Hello, NEW EMPLOYEE NAME
I’m glad to welcome you aboard the ValueFilm Productions train! This train never stops! Choo choo!
Hi, I’m Mandy Mendez, and on behalf of human resources, let me say that we’re so glad to have you join our film crew. You can look forward to seeing your hard work on over 50 basic cable reality TV programs. I hope you’re as excited as I am!
By now you’ve probably seen the training video (please e-mail your supervisor if you have not seen the training video) and are ready to start. I’m super stoked to tell you that you and 20-ish other new hires are being assigned to Dehaunters. Dehaunters airs on the ? Network in the US and Canada, and on ¿Network? in Latin America. It’s the third most popular daytime program among divorced men aged 30 – 49, and YOU get to be a part of it!
You’ll get to meet Dehaunters hosts Rick, Paisley and Tyrone! Don’t talk to them too much, though. They’re shooting A-roll, you’re shooting B-roll. Keep it professional! Also, don’t ask them about what happened to Luann. They’re not ready to talk about that yet.
You’re getting started on episode 508, which will commence filming in the next 72 hours. We’re sorry for the short notice, but after the old production team disappeared without a trace from their hotel rooms REPLACE THIS PART WITH THE OFFICIAL STORY WHEN YOU HEAR BACK FROM MANAGEMENT we’re so glad to have you here.
Episode 508 will be filming at Wimbiscus Manor in Prince Edward Island, Canada’s spookiest province! Wimbiscus Manor is considered the third most haunted building in PEI, after the ferry terminal that goes to Nova Scotia and the motel where Anne of Green Gables was brutally slain. Bring your passport and a sense of fun!
Human Resources Superintendent, Atlantic Region
NOTE TO SELF: TAKE OUT ALL THE UPPER CASE PARTS BEFORE YOU EMAIL EVERYONE THIS TIME.
Welcome to Werewolves 74! You’re going to visit a cursed manor on the edge of an unmerciful sea. All of you are getting paid minimum wage. It’s like the Sears game, but wetter.
The house of Wimbiscus holds many tales, horrifying and sordid in turn. The house was raised in 1848 by Ephriam Wimbiscus, a merchant captain who retreated from the dark secrets of the ocean. He ripped his ship asunder by hand to make himself a new home from its timbers, then died of a heart attack while driving in the last nail. Ephriam left behind a wife, Lettuce, and 18 children, each one cursed in turn. Elias, the inventor, who crafted things that drove his mind from its senses. Ursula, the musician, who played the piano in a way that made no sound. The twins, Minerva and Samuel, who harbored a mutual darkness. Duodecima, who would cough up seawater on the nights of the blood moon. All the other kids were cursed, too, but you get the idea. Their children? Extra cursed.
The House of Wimbiscus is so cursed, in fact, that there is now but one living descendant of Ephriam and Lettuce Wimbiscus. That person is among you right now. They have joined your ranks to return to a home they never knew, and fulfill a terrifying destiny. (They are also getting paid minimum wage, if that makes you feel better.) Also, don’t panic, but four of you got cursed just from reading Mandy’s email.
- 15 Videographers (town)
- 1 Unit Director (Jailer)
- 1 Field Medic (Specialized doctor; read below)
- 1 Key Grip (Detective)
- 12 vanilla townies
- 4 Cursees (wolves)
- You all looked directly into the eyes of Mandy Mendez’s Bitmoji email signature, and were driven mad by it.
- 1 Final Heir to the House of Wimbiscus (serial killer)
- Gets one free death. They will be notified when someone tries to kill them; the rest of you will not. The detective can identify the heir, but not whether they’ve already survived a death attempt or not.
This is nominally a game for 20 people, but if there’s a lot of interest, I’ll expand it.
As with Zone Z, The House of Wimbiscus will feature events: pop-up phenomena that occur randomly of the course of the in-game days. These events will be ghost encounters, in which a spectre will manifest itself in your presence. The way you interact with the spectre will affect the number of haunted highlights (that is, B-roll) you guys manage to tape for the show. At the end of each ghost encounter, you’ll be told how many you’ve won. Haunted highlights can be saved over the course of multiple days.
Haunted highlights are spent at the catering truck, which mysteriously appears one hour before twilight each day. Show the haunted highlights to the truck’s proprietor to unlock items that affect night actions. (Yes, I’m putting a store mechanic in a werewolf game. I need to know what happens.) There will be a special vote thread on what to buy; the thread appears with the truck. If there’s a tie, you buy nothing.
The way HH points are awarded will be extremely scientific on my part, and certainly not based on personal whims or a secret desire to stop you from affording an item you all really want.
You will be told what the pros and cons of each item are, and you may not be able to afford all of them. The Field Medic’s job is to pick someone that night to use the item on. Items cannot be saved for later. If they’re lost due to a roleblock, they’re lost for good. If the Field Medic dies, the items will be assigned randomly among the pool of town-aligned players.
Wolf and SK kills work the usual way. If you’re a new player, and also read all of this, fear not. Your fellow wolves can explain how the basic game goes. If you’re the SK, I guess I can do that in the QT.
The game will probably start on Wednesday. I just got back from vacation today, and also I just learned Sears went bankrupt, so I need time to grieve.
- April LKD
- Sister Jude the Obscure
- The Hayes Code
- Lamb Dance
- D. Goat
- Jon Hamm’s John Ham
- Dr. Nick
- Mr. I’m My Own Grandfather
- Sic Humor
- Hoho Dream Warrior Possum
- Ult Warrior
- Robert Post’s Child
- Lindsay Disguised Leviathan
- Colonel Mustard