Ah yes, the Fourth of July slow down. We’ve hit that time of year when everyone forgets that video games exist to take a few days to relax in the pool, grill up some hot dogs, and enjoy some time with family and friends while watching a spectacular fireworks show. I mean, I guess we’d be doing those things if COVID-19 wasn’t still ravaging our planet. Still, there’s not a whole lot coming this week, so use this time to finish Last of Us Part II, Final Fantasy VII Remake, Doom Eternal, etc., etc.
Top Releases:
Marvel’s Iron Man VR (PSVR) – Releases Jul. 3rd
There was a lot of talk about 2018’s Spider-Man being a game where you really “felt like Spider-Man” because the controls were so real and fluid that you almost forgot you were playing a video game, and it wasn’t even in VR; what a shame! Well, now thanks to the mighty power of virtual reality, you can really “feel” like Iron Man when you put on your bulky helmet and fly around the skies in this brand new game for the PSVR that is collecting dust in the corner of your living room. I wish they still made games for the Kinect.
Hunting Simulator 2 (PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Jun. 30th (PC & Switch later this year)
I would make a joke about how playing this game is as close as you can get to hunting outdoors due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but anyone who likes to hunt defenseless animals for sport is already likely calling the virus a hoax, that masks are a ploy by the ANTIFA to make us all suffocate in Wal-Mart, and that Dr. Fauci is a puppet of the one world government that is trying to subjugate God-fearing Americans. Enjoy those Fourth of July BBQ’s!
TrackMania (PC – Epic Games Store) – Releases Jul. 1st
This is some kind of re-boot, re-release, of a ten year old Ubisoft property, I think. Based on the Google searches I did for this game, it still has a fairly passionate community of users, so that’s nice. If you loved making Hot Wheels tracks as a kid then I guess this is as close to the real thing you can get without actually turning your living room into a jungle that your wife or husband will undoubtedly get annoyed with, causing them to question what they ever saw in you. “My mother warned me about you“, they’d think to themselves while looking at their phone playing some kind of cooking game that looks fucking stupid to you, but they love, for some reason, even though we have several, SEVERAL, video game consoles hooked up with access to a library of critically acclaimed titles that people would be very jealous of. Okay? They’d be in fucking awe at what you have access to, but instead you just sit there and tap, tap, tap, tap away at that inane bullshit, it drives me fucking crazy! I also hate that lamp, the light is so god damn harsh, I hate soft white, how is this not bothering you?!?
The Otterman Empire (PC/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Jul. 2nd
I was all set to shit on this game, but then I started thinking about how real people worked on this and they likely spent a lot of time making it. They’re probably proud of their work and here I am, some guy just ready to knock the whole thing on its ass and call it garbage. Who am I to judge, eh? What gives me the god damn right to be a dick to these people. They made a game, I’ve never done that. I’m going to buy twelve copies and gift them to my family and they better play it.
Ports and Re-releases:
The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III (Switch) – Releases Jun. 30th
Enjoy this JRPG about going to school, during the Summer, but it’s not Summer in the game, it’s Summer in real life, in a world where going to school may not be an option in the Fall, or Summer, but again, not in the game world but our real life world. Do you understand what I’m saying?
Everything else:
Biped (Switch) – Releases Jul. 2nd (Released for PC back in March)
Keen – One Girl Army (Switch) – Releases Jul. 2nd (Released for PC last week)
Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:
We’ve got an odd little assortment of notable titles this week, including, an open world super-cop simulator, a 3d platformer starring a famous Nintendo character, and a GameBoy game starring a not-so-famous Capcom character.
Crackdown 2 (Xbox 360) – Released Jul. 6th, 2010: Wiki Link
The Crackdown series is a bit baffling because, while there are now three of them, I don’t really know a lot of people who played them, let alone wanted more of it. Yet there we were on July 6th, 2010, faced with a sequel to 2007’s Crackdown, a modestly selling open world action game that, unlike GTA, had you playing as the police instead of the criminals. You mileage may vary on your appreciate for games that feature the police as protagonists (particularly in light of current events), but the game does at least position you as a cop who doesn’t take too kindly to oppressive, authority figures (even in your own organization, spoiler alert). Another thing this game was missing in comparison to GTA, or even the more similarly toned Saint’s Row, was the fun factor. Crackdown 2, like it’s predecessor, is just a boring game to play. It’s generic down to its bones, from a no-name protagonist, to a nondescript city, to nameless (and sometimes faceless, due to poor graphics) enemies, to a HUD and pause screen that look less exciting than the menus on my cable box. I don’t really have much else to say on this game because it was just not a pleasant experience in any capacity. Oh, well I guess the best thing about it is that the game is absolutely free to play; so if you want to explore Generic Town, USA and get a headache from all the ugly graphics and poor controls, then feel free to just dive right in!
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (N64) – Released Jun. 26th, 2000: Wiki Link
HAL Laboratory’s famous pink puffball is one of Nintendo’s biggest stars and a true staple of the video game industry. Generally perceived as a series for younger players, I actually found this game to be quite difficult at times, particularly when fighting bosses, despite Wikipedia claiming that this title was criticized for being too easy. To the critics’ point, I don’t think you can ever really get a game over, you just keep trying over and over again until you finish, but there is a lot of potential grinding here that can be pretty frustrating, especially to young kids. In any case, this isn’t really supposed to be a review, let’s get back on track. Development of the game began in 1997 and, like many late era Nintendo 64 games, it was originally intended to be part of the 64DD add-on system. Poor sales of the device in Japan led to it being discontinued, and outright cancelled in North America, so development of Kirby 64 would shift over to the N64 proper. Like Mario, Link, and Donkey Kong before him, Kirby was now being transitioned into the 3D realm, giving the team at HAL a whole new dimension to work in. However, the team decided not to put Kirby in the grand, open environments seen in the likes of Super Mario 64, instead keeping him firmly in the 2.5D space, as that seemed to make the most sense from a gameplay perspective. After being announced at E3 in 1999, Kirby 64 finally hit store shelves on June 26th, 2000, garnering praise from most game critics. The game was given high points for its controls, top notch visuals, and old school aesthetics, but was knocked for its relatively short play time and lack of challenge. The game sold over a million copies worldwide, but those numbers paled in comparison to other Nintendo characters whose games would sell 5 to 10 times more than that. Heck, it didn’t even sell as many copies as Excitebike 64. Kirby creator Masahiro Sakurai decided to take a hands off approach to this game, citing that he didn’t want to poison the developers vision. Could his influence have helped sales? Who knows, Smash Bros. hadn’t made him a household name yet, so it’s hard to say what, if any, difference he would have made. While Kirby would show up on the GameCube in both Smash Bros. Melee and Kirby Air Ride, he wouldn’t get a proper console platformer until 2010’s spin-off Kirby’s Epic Yarn, and a mainline series console follow-up wouldn’t come until 2011’s Kirby’s Return To Dreamland. I think the little puffball has gotten a bit more love over the years, but perhaps his cute demeanor and “kid friendly” persona keep the more “hardcore” gamer away. Don’t be like that, play a Kirby game, they’re almost always a good time.
Gargoyle’s Quest (GameBoy) – Released Jul. 1990: Wiki Link
Growing up I associated the GameBoy with a few titles; Tetris, Super Mario Land, Metorid II, Kirby’s Dream Land, and Gargoyle’s Quest. Maybe it was the cute cartoon mascot, but I was always jealous of kids who had a GameBoy because that meant they got to go on adventures with this cool little monster. Little did I, and likely most gamers, know that the main character, Firebrand, was actually a character from the Ghosts ‘n Goblins series. By the time the 1992 NES sequel had come out I was over it, turned off by the new, ugly look that the artwork depicted, and when 1994’s Demon’s Crest came out I was old enough to think the design was cool, but had no idea it was part of the Gargoyle’s Quest series, so I ignored it. All in all, I missed out on a lot growing up, partly because we didn’t have a lot of money, but also because things were just so much more confusing back then. Japanese games wouldn’t get localized properly, or the publishers would think that their cultural touchstones wouldn’t translate to a Western audience, so things would sometime get muddy when they finally got to us. Okay, so what is this game about, you might be asking. Well, the young gargoyle Firebrand learns that he is in line to become the next Red Blaze, a powerful demon that will protect the Ghoul Realm from The Destroyers. However, before he can become the Red Blaze, Firebrand must go on a quest to gain power and knowledge, to make sure he is strong enough to take on Breager, the king of The Destroyers. Played in two modes, Gargoyle’s Quest has you traversing an overworld map, while encountering random battles and entering dungeons. When you enter a battle or dungeons the perspective shifts to side scrolling platform stages, with Firebrand having to navigate tricky passageways while fighting various creatures who are intent on stopping him. Critics loved the game, with some even calling it the GameBoy’s killer app. With the system only being about a year old in North America, Gargoyle’s Quest was seen as the game that finally let hardcore gamers know this was a system they needed to pick up. The game had high marks in all aspects; sound, controls, graphics, gameplay, design, it was a real testament to what this little console could do. Gargoyle’s Quest was one of several GameBoy titles to release in the Summer of 1990, including Shanghai, Boxxle II, The Amazing Spider-Man, Daedalian Opus, Dexterity, Lock n’ Chase, Othello, Paperboy, Penguin Wars, Double Dragon, and a game we’ll likely discuss in August, TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan. Nintendo, which already dominated most of our living rooms, was showing that they were able to be the king of two domains, monopolizing all of our free time, even when we couldn’t be in front of the T.V. Gargoyle’s Quest is a phenomenal game that I highly recommend to everyone; please go play this classic if you haven’t already.
Happy 4th of July. “Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in“.
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