Jerry’s new girlfriend refuses to try a piece of apple pie, causing him to burn with curiosity. Elaine discovers there’s a mannequin that looks exactly like her. George discovers a suit will be on sale soon and sets out to buy it, competing with another man for it. Kramer has a terrible itch and gets a girlfriend with long fingernails.

Written by: Tom Gammil & Max Pross
Directed by: Tom Cherones

This is a case where Jerry is both at his worst and at his most relatable to me. I love that this whole story spins out of Jerry’s confusion that a woman won’t try a piece of pie, not just because that’s a deranged, typically Seinfeld choice of plot point, but because I can very easily follow his logic. Like Jerry, I’m curious about people, and it would infuriate me not knowing why exactly she chose to turn down the pie. What makes Seinfeld a great show is how it builds such a complex story out of this simple action; if any other show had used this premise, the whole thing would be Jerry investigating this little behaviour, but not only does Seinfeld build up to Jerry having to turn down food without explanation, it manages to pull it back a second time by bringing it into the climax of George’s story!

(I was thinking how these days, I’d wonder if she had some kind of traumatic event, having forgotten that she does try pie elsewhere, which is such a hilarious turn)

Meanwhile, Elaine’s plot is one of those situations where I completely sympathise with her while recognising there’s not really much anyone can do. Like, it’s an embarrassing situation and I’d probably react the exact same way, but you couldn’t really expect a business to throw away a whole doll because it looks like someone. George is the one who looks the most insane this episode; this feels like a classic example of him acting upon impulses that cross the minds of many of us, because everything he does is quite simple – especially the scheme of simply moving the suit so he can find it before the other guy does.

Most of George’s behaviour on this show is so funny because he escalates conflicts the rest of us wouldn’t bother with; he’s obviously not as bizarre as Kramer, but in a way, that makes him funnier – Kramer is very obviously wrong, but George manages to find a precise level of wrongness that is much more difficult to get to. He makes a series of slightly wrong decisions that balloons out into chaos, where every decision he makes is just dumb enough to really question his sanity.

TOPICS O’ THE WEEK

• “Well I’m not gonna be able to walk anywhere now! I’m just gonna be wishin’ there were walkways!”
• I love that Elaine is 100% ready to fight the instant the sales clerk is dismissive of her.
• Building an entire story out of Kramer having an itchy back is also a very Seinfeld plot, even before we see him on another Krameresque whirlwind romance.
• “Why can’t I know?”
• I also sympathise with Jerry being disgusted by someone not washing their hands after using the toilet. I was disturbed when my cousin – a woman who has worked in aged care most of her adult life, and in food preparation before that – did not wash her hands after using the toilet one time. Frankly, one of the best effects of COVID has been the easy access to hand sanitiser.
• Great moment in blocking: Jerry and George eating cereal together with no explanation.
• George does look pretty good in the suit. I do enjoy that, for once, the show confirms George was wildly overthinking something, only to turn in another direction.
• “Elaine, as your legal counsel, I must advise against this.”
• “Conformity is an obsession with me.”
• Ricky showing up at the end as the designer of the Elaine mannequin was already funny on its own and becomes transcendently funny in the context of not explaining the pie. Like, we get an explanation for the bizarre, inexplicable situation but not the mundane question.

Biggest Laugh: This depends very heavily on Jason Alexander finding a hilarious new variation on George being smug.

Next Week: “The Stand-In”