Riverdale S2E7 “Chapter Twenty: Tales From The Darkside”/Dynasty S1E7 “A Taste of Your Own Medicine”

2 Weeks Ago on Arch, Jug, & Betty’s Jingle Jingle Jangle, we learned that not only is the supplier of pixie sticks to the town is called “THE SUGAR MAN” but he’s Jughead’s fucking English teacher. (who is assumed dead) We should just assume that any educators on this show that get an extended amount of screen time are pure evil. Mayor McCoy goes full “police state” (trademark Jughead Jones) on the southside and starts unlawfully arresting teenagers because her daughter took Jingle Jangle so now it’s a big enough issue. Jughead challenged the Ghoulies to a drag race which Goddammit Archie then ruined by snitching to the feds. I’m sure no retaliation will occur from that at all.

Nick St. Asshole r*pist piece of shit and his parents paid off Cheryl’s mom so they wouldn’t press charges so Veronica told her parents what almost happened to her and they got ran off the road via the powers of Evil Mark Consuelos and nothing of value was lost. GO EVIL MARK CONSUELOS! And Betty has finally decided to start fighting back.

I already miss The Red Circle.

Last week on Dynasty:

LAUNCH PARTIES, BABY SITTING PREGNANT LADIES WHO DON’T GIVE A FUCK, AWKWARDNESS, MORE SASSY BUTLER ONE LINERS, POLITICAL SNARKINESS, NOT NEARLY ENOUGH SLAPFIGHTS