I don’t get a manual with being El Brujo Especial.

Heading into what is, unfortunately, the penultimate episode of the whole series, we find Zoe being drained of blood in Ruby’s lair. Ruby’s going to write a new page of the Necronomicon, and uses poor Zoe’s skin for one of the pages, her blood as the ink. She wants to mask the Necronomicon from the Dark Ones, because they’re going to be looking for Ruby and Kaya-Kelly and they will destroy them, so Ruby wants to get the jump on them. Zoe tries to run, and Kaya-Kelly gets the jump on her, digging her eyes out of her head. Ouch.

Back at Ash’s house, Pablo notices that he can now see through the Necronomicon. He realizes the reason that Kelly couldn’t come back with them was because of Kaya inhabiting her body, so Ash tasks him with going to the hardware store and making sure nothing comes back  through the rift in the cellar, while he will take care of Ruby. Brandy’s supposed to stay home and guard the house, with Ash giving her the boomstick. Also, apparently a side-effect of coming back from the dead is that you puke your guts out. Ash isn’t affected (he doesn’t get hangovers either!) but Brandy has been vomiting quite a bit and pukes on Ash’s shoulder as she hugs him goodbye.

Unfortunately, the rift is already open, Pablo cannot close it, and the Dark Ones come through. Not only that, but they grab the lost pages of the Necronomicon too. And as soon as they arrive, not only does Ruby notice their arrival, but everything in Elk Grove goes haywire. People turn into Deadites left and right, a crazy storm starts and then the shit hits the fan for our dear Brandy.

She starts hearing noises in the house, the television turns on by itself, and something chases her upstairs, where she jumps out a window and runs into the garage. She then begins getting phone calls from her dead mother, and when she goes to answer it, the damn phone bites her thumb off. She unfortunately dropped the boomstick outside, too. After an unfortunate hallucination that her arm turns black and she has to chop it off with a circular saw, she fights the deadite phone, stabbing it with a screwdriver and running over it with a plow. It’s a pretty nice homage to Ash’s workshed scene in Evil Dead 2, and makes her a bit like her father in that she both had her hand injured and fought evil in a work shed with power tools. Pablo finds her, and they jump in a car to find Ash after seeing an explosion in the sky.

After listening to some groovy Deep Purple, Ash makes it to Ruby’s and gets the jump on Kaya for a second, right after Ruby has put the new page in the Necronomicon. Ash isn’t hearing any of her shit about the Dark Ones coming, and unfortunately, Zoe has gone deadite and attacks Ash, causing him to drop the Kandarian dagger. Ruby wants him to tell her where the rift is, and he flat out refuses, so she crushes his beloved chainsaw.

The Dark Ones appear, ripping Kaya’s soul from Kelly’s body and then disposing of the real Kaya. Then they destroy Ruby too. Ash escapes with Kelly’s body and the Necronomicon, and tries to get in touch with Pablo on it. He plans on taking Kelly back to the rift, but since shit’s gone loco up in this bitch, Pablo tries to warn him away from the place. Ash doesn’t hear that, unfortunately. He’s distracted by deadites in the road and the car radio saying that the National Guard has been called in because of the situation in Elk Grove.

The Dark Ones find Ash after he crashes through the window of a tavern and take the Necronomicon, putting the book back together. Ash and Brandy reunite as Pablo tries to do something to stop the Dark Ones, but he can’t. Then the ground begins to shake and crack, a huge sinkhole opens up, and some gigantic hand comes out of it. Oh shit.

This episode is more heavy on action than it is on laughs, which is fitting for me personally right now considering we just got the news that there will be no fourth season of this delightful series. Here’s hoping that the finale gives us some closure next week.