Tournament of Ill-Advised Marriage, Round of Sixteen

This is still happening.

  • The eligible with the most votes was lovable Kermit the Frog, who also had the biggest vote spread in his contest against a yurt.
  • The eligible with the least votes was former Secretary General of the UN Boutros Boutros Ghali, who had the misfortune of being up against favorite Avocado activity being officially in the process of losing our minds.
  • The eligible with the least votes to win was Jane Lane. I’m glad she’s stuck around because I think we’d be pretty compatible, really. Or at least my high school self might have been. This was also the contest with the tightest vote spread, against vaguely scary puppet Lady Elaine Fairchilde of the Land of Make Believe.
  • The eligible with the most votes to lose was Dracula. As I commented on earlier, there’s a lot of upsides to marrying Dracula: eternal life, cool superpowers, a castle, villagers stay the fuck away from you, etc. I’ve heard that in this modern day, some Draculas are even sexy.

Anyway. Vote on who I should marry.