Oracle Turret.) If you steal it, you can hold on to it or hand it off to Wheatley. If you hold onto it, you can’t steal another until you use it. If you die, one of the other wolves can take this core. Any item used by wolves will be destroyed after one use.

Wheatley- Formerly an intelligence dampening core, now retrofit into an android body. You are not merely a moron, you are the result of the greatest minds of a generation tirelessly working to create the biggest moron possible. You cannot be detected unless you have an item. When you use them, it will be… Interesting.


Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube- Somehow you feel safer with this around. However, at the first sign of danger, you will sacrifice your cube to save yourself, you monster. If the cube could speak (And Aperture Science would like to take this opportunity to remind you that it cannot), it would tell you that it would rather die horribly than know that it stood idly by while its only friend in this world was injured.

Aperture Science Encouragement Laser Redirection Cube- This multi-mirrored cube can be used to redirect an action. Name two people each night, and any night actions performed on one will target the other, and vice versa. Cannot target the same players on consecutive nights.

Aperture Science Perpetual Testing Initiative Universal Multiverse Shuffler- Once, can be used to flip through the multiverse to find one where nobody is being murdered that day, giving a daykill reprieve. Almost entirely guaranteed not to accidentally land on a universe where someone was never born. (Note: Guarantee is not a guarantee)

Repulsion Gel- A sticky blue substance that causes anyone and anything to rebound off it at high speed. Can be applied to a different player each night, making any of the night actions targeting them reflect back at the originator. Cannot be used on the same person more than once, because it will cause horrific bone cancer. We don’t know what element it is yet, but it’s a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.

Aperture Laboratories Official Certified Pre-Owned Equipment Reclamation Ticket- Can be used once to receive a factory reconditioned, guaranteed-to-function piece of authentic Aperture Science testing equipment. (Note: Guarantee is not a guarantee) Will receive a used up or previously eliminated item from this list at random, though it may malfunction.

Twilight will be at 7 pm CST on Monday, 9/12