With the behemoth that is E3 looming over all of video gaming, we have ourselves another quiet week for new releases. Well, as quiet as the release of the (most likely) last 3DS game can be. We’ve also got some previously console exclusive titles coming to PC, and we reminisce about one of the greatest NES games of all time.

P.S.

Lots of YouTube clips this week.

Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth (3DS) – Releases Jun. 4^th

Persona 5 was one of my top 5 games of 2017, and ever since Joker and the gang rode off into the sunset, I’ve been itching to see them get back together. Thankfully the good people at Atlus were aware of my desires (most likely by infiltrating my palace and stealing my heart) and made Persona Q2, which not only brings in the cast of Persona 5, but also the casts of Persona 3 and 4. After finding themselves in a strange new place, The Phantom Thieves learn that they have been transported there after hopping through a movie screen. Now, trapped in this strange theatre, they must brave the labyrinth and find their way back home. Based on the upcoming new release slate, this appears to be the final game released for the Nintendo 3DS, a system with a very successful eight year lifespan. Despite the success, the system had a rough start, landing with a mighty thud in March of 2011 at a pretty hefty price tag of $249.99. Four months later, Nintendo would drop the price to $169.99, and from there it sold like gang busters! Early adopters were give twenty free games as compensation, 10 NES titles, and 10 GBA titles, making this a costly, but ultimately winning, miscalculation. With six different versions of the handheld device, and a litany of accessories (remember the second analog stick add on), the 3DS is riding off into the sunset, and barring any surprises at E3, Joker and company get the honor of being the ones to let us say goodbye to it.

Kotodama: The 7 Mysteries of Fujisawa (PC/PS4/Switch) – Releases Jun. 4^th (PC version has been available since May 31^st)

Oh boy, here’s a game. Generally speaking, I’m a big fan of Japanese games, they just do it for me. I like the stories, the characters, the art, and the overall aesthetics, however, there are instances where these games turn me off, and that’s “fan service”. Now I’m not an opponent of sex, I like sex, it’s fun, if you haven’t tried it, I recommend doing it, often, but there’s a difference between enjoying sex, and being a creep about it. In Kotodama, you are a (I hope) high school student at Fujisawa Academy; a place where every student apparently has a dark secret that they want to keep from everyone else. After making a deal with a demon, you gain the ability to uncover people’s secret truths, by bombarding them with these, sensual-esque, beads, or gems, or something, that causes them to basically orgasm until their clothes fall off. It’s fucking weird, and while I won’t judge anyone for playing it (at least not to their face), I’m certainly going to keep my distance on this one. Yikes.

Warhammer: Chaosbane (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Jun. 4^th

Another week, another Warhammer game. This time we have yet another Diablo-esque title, but set in their high fantasy timeline as opposed to their gothic future timeline. In this game, the first hack & slash to be set in the Warhammer fantasy world, you will play either solo or with up to four people, making your way through treacherous dungeons, forests, caves, etc. on your quest to stop the evil hordes of Chaos (think Cthulhu) from taking over the world. With four classes to choose from, a high number of dungeons to explore, planned regular updates, and 10 difficulty levels, the game promise hours and hours of replay value.

MotoGP 19 (PC/PS4/Switch/Xbox One) – Releases Jun. 6^th

It’s a motorcycle racing game, there’s not much to it other than that. If you like the vroom-vroom crotch rockets, then you’re probably going to like this game. Like this year’s latest MLB: The Show title, MotoGP 19 features a “classic” mode, which allows you to race and compete in various real life scenarios from motorcycle racing’s past. I will say, these graphics are really impressive; it seems like racing games are always kind of on the forefront when it comes to cutting edge graphics. Am I wrong?

 

Ports and Re-releases:

Octopath Traveler (PC) – Releases Jun. 7^th

After an almost year-long exclusive on the Nintendo Switch, Square Enix is bringing their throwback JRPG to your PC this week. Featuring eight playable characters, each with their own rich story to take part in, you must grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind, until you reach a high enough level to play chapter 2, then you’ll grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind…and grind, and well, you get the idea.

Journey (PC) – Releases Jun. 6^th, exclusive to the Epic Games Store

PS3 exclusive Journey, a game about making connections on your way to the peak of a mountain, is coming to PC, exclusively for Epic Games Store players. Trying to make a connection with your Steam friends? Fuck you, only Epic friends. This also gives me an excuse to link to another Mega64 video:

She and the Light Bearer (Switch) – Releases Jun. 6^th

Releasing for PC earlier this year, She and the Light Bearer is making its way to Nintendo Switch. Described by the developer as “…a point and click adventure game, a poem, a fairy tale”, you take on the role of Little Firefly, as you go on a journey to find The Mother of the forest. Along the way you’ll interact with a host of zany creatures and solve puzzles. It looks cute!!

 

Expansions:

Elder Scrolls Online: Elsweyr (PC/PS4/Xbox One) – Releases Jun. 4^th

ESO has been proving itself to be quite the player in the MMO sphere, and with its third major expansion (or chapter), you will find yourself traveling to the realm of Elsweyr, home of the Khajiit, The Elder Scrolls feline race, known for their agility and sneaking ability, as well as the purveyors of Moon Sugar and Skooma. Since this release is part of ESO’s “The Season of the Dragon“, you’ll have to do battle with these fearsome creatures in new trials, world events, public dungeons, and quests. You’ll also have the chance to play as a new class, the undead loving Necromancer, who uses their magic to call upon an army of the dead to do their bidding.

Battletech: Urban Warfare (PC) – Releases Jun. 4^th

The big new change in this expansion for Battletech is that your fights will now be (sung in my best Taylor Hick’s impression) “…takin’ it to the streets…”. No longer will your giant robots have to shoot missiles at each other in the showy godlessness of nature, like, on a farm, or whatever, because now you can shoot them next to buildings, like maybe a Starbucks or a Virgin Megastore. Aside from the change in setting, you’ll also get two new BattleMechs, be able to engage with new flashpoints, fight new enemies, and partake in the new encounter “Attack and Defend”.

 

Everything else:

Effie (PS4) – Releases Jun. 4^th

From the Square Enix Collective comes a brand new 3D platformer from indie developer Inverge Studios. You play Garland, a shield surfing bro who has been cursed by a witch with premature aging (Howl’s Moving Castle is probably readying the C&D papers now). Touted as a throw-back to old school games like Spyro and Crash Bandicoot, you’ll run and jump all over the place, collecting knick-knacks and solving puzzles that probably involve you pushing giant cubes around.

Bullet Battle: Evolution (Switch) – Releases Jun. 6^th

I mean, if Call of Duty won’t come to the Switch, this might be the only thing that military shooter fans have to look forward to on that system. I haven’t done much digging, but this has “mobile port” written all over it.

Paranoia: Deliver Me (PC) – Releases Jun. 6^th

This visual novel released last year on Steam in Japanese only, and is now releasing a localized English version. It says it is based on the best seller Paranoia, which makes me think it might be a book…or a manga…but I really have no idea. Oh, Steam also has this lovely line in the description, “This game contains a little violence and gore. And you may find some self-harm content but they are just in the delusion of the heroine”. Phew.

Summer Sports Games (Switch) – Releases Jun. 6^th (PC version Jun. 13^th)

Shovelware sports games for kids will never go out of style, will they?

Warlocks 2: God Slayers (Switch) – Releases Jun. 7^th (coming to other platforms later this)

A side scroller with pixel graphics, on the Nintendo Switch?! What a novel concept!

 

Notable Releases from 10, 20 and 30 years ago:

It might be a slow week for us in 2019, but back in the past there were some pretty stellar releases. Check out what us late 30’s peeps were playing as young adults, teenagers, and kids.

Prototype (PC/PS3/Xbox 360) – Released Jun. 9^th, 2009: Wiki Link

Hey, didn’t we talk about this game a couple weeks ago…oh, no wait, sorry, that was InFamous, this is that other third person adventure game about a normal guy who gets super powers and needs to use them to free society from an over bearing corporation hell bent on world domination, while also putting his chin down and his eyes up. I really have nothing to say about this game, sorry. It’s derivative, boring, and so generic that I literally thought it was the game InFamous for several months after it came out. A sequel was released in 2012, and a remastered version of the game came out for PS4 and Xbox One in 2015. Did you have any idea?

Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings (DS/PS2/PSP/Wii) – Released Jun. 9^th, 2009: Wiki Link

I generally only talk about one game per year each week, but this Indiana Jones title is just too odd to pass up talking about. It’s hard to imagine why, but Lucasarts decided to release a PS2 game in 2009, three years into the lifespan of the PS3. That’s like Ubisoft releasing a game for the Wii three years into the life of the Wii U…they did…they even released one last year? Jesus. Anyway, Lucasarts must have been sitting on this for a while, because there’s no good reason for them to have released this when they did. Heck, it didn’t even coincide with the release of The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which came out in theatres in 2008. According to Wikipedia, the game did actually start life on the PS3 and Xbox 360, but for some reason they decided to scrap those plans and make the game for the far less powerful PS2 and Wii (as well as PSP and NDS). What we got was the third entry in the 3D Indiana Jones series, with Staff of Kings being preceded by The Infernal Machine (N64) and The Emperor’s Tomb (PS2/Xbox). The game received poor to average reviews, with particular vitriol given to the Wii version for its (surprise) horrendous motion controls. For some, the best reason to own the game on Wii was for the inclusion of the classic point & click game The Fate of Atlantis, which to this day, is probably the best Indiana Jones game ever made. I’m not sure why Indy hasn’t had the same staying power as Star Wars, maybe it’s because the character is so iconic and it would be hard to see anyone else in the role (sorry Shia). At any rate, I would absolutely love to see a new game in the series, and if we do get that rumored 2020 film, perhaps we’ll all get our wish…or we’ll get Lego Indiana Jones 3.

Might and Magic VII: For Blood and Honor (PC) – Released Jun. 8^th, 1999: Wiki Link

Praised upon its release as one of the standard bearers for 3D RPGs for the PC in 1999, Might and Magic VII has aged really, really poorly. What must have been a breathtaking achievement in home computer entertainment in 1999, looks and runs like hot garbage in 2019, and that’s too bad. Unlike the pixel graphic side scrollers of the late 80’s, early 90’s that look and play wonderfully today, the late 90’s, early 00’s had some atrocious 3D polygon games that, while fun at the time, in hindsight leave much to be desired. Despite the way it looks and plays now, it was pretty well received upon release, adding several new features to the series, including the ability to choose the race of your party members, new classes and skills, and a rather interesting choice for how the story would play out. Depending on who your party chooses as “The Arbiter”, the game will either send you down the “light” path, or the “dark” path. Under that ugly paint job, the game does seem to boast a rather intriguing story, and a robust leveling system that allows you to customize the skill sets of each party member, but for a guy like me who gets sick reading a text message while sitting in the backseat of a car, the choppy movement and muddy graphics is just a recipe for nausea.

Mega Man 2 (NES) – Released Jun. 1989: Wiki Link

Imagine a world without Mega Man, because it almost happened. Sales for the first Mega Man title were not great, but the team believed so much in their game that they were allowed to work on a sequel in their spare time, after they had finished work on their other titles, the ones that were going to make money. They pieced the sequel together with unused assets from the first game, and seemingly poured their soul into the title; and it paid off. Mega Man 2 is the best-selling game in the series, being hailed not only as one of the best NES games ever released, but as one of the greatest video games of all-time. When I think about Mega Man, the first thing that comes to mind is that title screen song, then the stage select song, then the boss intro screen song, and of course the iconic robot masters; Bubble Man, Quick Man, Wood Man, Fire Man, Air Man, Flash Man, Crash Man, and Metal Man. Yeah, there have been 11 games in the series to date (as well as several spin-off’s and a sister series in X), but Mega Man 2 is the gold standard that all other entries in the series must stand up against. I know I’ve mentioned before that I rented Ninja Gaiden a lot from Blockbuster when I was a kid, but if there was a second place, it would for sure go to Mega Man 2, a game I rented so much that my parents probably bought me several copies of it if added up all of the individual rentals. This is, hands down, my favorite Mega Man game ever released, and I hope to god they keep re-releasing it, because I will buy it for literally any video game console it gets ported to.