Tournament of Ill-Advised Marriage, Quarterfinals

Here we go.

  • The eligible who received most votes last round was the Inanimate Carbon Rod, up against Jane Lane, who received the least votes. A pity, as younger me had a bit of a crush on her. This was also the matchup with the largest vote spread.
  • The eligible with the least votes to still win was the impulse to dress baby goats in pajamas, which won a tough battle over the melting block of raclette cheese. I can still eat that cheese, right?
  • The eligible with the most votes to still lose was the completely normal and dashing looking guy that we should absolutely trust, who — hey, wait, that’s a chicken! A giant chicken! Anyway, he was kicked out by Patrick Stewart reading Shakespearian sonnets in the closest match of last round.

You know the drill. Who should I marry?