Good morning, everyone. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and ninety Europeans are pretending that musicals are still regularly made in Hollywood. All awards shows are dumb, but I have special affection for the Golden Globes, the dumbest of them all. Let’s see if they are able to nominate a bunch of good movies, a bunch of dumb movies, and a bunch of movies that don’t exist yet.
Best Television Series- Musical/Comedy
Emily in Paris
The Flight Attendant
The Great
Schitt’s Creek
Ted Lasso
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series- Drama
Jason Bateman- Ozark
Josh O’Connor- The Crown
Bob Odenkirk- Better Call Saul
Al Pacino- Hunters
Matthew Rhys- Perry Mason
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series
Cate Blanchett- Mrs. America
Daisy Edgar Jones- Normal People
Shira Haas- Unorthodox
Nicole Kidman- The Undoing
Anya Taylor-Joy- The Queen’s Gambit
Best Director
Emerald Fennell- Promising Young Woman
David Fincher- Mank
Regina King- One Night in Miami
Aaron Sorkin- The Trial of the Chicago 7
Chloe Zhao- Nomadland
Best Actress- Funny
Maria Bakalova- Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Kate Hudson- Music (what the fuck????)
Michelle Pfeiffer- French Exit (hell yeah)
Rosamund Pike- I Care A Lot
Anya Taylor-Joy- Emma. (YES)
Best Actor- Sad
Riz Ahmed- Sound of Metal
Chadwick Boseman- Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
Anthony Hopkins- The Father
Gary Oldman- Mank
Tahar Rahim- The Mauritanian
Best TV- Drama
The Crown
Lovecraft Country
The Mandalorian
Ozark
Ratched
Best Performance by an Actress- TV Drama
Olivia Colman- The Crown
Jodie Comer- Killing Eve
Emma Corman- The Crown
Laura Linney- Ozark
Sarah Paulson- Ratched
Best Actor- Limited Series
Bryan Cranston- Your Honor
Jeff Daniels- The Commie Rule
Hugh Grant- The Undoing
Ethan Hawke- The Good Lord Bird
Mark Ruffalo- I Know This Much is True
Best Actor- Musical/Comedy Film
Sacha Baron Cohen- Burrat Subsequent Moviefilm
James Corden- The Prom
Lin-Manuel Miranda- Hamilton
Dev Patel- The Personal History of David Copperfield (yay)
Andy Samberg- Palm Springs
Best Actress- Drama Film
Viola Davis- Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom
Andra Day- The United States vs. Billie Holiday
Vanessa Kirby- Pieces of a Woman
Frances McDormand- Nomadland
Cherry Mulligan- Promising Young Woman
Best Picture- Drama
The Father
Mank
Nomadland
Promising Young Woman
The Trial of the Chicago 7
Best Supporting Actor- Film
Sacha Baron Cohen- The Trial of the Chicago 7
Daniel Kaluuya- Judas and the Black Messiah
Jared Leto- The Little Things
Bill Murray- On The Rocks
Leslie Odom Jr.- One Night in Miami
Best Original Score
The Midnight Sky
Tenet
News of the World
Mank
Soul
Best Actress- TV Comedy
Lily Collins- Emily in Paris
Kaley Cuoco- The Flight Attendant
Elle Fanning- The Great
Jane Levy- Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
Catherine O’Hara- Schitt’s Creek
Best Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Normal People
The Queen’s Gambit
Small Axe
The Undoing
Unorthodox
Best Supporting Actor- TV
John Boyega- Small Axe
Brendan Gleeson- The Comey Rule
Dan Levy- Schitt’s Creek
Jim Parsons- Hollywood
Donald Sutherland- The Undoing
Best Motion Picture- Musical/Comedy
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Hamilton
Palm Springs
Music
The Prom
Best Supporting Actress- Film
Glenn Close- Hillbilly Elegy
Olivia Colman- The Father
Jodie Foster- The Mauritanian
Amanda Seyfried- Mank
Helena Zengel- News of the World
Best Motion Picture- Foreign Language
Another Round
La Llorona
The Life Ahead
Minari
Two of Us
Best Screenplay- Motion Picture (you split actors and you can’t split screenplays?)
Promising Young Woman
Mank
The Trial of the Chicago 7
The Father
Nomadland
Best Actor- TV Musical/Comedy
Don Cheadle- Black Monday
Nicholas Hoult- The Great
Eugene Levy- Schitt’s Creek
Jason Sudeikis- Ted Lasso
Ramy Youssef- Ramy
Best Supporting Actress- TV
Gillian Anderson- The Crown
Helena Bonham Carter- The Crown
Julia Garner- Ozark
Annie Murphy- Schitt’s Creek
Cynthia Nixon- Ratched
Best Original Song- Motion Picture
“Fight for You” from “Judas and the Black Messiah” (Warner Bros.) – H.E.R., Dernst Emile II, Tiara Thomas
“Hear My Voice” from “The Trial of the Chicago 7” (Netflix) – Daniel Pemberton, Celeste
“Io Si (Seen)” from “The Life Ahead” (Netflix) – Diane Warren, Laura Pausini, Niccolò Agliardi
“Speak Now” from “One Night in Miami” (Amazon Studios) – Leslie Odom Jr, Sam Ashworth “Tigress & Tweed” from “The United States vs. Billie Holliday” (Hulu)
Best Motion Picture- Animated
The Croods: A New Age
Onward
Over the Moon
Soul
Wolfwalkers