Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, everyone — young and old, short and tall, smooth and furry, High-Holiday Catholic and Real Catholic — everyone (with very niche interests) has been waiting four years for this momentous occasion. No, not the new student union and rec center at LSU. Yes, I know they have a lazy river. Yes, it’s fire. Yes, I heard that a kid totally died in one of the massage chairs next to the pool tables. No, I’m not making any of this up. Anyway, today represents a momentous opportunity, not just for the beleaguered historic town of Avocat, but also for all of Louisiana to show our immense heart, our colorful spirit, our profound faith, and, most importantly, our DEDICATION. TO. SPOOOOOOORTS!”

Welcome to Avocado Werewolf 247: Geaux Werewolf!

If you’ve never played before, welcome! If you’ve played before, welcome back! If it’s been so long you’re practically or possibly actually a different person, welcome stranger! Pull up a seat!

So here’s all you need to know at the start of this game:

1. Each Mascot has already been assigned an alignment via Random Number Generator (RNG), then (if applicable) a role via RNG.
2. Each Mascot has a pre-determined power. It might be offensive. It might be defensive. It might be useless. It might be unexpectedly useful. It might be poorly thought out by the Mod. Who can say? Bid and find out!
3. You start the game with $1000. You have 21 Mascots on which to bid. It’s first come, first serve in the case of a tie. You will bid in Discord (private channel with the Mod), once the Mod declares bidding open. There will be a deadline for the first round of bidding, etc.
4. If you bid and lose (either are outbid or were not first past the post in a tie), you lose that money.
5. At a set time, bidding will reopen. This process will continue until all players have assumed a Mascot. Players with $0 but no Mascot will enter an RNG pool for unclaimed Mascots.

If you want to play, say so here in this thread (@forget_it_jake:disqus) if you’re so inclined. If you’ve never played, no worries! The only hurdle is getting you synced into the Discord, and the only actual barrier there is my own incompetence. Anyway, the game can be scaled up or down, so come one, come all. Do not Discord message me a bid until after I announce here that the bidding is open. There will be an opening announcement and a closing deadline for each round of bidding.

“But, jake,” you ask, “what happens if I successfully bid for my Mascot and have money left over? Is that a good thing?” Why you sly dog you, what a good question!

Anyway, here’s your Mascot list!

Bewildered? Hey, me too. For now, all you need to do is say, “Hey, I want to play this nonsense!” here in the thread, and everything else will unravel from there. Shit, I didn’t mean to say unravel. That is so mascotist. I’m sorry.

Holler with any questions, and, most importantly, come play!