You are now entering Ad Space, a realm of commercials, brought before us so we might examine how they work, and discuss why we both love and hate them so. So it is written …

The Product:
The Potty Putter

The Promotion:

The Pitch:
Finally, a way to practice your putting during the many, many hours you spend on the toilet each day.

I’m just … I have a hard time wrapping my head around this product. But then, I’ve never understood reading while you’re on the toilet, either. Am I just a fast pooper? How long are people spending on the can that they need recreation to help pass the time?

The ad itself seems to be aware that a lot of people will feel the same way, so it encourages people to prolong how much time they spend on the toilet, thus justifying the Potty Putter’s existence. “When you’re bored in the bathroom, you rush, and …. that’s unhealthy.”

Which I have not found any evidence to support, by the way. Just the opposite: doctors encourage people not to spend more than a few minutes sitting on the toilet, what with hemorrhoids and all that.

But even putting that aside, the dudes in this commercial better hope their putting skills translate to other sorts of aim, otherwise that putting green is gonna get urine soaked mighty fast.

And I have to think that at least some of the people making this ad shared my skepticism about the Potty Putter. It’s the awkward pauses in the narration, plus lines like, “He’ll relax and think of you every time he … ‘practices putting’.”

I’m not just imagining that there’s some mockery slipping through, right? Right?