The 5th Annual Dare Me to Write a Terrible Artist Spotlight Challenge

Can you believe it, Avocados? Our fifth year of this cynical series, this cavalcade of haterade. Sometimes I wonder what this says about us. About whether it represents some deep-seated self-loathing to extract such amusement from a deliberate, ongoing, mean-spirited effort at tearing down the work of dedicated artists, whose only sin was to offend our idiosyncratic collective musical tastes. Perhaps we should turn our jaded viewpoint inward, and ask if this twisted desire to troll, to celebrate grievance, is worth maintaining. Perhaps the terrible artist is truly us.

Anyway.

A quick rundown of the history of this challenge. It began in 2016, when I profiled ringtone rapper Soulja Boy. The subsequent year brought celebrity vanity act Dogstar, followed by the reprehensible screamo band brokeNCYDE, and last year’s entry, awful mainstream pop rockers Train — the most popular entry in this series, making Train the least popular band we’ve encountered.

Who will 2020’s terrible artist be? Whose crummy discography will I spend the next week absorbing? Who will assault our eardrums with their failed lyrics and hackneyed beats, while we laugh until tears of joy and self-hatred stream from our eyes unabated?? WHO?!?!?

Make your nominations below. I’ll write up the winner* some time next week. Overtly racist or otherwise unacceptable entries (e.g., Charles Manson) will not be considered. The artist with the most upvotes by EOB tomorrow wins. And we all lose.