It seems that no other sport excels at Big, Dumb Endings more than college football. From Michigan’s Famous Botched Punt to the 5th Down Fiasco to NC State inventing a whole new variety just last week. Will we get another one, or will we have one of those boring weeks filled with good football? The pressure is ramping up around the schedule. Conference games abound, whatever that means these days. Right off the bat, #1 Texas goes to Knoxville in what I hope will be an ill-advised road trip with Texas players wasting their money on comical wigs and their empty bus getting crushed by the Sun Sphere. Illinois goes to #7 Ohio State: will Illinois surprise us this year? No, of course not, don’t be silly. Colorado goes to Baylor. I think Coach Prime should keep dismissing players after each loss until he’s playing the punter and the equipment managers at the end of the season. Nice cluster of (hopefully) good games in the afternoon slot: Oklahoma v Georgia, Ole Miss v Florida, Iowa v Michigan. The legendary* New Mexico v New Mexico State matchup comes round again, and the victor can truly strut around…the state of New Mexico for the next year. More notable matchups include Vanderbilt v Auburn, Wisconsin v Penn State, Nebraska v Michigan State. In the evening, South Caroling heads to Alabama to swim against the tide, while Texas A&M goes to LSU in another game where people everywhere will unite with whoever is playing LSU. Oregon v USC looks to be another good one, Oregon (presumably) looking to prove something in this one. Mizzou travels to play Mississippi State in a competitive conference matchup. Is Mizzou for real? No, of course not, don’t be silly. Mizzou will reveal its true form in due time. And late in the day Stanford plays Georgia Tech, and I’m sorry, I can’t get behind this “Stanford in the Atlantic Coast Conference” business. I watched Carmen Sandiego, I know my geography. The only solution to this madness… is for all conferences to take the old-style NHL route and adopt names like “Prince Of Wales Conference” and “(Chuck) Norris Division” that have nothing to do with geography. Folks, we got some football goin down today.

12:00 pm
#1 Texas @ #14 Tennessee
Illinois @ #7 Ohio State
Colorado @ Baylor

3:30 pm
Oklahoma @ #2 Georgia
#4 Ole Miss @ #21 Florida
#17 Iowa @ #18 Michigan

4:15 pm
Vanderbilt @ Auburn

5:00 pm
Wisconsin @ #13 Penn State
Nebraska @ Michigan State

6:30 pm
Central Michigan @ #6 Miami

7:00 pm
South Carolina @ #8 Alabama

7:30 pm
#23 Texas A&M @ #10 LSU
#20 Oregon @ #12 USC

7:45 pm
#19 Missouri @ #24 Mississippi State

10:30 pm
Georgia Tech @ Stanford