Tournament of Ill-Advised Marriage, Semifinals

I finally remembered to do this thing.

  • The eligible who received the most votes last round was Gritty. He was up against the inanimate carbon rod, who was actually the frontrunner in terms of votes last round, but this time had the least votes.
  • The winner with the least votes was Patrick Stewart reading Shakespearian sonnets, who won against a tardigrade named Murray in the closest match of the round. [Note: I took the vote tallies last week when it finished. Murray actually has one more vote than Patrick Stewart now, but I’m sticking to my guns. You’re going to make me marry something awful anyway, let me hold on to this dream.]

Anyway, we’re down to our final four! Who should I marry?