Writers’ Guac – Worst Novel Opening

Welcome to this week’s round of Writers’ Guac. Here was the prompt for submissions:

Write the opening to the worst novel ever

This can be a sentence, a paragraph, a few paragraphs, whatever you like.

Post your submissions below. A brief reminder of the rules:

  • Constructive criticism is opt-in. Specify in your post if you would welcome constructive criticism. Do not offer criticism if not requested.

Here is the prompt for the next round’s submissions (Open at 2 PM Eastern on August 27):

Write a letter like you were writing home from the war, but from a mundane or unusual situation

Have fun, everyone! And also check out the previous installment (New Policy).

If you have other writing to share with The Avocado, or want to see others’ work, be sure to check out the Creative Endeavors thread, posted each Tuesday at 9 AM Eastern.