***IMPORTANT NOMINATION INSTRUCTIONS: PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMENTING*** Previous tournaments of this kind have devolved into nitpicking whether this or that film counts as a “real” example of its genre. Being that noir is itself an incredibly tricky genre to pin … Continue reading Film Noir Tournament: Nominations
I’ve toyed with the idea of taking on the mantle of Regular Sex Thread Person, and doing them up on Thursdays. But I don’t want to steal any thunder from other weekly threads, and what we’ve got seems to be working for now — a spontaneous, intermittent, once-in-a-blue-moon event. Description of an action which should not seem wholly unfamiliar. Here’s my question for today: How much touch do you enjoy? What does it mean to you? Is there a particular kind you’re partial to? Come on, freaky people. Let’s liven things up. Continue reading Sex & Relationships Thread: Thirsty Thursday Edition
My best friend once said to me, “Emotion has to go somewhere. It occurred to me, not for the last time, that the feelings which we profess to have for others lie dormant within us at all times, searching as through sonar, for a catalyst or a subject on which to afford it release. At the point where it locates what it thinks it is seeking, it is already too late for us. We’re stuck feeling, and there is no way to unfeel. Talk about how frustrating it is to have a defective heart, or maybe just describe what the … Continue reading Sex & Relationships Thread, 2/25/2018: Emotional Intimacy
Aaliyah (born Aaliyah Dana Houghton) was a singular talent – the voice of an angel, the ability to project a unique measure of vulnerability and confidence simultaneously, and the effortless swagger of a Hall Of Fame-worthy pop diva, all residing within a credibly “street”, tough-yet-sensitive persona. Unfortunately, the inception of her singing career has a bit of an elephant in its room, which I want to address as early as possible so I can spend the rest of this piece just praising her music. (TRIGGER WARNING for sexual assault discussion in remainder of the paragraph) Her early mentor, producer, and … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Aaliyah
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics [footnote]No childless in the comments please, or else we’re telling Mom.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be looking for advice, sharing a fun experience, or just venting about how goddamn maddening this crazyass responsibility can be. This week’s topic: Independence Somewhat similar to last week’s thread about development, only with a … Continue reading Parental Guidance February 3, 2018: Independence
Retro-futurism is a dead aesthetic. Past ideas of what the future will look like always seem impossibly quaint in hindsight, and pointing that out amounts to kicking the past when it’s down. And yet there was one band who managed to take this sentiment and use it to craft some of the warmest, most achingly beautiful and uplifting music of the modern age, while somehow keeping their style fresh for twenty-plus years. With their signature blend of Krautrock played with bubbly synth drones, weird science fictiony noises, and gorgeous, effervescent female vocals, Stereolab helped create one of independent rock’s defining … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Stereolab
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics [footnote]Please do not post in these threads unless you’re personally raising some children, or we’re telling Mom[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be looking for advice, sharing a fun experience, or just venting about how goddamn maddening this crazyass responsibility can be. This week’s topic: Development Do you ever worry that … Continue reading Parental Guidance January 27, 2018: Development
The Clash were known as “the only band that matters.” But what was that supposed to mean, exactly? How can any band “matter” in the grand scheme of things? Were they supposed to have mattered because of their politics? Every … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: The Clash
When the Night Thread just isn’t Night Thready enough, a wild Sex Thread appears. Let’s get weird and stay weird, within the standard rules. Continue reading Sex & Relationships Thread: 1/19/2018
Dälek [footnote]Pronounced like “dialect”[/footnote] make the harshest, most unforgiving rap music in existence. Hailing straight outta Newark, New Jersey, they construct explosive tracks filled with feedback squalls, distorted vocals, waves of sheer white noise, walls of impenetrable static, and the … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Dälek
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics [footnote]Discussion in these threads is limited to parents only unless otherwise specified.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be looking for advice, sharing a fun experience, or just venting about how goddamn maddening this crazyass responsibility can be. This week’s topic: Sleep How much sleep do your kids get, on average? How … Continue reading Parental Guidance January 13, 2018: Sleep
Jucifer are a cult band’s cult band. Throughout their 25-year career, the Georgia duo have become known mainly for two things: their female singer/male drummer lineup, almost unheard-of for a metal band, and for the giant wall of amps and … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Jucifer
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics[footnote]Discussion in these threads is open to parents only, unless otherwise specified.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be looking for advice, sharing a fun experience, or just venting about how goddamn maddening this crazyass responsibility can be. This week’s topic: Household chores What’s the division of labor like around your house, now … Continue reading Parental Guidance: Chores
Some bands were obviously never going make it big. Some make it there, only to lose the very thing that made them special. Some fluke their way to success, through sheer happenstance. And then there are those bands who had the vision, work ethic, inventiveness and listener-friendly appeal – everything you’d want to have, on paper, to succeed – and end up falling short anyway. Cave In were a band who fell solidly into the latter category. Their story reads like one of those Our Band Could Be Your Life groups who laid the groundwork for Nirvana: the harsh early … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Cave In
Those screams. Good god. Anyone who has heard The Blood Brothers can attest to the horrific effect of their signature feature, the dueling call-and-response vocal assault of singers Johnny Whitney and Jordan Blilie, trading shrill, piercing howls like an especially volatile married couple. It is like a gauntlet laid down against anyone who dares consider themselves fans of challenging or “difficult” music, and it plays as a sort of acid test for newcomers: Can you persist in listening through the savage, nightmarish wails of sonic ultraviolence roaring out of the mouths of these men, to identify the candy-coated pop structures … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: The Blood Brothers
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics[footnote]Please refrain from posting in this thread if you are not personally responsible for raising any children, but feel free to bring up anything we discuss here in the Open Threads.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be looking for advice, sharing a fun experience, or just venting about how goddamn maddening this … Continue reading Parental Guidance: Your Family Newsletter
Pretty Girls Make Graves really seemed like they were on to something good. Part of this is because they explicitly positioned themselves as indie rock saviors of a kind – they were revivalists of a certain post-punk sound and style, … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Pretty Girls Make Graves
R.E.M. performed a vital, yet thankless task: they, more than anyone else, are solely responsible for the modernization of classic rock. It’s impossible to imagine what a good 30+ years’ worth of indie, alternative and mainstream rock bands would have sounded like without an example like theirs, hanging around for as long as they did, seeing flashier and more gimmicky acts come and go, soldiering on through the highs and lows, ultimately proving you could build a Hall Of Fame-worthy career on the basis of sheer musical excellence alone. Has there ever been another group of rock stars who became … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: R.E.M.
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics [footnote]As always, we ask that you refrain from posting in this thread if you are not personally responsible for raising any children. We encourage all non-parents to confine any thoughts pertaining these discussions to the Open Threads. Thank you for your attention to these guidelines.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be … Continue reading Parental Guidance December 9, 2017: Put the X Back in Xmas
What IS it about Pearl Jam? Their status as the number two most iconic, quintessential rock band of the 1990s is nearly undisputed (they never did quite eclipse the memory of Nirvana[footnote]It is impossible to discuss this band’s early success without mentioning Nirvana, but I’ll try not to belabor the connection too much[/footnote]), and with a string of immortal radio singles in their arsenal and, let’s be brutally honest here, a severe lack of competition in their genre, their legacy should be secure. But it’s never been quite that simple for Pearl Jam. Although their tremendous commercial success was almost … Continue reading Artist Spotlight: Pearl Jam
Hello and welcome to Parental Guidance, The Avocado’s Weekly thread for parents, prospective parents, caregivers and other lunatics [footnote]As always, we ask that you refrain from posting in this thread if you are not personally responsible for raising any children. We encourage all non-parents to confine any thoughts pertaining these discussions to the Open Threads. Thank you for your attention to these guidelines.[/footnote] who think they have what it takes to raise some humans. Each week I, Corn, and/or Miss Rim will put up a thread with a discussion prompt and open the floor to all parents who may be … Continue reading Parental Guidance December 2, 2017: Ghosts Of Christmas Past
