♪ Never take any pictures Just try to remember All I remember is trying Here’s a story I like I think it happened to me I don’t even know if I’m lying ♪ — “Half Life,” Too Much Joy[footnote]Bonus Verse Perversely Apt for the Weekend Politics Thread: I tell the same joke / Many different ways / But you never seem to get it[/footnote] With so much drama in the Avocado PT, it can get kind of hard doing the W-P-single T. But Uvular, somehow, someway, keeps coming up with discursive diversions each Saturday. As proof, he invites Politicados, for … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Gets Its Thousand Words’ Worth

Shout-out to all Carolinian Politicados. Stay safe, dry, and sheltered. ++++ Wars and battles will be more grievous and towns, cities, castles and all other edifices will be burned, desolated and destroyed, with great effusion of vestal blood, violations of married woman and widows, and sucking children dashed and broken against the walls of towns. — Nostradamus, Epistle to Henry II Tempests natural and manmade this past week obscured the huge news of huge joint Russia-China wargames in southeastern Siberia. The armed forces of the only two countries capable of standing up to the United States in conventional warfare[footnote]Do we … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Has a Failure to Communicate

♪ Newcastle Brown, I’m tellin’ ya, It can sure smack you down Take a greasy whore And a rollin’ dance floor It’s got your head spinnin’ round ♪ — “30 Days in the Hole.” Humble Pie This weekend’s Weekend Politics Thread title arrives courtesy of your Catholic-school-educated host’s spotty memory of scripture. A few moments of predawn googling revealed to an abashed Uvular that he had for deacades remixed Proverbs 11:9[footnote]End public corruption with this one weird chapter. Trumpists hate it![/footnote] with Hosea 8:7 to produce the nonexistent Bible quote, “Whoever inherits the wind shall reap the whirlwind.” Which makes … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Inherits the Reapings of Whirlwinds

To welcome intrepid Politicados this fine-ish first weekend of September 2018, your unfocused WPT host presents a total of 10 paragraphs on three pressing political topics.[footnote]Twelve, ya doof. Count the tacked-on introductory and concluding graphs. Term-paper rules always apply.[/footnote] And, as scattered as this thin gruel of galumphing gadflying gets, it manages to omit any mention of events transpiring beyond U.S. borders such as the Nazi takeover of Saxony, the collapse of the Argentine peso, the final victory of Assad in Syria, and the Canadian withdrawal in spirit for NAFTA renegotiation talks.[footnote]Except for those mentions just there. Totally mentioned. Uvular … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Suffers Succotash

♫ Bring the dear old banner, boys And fling it to the wind; Mother, wife and daughter, Let it shelter and defend. “Equal Rights” our motto is, We’re loyal to the end. Giving the ballot to the mothers. ♫ — “Give the Ballot to the Mothers,” Lyrics by Rebecca N. Harris to the tune of “Marching Through Georgia” by Henry Clay Work, Songs of the Suffragettes Your slightly behind the curve Weekend Politics Thread host learned from his local Aug. 24, 2018, newspaper[footnote]Thanks, Virginian-Pilot. Support journalism by paying for at least one subscription, Politicados.[/footnote] that Aug. 18, 2018, marked the … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Equals Things Out

♫ Well a dollar I make Is a buck I owe And a forty-hour week Leaves ten to blow But every game in this town Is just a nickel-and-dime And when the sun goes down It feels like the last time ♫ — “Let’s Kill Saturday Night,” Robbie Fulks In news nowhere near hard enough to shatter a glass ceiling nor shocking enough to dislodge a monocle, the Economic Policy Institute reported on Aug. 16, 2018, that during 2017 the “CEO-to-worker compensation ratio of 312-to-1 was far greater than the 20-to-1 ratio in 1965 and more than five times greater … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Does Some Prole-ing

♫ Substitute your lies for fact I can see right through your plastic mac I look all white, but my dad was black My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack ♫ — “Substitute,” The Who[footnote]Heard and seen here getting jangly with it. Mono rulez! Aside: Click the link to learn all the other thing you need to know about this weekend’s subject of derision.[/footnote] We got trouble. Right here in VA-2. And that starts with T, which leads off tricks, dirty as you ever did see. What the fuck, Uvular? Make sense for once in your goddamned reign … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Gets Riggy With It

♭ Sometimes I can’t help the feeling that I’m Living a life of illusion And oh, why can’t we let it be And see through the hole in this wall of confusion I just can’t help the feeling I’m Living a life of illusion ♭ — “A Life of Illusion,” Joe Walsh Your expository Weekend Politics Thread host last week expounded discursively on how Trump and his Trumpists galloped past the Big Lie and established permanent resident alien status in Balnibari.[footnote]Yes, Uvular does want some kind of medal for reading Gulliver’s Travels cover-to-cover on his own time and not for … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Clings Desperately to Its Reality

♪ There’s a bedtime story Lovers, war, and kings They belong to yesterday As if it were a dream …. Don’t know why Don’t do that Dry your eyes Don’t look back ♪ — “Don’t Look Back,” Treat Her Right[footnote]No guitar. No piano. Still rock and/or roll. R.I.P. Mark Sandman.[/footnote]   While the only surrealist anyone can name of the top of his or her head[footnote]Though most Politicados could pull out a a Magritte or a dabbling Chagall when pressed.[/footnote] Salvador Dali may never have said, “So little of what could happen does happen,” the internet agrees with your truism-spouting … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Gets Real Upset About Upsetting Reality

Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs; God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man; man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.[footnote]Call the header image “God-blum” because it calls to mind the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.[/footnote] Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth. — Jurassic Park[footnote]Uvular hates this movie. Save your typing. He does not care. He walked out of a 99-cent showing of this movie back in the day. He, above all, hates how this movie singlehandedly changed the meaning “raptor” from bird of prey to some CGI abomination of a sauropod and Torontonian cager. He refuses to watch any sequels … Continue reading Another Goddamned Weekend Politics Thread

♪ ‘Til the man they couldn’t hang Stepped to the mic and sang And their voices rang with that Aryan twang ♪ — “Bobcaygeon,” The Tragically Hip Your seasonally renamed Weekend Politics Thread host, Uvular, Peach Lover, loves to eat a peach. Not in the ribald-if-you-want sense of the Allman Brothers’ album title Eat a Peach. No, he just enters a reverie contemplating the feel of the fuzz on his lips, the sensation of the juice running down his chin, the smell lingering on his fingers … .[footnote]Oh! Oh my.[/footnote] You know, nothing like what that multiracial, genre-spanning band implied. … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Remains Unimpeachable

♫ Insanity’s everywhere Must be something in the air ♫ — “Killing for Jesus,” Circle Jerks Stretch, hydrate and eat a banana. This one will take a while. Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan (R) spent this past week lying about his knowledge of sexual abuse and exploitation of university wrestlers he coached during the 1980s and 1990s. No, Uvular will not qualify that. Jordan lied, and he will continue lying. Read on to learn how and why your adamant Weekend Politics Thread avers this. Each day, a new athlete went public with stories of getting groped, ogled while showering, and having … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Believes the Believable Team

♫ I’m out in Pittsylvania County On Highway seven-one-eight Middle of a cornfield Know I’m not too late There’s about 13 Thirteen ’67 Chevy Malibus in a circle In the cornfield, with their headlights on And I can feel it I can feel it And everybody’s dancin’ in the headlights Dancing in the headlights And off in the distance you can hear them sing … ♫ — “Wide Open,” Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper Your greying and thickening-in-the-middle Weekend Politics Thread host has little time or appreciation for optimism. As an Irish Catholic, he indulges an abiding sense of tragedy … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Opens Up

♪ Somewhere way under the rainbow Dragging round an empty pot of glue Bruised and confused it could happen to you Seeing for the first time that dreams can come true …. When childish habits are slow to die You might look up and wonder why Things snowball in the twinkling of an eye ♪ — “Things Snowball,” John Wesley Harding Your audiophilic WPT host had designs on opening this header on the Report of the Special Rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights on his mission to the United States of America with a quote from Gene Phillips’ “Wonder … Continue reading The Weekend Politics Thread Visits Planet Dearth