Hi there! We here at the English language have been working hard on new letters for you to enjoy. Here are the new letters for FY 2019:
Þ – Þis one is an oldie-but-goodie. Originating as a rune, thorn (þorn) will be þere for you whenever typing “th” becomes too much.
ſ – A claſsic. Relive þe heyday of witch trials by replacing þe short “s” at the beginning or middle of words with þis ſwooshy ſtroke.
Ꝝ – The “R rum rotunda,” uſeful for abbreviating words þat end in ram, -orum and -arum. Or words Þat ſound like Þey do.
Ж – Have you ever wondered about all Þose weird loanwords frꝝ French with a “zh” ſound? Þey have a letter for that in, you gueſsed it, Russian. Get ready to treaжure drawing an old-faſhioned TV roof antenna in the middle of words Þat uſed to have an s, and the beginning of words Þat uſed to start with j.
Ꝏ – ſtraight frꝝ Maſsachuſetts colꝏnial orþography and perfect if you need a faſter way to ſay someþing’s spꝏky.
Χ – Þe Greek chi, whiχ will be used to make þe “ch” sound. Prepare for χ-χ-χ-χ-χanges.
ꙮ – OooOOOooooOOOO, for when þings are EXTRA spꙮky.
Ֆ – The Armenian f, reſerved for pronouncing þe General Mills logo.
As you can ſee, eaχ of Þese new letters will add ſomeÞing ſpecial to English, leaving it muχ imprꝏved. Wꙮ!