Elks Lodge #287, Walla Walla, Washington
Friday, June 2nd, 1978
7:39pm

(Madge walks in, her arms loaded with boxes of Bisquick. She drops them to the floor in shock.)

Oh my! Oh dear! What … what in blazes happened?

(The mangled corpses of an enormous, furry blue monster and a mistress of the dark lie splayed on the multi-purpose room carpet.)

Oh no. Oh no no no no. We open the doors for the pancake breakfast in less than twelve hours! The batter-whiskers will arrive in the kitchen any minute! This won’t do, this just won’t do at all!

(Madge walks over the elk statue and tugs on one of the antlers. A secret door creaks open in the wood-paneled wall. Beyond, you see a staircase leading down into the darkness.)

Go. Go! I’ll take care of the bodies, but you have to leave, now! Zaphael and Ralgath will explain. Go!

(Confused, the remaining disguised gods and monsters shuffle into the hidden stairway, which twists into unseen darkness.

After several minutes of descending, they all see a faint glow of amber light.

The stairs end at a subterranean chamber. Above, formations of stalactites hang ominously from a high ceiling.)

(Each of you stumble forward, as the rocky ground is uneven under your feet. The only sound is the irregular drip of water. Then voices, speaking in low but urgent tones. The amber light intensifies as you near two figures, both of which turn to look at your group.

(A towering celestial being approaches. He is nearly ten feet tall and impossibly handsome, his flowing hair resting on thick, muscular shoulders. Within the angel’s glowing eyes you glimpse the peace of Heaven itself.)

ZAPHAEL: I offer the humblest of greetings, fellow exemplars of the eternal. I am Zaphael. It is my understanding that you have taken to murdering each other? This is untenable. Some of you are older than this dimension, so I find it hard to believe that you can’t settle your differences without stabbing each other. With my assistance, we can all determine a more peaceful resolution to the current situation.

I would also like to introduce you to my associate, Ralgath.

(Zaphael motions towards a brooding, sickly-looking demon sitting at a stone desk in the corner. Malformed horns just from his mottled, ashen skin.

He lifts his crimson eyes, which smolder with the enmity of Hell.

He appears to be incredibly put-out by your arrival.

He shakes his head with obvious disdain and mutters something under his breath before turning back to his paperwork.)

ZAPHAEL: We’ve been monitoring the activities in the Elks Lodge above and Ralgath has prepared dossiers on the expired entities.

RALGATH: I’m not done yet.

ZAPHAEL: Can you at least show them what you have?

(The demon sighs over-dramatically, gathers up the papers with a single swipe of his claw, and holds them out to the angel. Zaphael takes the papers and smooths them out.)

ZAPHAEL: Ignore Ralgath, he is in one of his moods today. Now, here are those dossiers …

---

DOSSIER: DONALBAIN
Alias: Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om Oats
True Identity: Sulley
Alignment: T.O.W.W.N.
Power: Player Investigator

James P. “Sulley” Sullivan was the top scarer of Monsters, Inc. before becoming disillusioned. In a bit of a noir mood, he tried his hand at being a private dick. He was good at discerning the powers of his fellow monsters and immortal deities, but was always getting hair in his eyes, so he could never identify who he was looking at.

---

DOSSIER: SPINY CREATURE
Alias: Tilda Swinton
True Identity: Elvira
Alignment: S.C.U.M.
Power: Night Kill

What turned the Mistress of the Dark from a beloved cult television personality into someone who wanted to eradicate humanity from existence? I suppose we could have asked her if she wasn’t extremely dead.

---

(RALGATH yawns.)

ZAPHAEL: I’ll leave these dossiers with you to study. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Ralgath and I are needed…elsewhere. Just for a short stretch of temporal time, you see. I trust you can look after each other until we return.

(The angel and demon step through a shimmering astral portal you hadn’t noticed was behind a stalagmite the whole time. As they vanish, the subterranean chamber begins to echo with the sound of a Mellotron.)

GODS		MONSTERS
	Aphrodite		Audrey II
	Aslan		Chupacabra
	Bahamut		Cookie Monster
	Erinyes		Elvira (Spiny, S.C.U.M.)
	Eru Ilúvatar		Invisible Man (Wasp, T.O.W.W.N.)
	Gozer		Lich
	Kratos		Medusa
	Nyarlathotep		Mogwai
	Osiris		Scylla
	R’hllor		Sulley (Donalbain, T.O.W.W.N.)

[spoiler title=Teams]

13 Totally Ordinary Walla Walla Natives (T.O.W.W.N.): The T.O.W.W.N. faction want to maintain the status quo, with gods and monsters living alongside mortals. They win the game when the S.C.U.M. faction has been eliminated.

3 Secret Cabal for Undoing Mortality (S.C.U.M.): The S.C.U.M. faction believes the creation of mortals was a grave error, and seek to eradicate humanity from all realms of existence. They win the game when the number of S.C.U.M. players equals the number of T.O.W.W.N. players.

1 Independent: Does not belong to T.O.W.W.N. or S.C.U.M. They have their own secret agenda and win condition.

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=Rules]

–No quoting or screencapping from QTs. Do not ask other players about their QTs in an attempt to figure out what role they have.

-You cannot edit any of your posts.

-Votes for NPCs (like Madge) will not be counted.

-The S.C.U.M. faction has a collective role-blocking power.

-If a day’s voting ends in a tie, one player has the power to break all voting ties.

[/spoiler]

[spoiler title=Players]

April // Greg, who is not an alien
Clodia // Marcie Klein
Corporal Hicks // Lawrence Welk
Donalbain // Mightily Oats SULLEY, T.O.W.W.N.
DW // Scorpion
Glitch // Irv
Grumproro // Janet Weiss
Hayes Code // Seven Japanese Tourists
Hohopossum // Old Bones
Jake // Billi Roman
Lamb Dance // Clock Man
Lindsay // Grayson Wolfsbane
Louie Blue // David Bowie
MacCrocodile // Gena Crocodile
Mayelbridwen // George Washington Masonic National Memorial
Ralph // King Ralph
Sic Humor // J.K. Rowling
Sister Jude // Bee Arthur
Spiny Creature // Tilda Swinton ELVIRA, S.C.U.M.
Wasp // Donkey Kong INVISIBLE MAN, T.O.W.W.N.

BACKUPS

Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather
Captain Video
Snugglewumps
Josephus Brown

[/spoiler]

Day One

Day Two ends on Sunday, April 21 at 5:00 PM PST (8:00 PM EST), or if a majority vote is reached first.