Yeah okay. Need to make more effort, or get more help, or both.
Remember unidentified party bruises? Or, probably later, hangxiety? This week was the homeowner’s renter’s edition. I remember tidying my bathroom, and then changing a lightbulb — which revealed how much more “tidying” needed to happen in my bathroom. (Ew.) (I even remember saying to myself, this operation involves glass, heat, electricity, and climbing. BE CAREFUL, DUMBASS.)
I remember cleaning my stovetop, and paying close attention to any buttons or knobs being pressed accidentally, thanks to an incident the night I moved in (I was not drinking that night, just didn’t know how sensitive the controls were). (But said incident may explain why I’m now apparently so fucking precious about changing a lightbulb.)
I have a vague memory of putting some things in the kitchen sink to soak. Highly unlikely to be dangerous if it goes wrong, but definitely potentially expensive.
But.
I do NOT remember placing 3 distinct Instacart orders.
(Yes I know Instacart is evil; I hate myself for many, many reasons, okay? My life is 24/7 Heavenly Bodies over here.)
Like seriously no memory at all.
Luckily, 96% of everything I ordered was stuff I would have bought anyway, so it’s not like an Alfa Romeo showed up with an invoice. (Imagine if you could order luxury cars on Instacart. Hmm.) It could have been a lot, lot worse. But this has actually scared me.
So. Time to fucking get better. I’m frightened and it’s going to suck. But on the list of Reasons for Going Bankrupt, “drunkenly ordering groceries” is, like, the stupidest reason ever. To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, if I’m gonna get busted it is NOT gonna be for a thing like THAT.
I’m clearly falling apart, and not sure why (beyond “I’m an addict”). Around now is the three-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis/treatment, and I generally have a nervous breakdown once every 10 years or so, which would put me pretty much on schedule…
::strokes chin::
How is everyone else doing?