What with the UK possibly leaving the European Union soon, it just seemed logical to me that the Avocado take its place as a member state. So I put in an application on our behalf, and long story short, welcome aboard! Let’s meet the new neighbors, with some news from the largest countries in the EU. Disclaimer: I’m not from Europe and this should not be taken as sophisticated analysis.
Italy
Italian politics has been an unstable mess for much of the time since the end of World War II, but you probably know it was way worse DURING World War II. Don’t tell fascist deputy PM and Putin employee Matteo Salvini that, though, because he wants to bring that old-timey genocidal vibe back to the Italian government. Italy’s not a monolith, though, and the non-evil part of the electorate is holding him back – here’s hoping they shut this Nazi bullshit down entirely, somehow, someday.
Inside Europe: Italy’s political standoff analyzed
Germany
The previously mentioned fascists were responsible for shutting down migrant rescue operations in the Mediterranean. Some folks, like Chancellor Angela Merkel, are perhaps realizing that compromise with murderous racists like Salvini has failed to produce any real benefits, so now she’s calling for the rescues to be re-started. Which is great, but hey, next time just tell the far right to go fuck themselves right from the start.
Germany’s Merkel calls for restarting EU migrant rescue mission
Also, did you know that I have just, at the tender age of 37, discovered Kraftwerk? Political because, uh, they say Deutsche Bank in the song.
Spain
Infrastructure week – really! Spain has a fairly dry climate, and some parts are prone to both drought and flash flooding. The need for good water management is only going to increase as the climate changes. Some city planners have been taking notes from Spain’s medieval history, when Arabs brought and developed techniques that are still practical today. It’s cool stuff.
The rain in Spain: how an ancient Arabic technique saves Alicante from floods
France
Are there more important things going on in France right now? Of course there are. But are there FUNNIER things going on in France right now? Of course there are. But are there DUMBER things going on in France right now? I doubt it.
Petites vacances au calme sur la Lune. #spiderwoerth pic.twitter.com/kI7b7ML16c
— Guillaume Piolat (@guillaumepiolat) August 12, 2019
French politician Eric Woerth hits back at fake mountain photo jokes
Let’s keep it civil in the comments, and please do not make threats against Mayor McSquirrel or anybody else. Per Google Translate: Schönes Wochenende!
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