Morning Politocadoes!

On Wednesday morning, the Stable Genius President walked back his aggressive stance toward Iran. Following the assassination of Suleimani and Iran’s counterattack and we all appeared to be on the precipice of war, Trump appeared to have taken Iran’s offer of not further escalating conflict. Of course he did so in a silly, silly speech that mostly blamed Obama filled with slurring words, mispronunciations, and lots, lots and sniffing.

#SniffyMcAdderall sniffed 58 times in FOUR MINUTES. Time for rehab!https://t.co/H00CDbylzx

— Colludy Jailiani (@OldManBog) January 9, 2020

He also managed to leak sensitive information while bragging about our big, huge missiles. Yes, watch the Joint Chiefs of Staff’s faces while he describes our ‘hypersonic weapons’.

For those who missed it, watch the Joint Chiefs faces when he mentions hypersonic weaponshttps://t.co/jiePNahTCv

— Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) January 8, 2020

And so here we are, apparently not at war. Yet.

But we still clearly have a dumb, senile criminal in the Oval Office hopelessly addicted to some form of speed.

Somehow, I do not feel safer.

Welcome to Thursday! Please be excellent to each other! The Mayor McSquirrel Rule is in effect because we’re better than him. If you notice a news item being posted too often, alert a mod so it can be pinned to the top of the thread.